Kick Livestreams/back 2025-10-25 01_10 [7b4d9a84-back] 480p

Testing. Testing.

My stream tanking.

I went long. I'm up £1.

Yeah, I don't think this is gonna be like a smooth sailing for downward shorts.

Ride it up and down.

Rippen.

Ripping.

Come on, £3.

Ripping. Yeah, yeah, £3.

Give me more. £4.

Come on, £4.

Where's my stop loss?

Stop loss there.

£2 or £4? £4.

£4.

£4 or £3?

£4! I just made £4 more. Damn, I'm making so much.

It's like a wave.

Maybe.

Damn, it's just been completely sideways.

Well, that was annoying. I was at 845 and I'm at 820.

Hmm, should I play Sea of Thieves or

Call of— I mean Battlefield?

I think Sea of Thieves.

Don't really want to stare at it all day.

Yeah, Chivalry downloaded, but I was quite enjoying Sea of Thieves before I got interrupted by the market.

Dun dun da dun da dun dun da dun dun dun.

How do I skip this?

Bosun Bill. How many people still play this game? It just feels really dead. And why can't I continue my last game?

Make coffee.

Yeah, I'm waiting for the PM session. The most short, but I don't really want to keep playing bouncy ball with the lulls.

That's so annoying. When you exit the game, it loses your previous game. What about my golden rum?

Is that coffee?

Yup. What's wrong with testing?

What's market doing?

Ripping. Ah, damn it, I'm gonna go back below 800.

Too bad Pia doesn't want to play Sea of Thieves anymore.

Lost interest.

Audio. Well, spasm.

How can I make the graphics look better?

Graphics.

I'm already on maxed out graphics and the game's so old. What's cursed?

Mythical? Is that even better graphics? This game's like 15 years old, isn't it?

I should be able to max it out. It came out in 2010, didn't it?

2012.

Okay.

Wow, Tasha's hot.

Look at those bosoms.

Oh,

I can just take the stuff in now. Cannonball. Oh, what's that?

Damn, Lorena's heart.

Would you bang Lavrina around the backside of the tavern?

Yeah, I want a game like piracy and kind of like this, but maybe a bit more gritty looking with brothels and like an actual use for your gold. Whoops.

Oh shit, wait,

so did I lose my golden rum?

What does this guy sell?

I don't care.

Ah, fell in the water.

Wow, you can shoot the gun underwater.

Okay, where are we going?

Ahoy, me mateys!

We're gonna look for treasure.

Lower the sails, let's go.

Wait, my field of view thing reset.

Oh no, it didn't.

Hmm, where are we sailing to?

Oh, it'd be cool if they made a game where you go on like a car trip and then you gotta load the car, choose your car,

you know, like you buy a car and then you load it up, stock up with food and fuel, go on a road trip through the country, help people along the way.

Avoid getting robbed. Look, there's a pirate ship in the clouds. That looks like a nuclear bomb.

Greeny, where's my banjo?

Can you hear the game sound?

We're sailing. The waves look really cool in this game.

I love the way it just looks so slushy.

Stardew Valley is boring.

Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun.

What's that? Who's Captain Briggsy?

Nah, don't

care.

If you fall off the ship when it's moving, you're screwed because no one's on the ship to stop the ship, which is quite funny.

Where are we going?

No, I want a nice island.

What?

Can't move. Oh.

Let me know when market's tanking.

Where's all the nice islands? Why is it all Doomy, gloomy.

Everywhere's scary looking.

If you go to the seagulls, there's usually loot.

What's over here? Lower the anchor.

Lower it faster. Oh, we're gonna crash.

Whoa, I think we crashed.

Are we flooding? Oh shit. Oh fuck,

we're sinking.

My bed's all wet. Is there one here? There. Oh,

my bucket.

Wait, is my ship still leaking? Oh, I'm still leaking.

Come on. Okay, I

think it's— yeah, we're good.

35 wood.

Wow, sunset, beautiful.

Why is it spinning around? Oh, I didn't put the sail down. That's why.

Below me.

Why is it not spinning?

It's really hard parking the ship.

No, why am I going away from it?

Sailing is not easy, is it?

Sail up,

anchor down,

straighten us up. Straighten us up. Uh, good enough.

What? I thought the game crashed.

What's my category on stocks?

Sea of Thieves.

This market's tanking.

We're still kind of drifting.

My ship's still too far away.

No, no, no, no, no, no. I crashed my ship again.

Turn it around, sails up.

Are we sinking again?

Ah, bucket.

Can I go to sleep? Oh yeah, I want to see the island during the day.

Is it daytime? Why is it still nighttime? When's it gonna be daytime?

Oh look, my health is going up.

It's still—

maybe it's always nighttime. Anyway, park my ship there.

Cannonball,

wood.

Oh, food, leeches.

Fireworks. What's that? What, what's that?

Oh God, I'm gonna die.

Leave me alone.

Ah, what? I died. What happens when you die?

I forgot what you have to do.

Oh, you respawn at the ship. Okay,

where's

all the stuff I looted?

What's that?

Oh, treasure!

Gold! I got 91 gold.

Nothing on this island.

What's

that?

Oh, Floral Fate Rum.

Das Mann.

Finally daytime.

Da da da da da da ding ding ding ding ding. Put that there. Okay, now where?

No, don't crash, don't crash! No, no, no, no! Oh my God!

Uh, no.

Uh, where's my— for fuck's sake.

Oh God.

Sinking.

Okay, back to the wheel.

Where are the nice islands at? These rocks are not very inviting.

Then

The lighting's very nice in this game. Oh, who's shooting?

Yeah, getting pretty nice viewers gaming.

Liar's backbone. Raise the sail,

steer us in.

Have a look at this little rock.

Well, I'm gonna hit the rock. No, no, no, no, I hit it again. Oh, fuck.

Why is it so hard to park this thing?

We leaking?

Okay,

nice

parking.

Ooh,

I'd take that.

Put it here.

What's that?

Cannonball.

Wood. What's that? Hunting spear.

Mhm.

I want treasure.

Yeah, but this game's already dead.

Back in the day, there'd be other people sailing about that would come and harass you and stuff. What's down there?

I kind of want to play Battle Royale mode,

but there's no Battle Royale in Battlefield 6 until next year.

Whoa, what's that?

Hmm,

check my messages.

What's market doing?

Not much, it's just hovering at that area.

Streaming is scary, opening yourself up. What do you mean?

Oh, I see what you mean. Yeah, opening yourself up to all the psychos.

Come on, I want some loot. What's over there?

Sea post. No, I don't want to see a post.

Yeah, I accidentally showed my fake emails, my fake email addresses.

I only used it for my, my fake YouTube account.

That's why I don't like showing my screen on stream.

Stupid Traveling Trader made a poll. I accidentally clicked on it. I bet you gotta be signed in to vote.

That's why I hate showing my screen.

One little slip-up and you're screwed.

Oh God, I'm feeling sick.

I'm getting seasick. Oh, I don't know if I can play this.

That looks funny.

There's nothing here, it's just a lot of rocks. Where are all the tropical islands gone?

Look at the map.

No, I'm down to $8 an hour.

Oh, it's like a nice island there.

I need to go west.

Wait, my ship's flooding. Oh, for God's sake.

Go west first and then I'll sort out my ship.

Why is my ship flooding?

Uh, there's a hole in it.

Oh crap.

Okay.

I want to go there.

Market tanking.

Where's that island?

More to the east.

Damn, the sun's beautiful.

God, wouldn't you love to Have a cute girl on the boat and just bang

on the deck to that sunset.

Lighting's really nice in this game.

Waves getting rough.

Yep, Sea of Thieves.

It's a really beautiful game and it's a cool idea. But it's so dead. There's like nothing to do in it apart from get treasure and then sell it for gold. And then you can't do anything with your gold apart from buy outfits.

You can't like upgrade your cannons or make your ship go faster or get better weapons. I mean, why didn't— so much potential and they didn't do anything with it.

They made this really nice world, really cool sailing mechanics, and there's like nothing to do in it.

The combat's rubbish, it's just like stupid blunderbuss and cutlass.

Why didn't they add stuff to buy where you actually get stronger or better?

I understand. I had

so much potential.

I'm on open world, there's no one here. It's dead. The game's dead.

Yeah, if you get a crew, then you just do this but with other people.

Same thing.

Do do do. Real shame.

They could have at least done like little jobs where you got transport cargo to another island.

Get a mission? I can't be bothered. There's no incentive to make money because there's nothing to do with the money. I can't buy a house.

There's nothing interesting to buy.

Well, what did people do with their money back then? There are no phones, no computers, no cars. You just buy a horse.

What was there to spend your money on apart from food?

Oh,

I'm feeling seasick.

I'm gonna go to this island. Lone Cove.

Raise the sails half-mast, mateys.

Lower anchor.

Raise the sail.

Nice.

Why is it always dark as well?

My shit.

Build a campfire.

Nice.

There's just nothing to do in the game.

I'm bored.

Isn't

there a chat?

Hello? The game's just completely dead.

About to close it.

Makes me feel a bit sad.

I don't know why me and Pete played this so much.

We played Sons of the Forest as well.

Very lonely feeling.

I wanted something that's atmospheric. Has loot.

There's like an addictive gameplay loop. Looks cool and not janky.

Well, this game's just— I don't know,

I'm done. This game's boring.

Boring. Well, uh, play Chivalry.

Whoa, spasm.

Do people play— do people still play Chivalry?

Need toilet.

Put the heating back on.

700 viewers, not even one person wants to play.

Where's Shipwreck?

Why is it not full screen?

Whoa, what happened?

64 player.

Is this game dead as well?

Whoa, whoa, whoa,

whoa! Uh, why is it— oh, the form of Lion's Fire!

What?

At least this game's not dead.

Are these real people? Oh, I can do team— oh, these are real people.

Wow, looks quite pretty. How do I sprint?

The sensitivity is so weak. Oh wait, he's on my side. Sorry, open at him. No time to rest. The sensitivity is really bad.

Options. Uh, where's mouse?

That's better. No, it's not.

No.

That's bad. How'd you sprint?

What? Oh, what? This is actually kind of funny. Weedy killed by Weedy. Why is it

The graphics are pretty

nice.

Auto sprint.

Is he dead? What a die! What a die!

This is pretty funny. What?

It's like Battlefield 1066.

This is actually pretty funny.

I want a sword. Give me a sword.

Oh, sorry,

I killed my own man.

What?

Yeah, this is actually more fun than Battlefield. It's like Battlefield but really gory.

Yeah, I got a sword now.

Was there third person? Increase FOV.

Okay, uh, where is it?

Oh, there is third person.

There, how should you third person?

Oh fuck, I'm sorry. What am I holding? Hey, stop, stop it. No, I'm sorry.

That guy is pissed that I hit him.

What?

How did she see that?

Woo, I'm flying!

Okay.

Under thrust over him. No, the gate has fallen!

Oh, this is hard. Defend the town square!

Market's ripping.

Where do we go?

Is that environmental damage?

Guard my heart. What? Uh, it's getting hard.

Wow, I healed people.

Damn, the blood looks cool. The blood's like textured. Sword my ass!

What?

Oh, I can't. They keep swinging around.

The yelling is funny.

Oh.

Hey, no,

you're dead. Ah, oh my God.

Oh, we're winning.

It's funny people still play this.

It came out 2022. Town square is nearly lost.

Oh, I keep hitting my own people.

Uh, curses! The town square is lost. 9 deaths. I killed no one. Agathians, defend the gatehouse banners!

This game's hard.

Keep our banners safe from the Masons.

I feel like people, modern-day soldiers, have it so much better now where you just get shot at instead of having your arms and legs chopped off.

Now this is way more brutal than people shooting. This is shite.

This is bollocks. Oh, what?

Press F.

Well.

Oh, oh wait, why does he hit me? It's accident.

I get really mad when you run into Fine.

Killed by weed. Yeah. Oh, that's it.

Uh, 2 versus 1.

What?

Be

warned, the Raisins are within our walls.

Defend the trebuchet! They must be firing upon their ships. Oh, sorry. All

right, so he kills his own man.

I keep hitting the wrong people.

Oh, I threw my sword, but I got 2 swords.

Can I pick it up? Wait, pick it up.

You there, I killed someone.

I kicked him.

Oh, what?

Stop the Masons from destroying the trebuchet!

Can I eat some soup?

Oh,

turkey! Keep those trebuchets! Can I eat the turkey?

The

graphics are

nice.

Ah,

sorry. He

dead. That

took off his leg.

Wow, sliced the kid. Oh shit, Mark

is

ripping.

What's that shooting?

What game is it? Battlefield 1000. Battlefield 742. This is— we're screwed, we're screwed!

Oh,

all right.

Whoa,

but

my arm.

His arm came off.

He dead.

What?

I started typing in the chat by accident.

Oh, that's the trebuchets and printers. The trebuchets. Let's pay.

Come with me to pay.

Oh, where everyone tuning in from? The desecration of Galencourt.

Where everyone tuning in from? Where everyone tuning in from?

It's already 5 o'clock.

Everyone tuning in from

The heathens!

Protect the city of Galencourt and safeguard Fadric's tomb.

I'm not ready. Defend the outer fortifications. Cold.

Okay.

Second moment. Whoa,

what?

This game's

funny.

Wow, he's got

Big sword.

Whoa,

that sword's cool.

The archers are stupid.

Does the category really matter?

Oh, stand up and fight! I've got you. What? What?

Who's hitting me? What? I like that sword.

Oh, I got him! Give me the sword!

Oh, 75 damage! Oh, this game's fun.

Our fortifications are being overrun.

Market not tanking.

He swings so quick.

The outer fortifications have been occupied. Fall back to the docks. Defend the flagships. Do not allow the Masons to destroy Disable them.

Um, my key bindings are weird. The mouse scroll button does overhead.

Oh, that's so—

whoa.

I'm dead.

I'm gonna change my weapon.

No.

Oh, I hit my own guy. My sword's in his back.

Oh, I got him.

Get my sword back.

Oh,

that was good.

Where—

ah,

I'm flying.

No, the Lion's Roar is lost. Its mast is broken. Rally to the Golden Age defense.

I got a ladder.

Ship's

cool. Wow, help me,

Margaret! Tanking.

Damn, look at the blood.

Oh, I got him! He did

forward spawn.

Why is my key bindings like that?

I need to change my key bindings.

So, so overhead

mouse button

E,

uh,

jab Q.

So now I've got jab and E for overhead.

I'll do you for that.

What? I was blocking. Oh, I'm still alive. The gate is lost! Defend the outer ward!

What?

Huh, this game's tough.

So that's jab. It's not a jab.

That's a jab.

Uh, special. Oh, stab. Okay, it does stab me.

That's not staff. Staff.

Um,

where's like a thrust?

I want to do that,

but I want to change that.

Wheel down, wheel up. It should be this one. Stab. Cute. I'll get rid of specials.

No,

jab. Yeah, that's what I'm doing.

The outer wall is overrun. Retreat to the city. Oh, got him!

That's pretty nice. Kill those dirty heretics! Oh, got him!

Yeah, the city of Satan!

Okay, now I've got my controls sorted. Can I chop the tree down?

I need dying. I cannot. They're destroying the city. Oh God, got me.

What's this game? Chivalry. Relics are lost and the city is ablaze! Agathians, defend the church! They must not gain entry! Agathians! Oh, see that?

Wow.

I want a bigger weapon.

Give me the battle axe.

All the battle axe now.

Whoa, I did 90 damage!

I'm back! I rang my bell!

Where's my axe?

Yeah, there. Champions, make a Final stand and protect Lord Vader's tomb. Oh, I got him!

Wait, oh, this

game's hard.

Oh, one shot.

Oh, thanks for subbing.

Oh, team damage. Oh, 90 damage.

Oh, that's pretty nice.

Whoa, he hit me with a barrel!

This is like Monty Python.

Where's

the king?

Oh, you did— you did—

give me back my arm!

Oh, at least there's no explosions. I hate explosions.

Ah, I hit my own man.

Oh,

I don't know how to do fire pot.

Come on, spawn! I remember what

Oh, but these people suck. 500.

What? This guy's good. Damn, this guy's pretty good.

Mark is not tanking.

Whoa.

Market's ripping. Traveling trader said, oh, we're gonna fade the data high.

I swear, every time he says we're gonna revisit the lows, it doesn't do it.

Huh, Daedric's tomb has been defiled. We are left in disgrace.

Bit mind tanking.

The

raid on Aberfell.

I like the scenery way more than Battlefront. It's more green.

Not sure if I like it more

than Battlefront.

Change my class. Commence the raid of Aberfell! Masons must pay for the desecration of Galenford! Take the village, destroy the heretics' ancient stones!

The Agathians are capturing our laborers and livestock. They must be stopped.

Press P. Do you think it's easier in third person mode?

He's got a pig.

Oh, I forgot, we're the red guys.

Wow, my God.

Oh God, market's ripping. Jesus,

fucking market.

Stupid traveling trader.

Come on, I can't do anything.

Get out of

my way.

Aiden, protect our laborers! What? Can't even jump in the water?

What kind of— oh.

They have abducted half of the village!

Oh, I got him.

One.

What? Oh God, I'm getting destroyed on shorts.

I can't believe Marcus just keeps on ripping like that.

I guess he was right that that was the only retracement we're gonna get.

Oh, I got him!

You did.

We have failed to protect the village. Fall back to the tower. Wait, is he on my side or what? Why is he standing there? This tower is our only remaining bulwark. Defend it!

What? Why do I run out of stamina so quickly and then they don't?

I don't know, maybe I like Battlefield more.

This game's hard. It's hard to kill people.

In Battlefield, I just spam the grenade launcher everywhere, everyone.

I'm binded kicking jab.

I got him.

I hate the fire on that.

Oh, he didn't— oh,

accident.

Fire is really annoying.

I

hate the fire effect.

Push them back! Don't let them near the tower! We make our stand here and now!

Oh, that hurts.

What? Play archer? No, I want a sword. Curses! The tower has fallen! We won't surrender Aberfell so easily. Protect the hamlet for the Order!

What? Oh, look at my meat! Juicy steaks.

Another boring weekend.

Oh, dodge!

No! Yeah, I

don't know how I'm doing it. It's just random. Can I pick his head up? Oh, you can! That's funny.

Can I get rid of it now? Why have I got his head?

They have nearly secured the hamlet. We must resist.

He dead.

Ah.

It's too bright.

Eat it.

Copperfield has fallen into the hands of the The enemy retreat to the mountain. What? Ambush them! That was cool how he ducked that swing. That appears to be their focus.

We hold them off here. Quick! Somebody paint my portrait.

Oh, this is bad, very bad. I just ducked all of them.

Oh, I got him!

I need a better button for that.

It's hard doing my little finger.

I'm thinking I'm buying the side mouse button.

Where is it?

Crouch. Well, now it's just crouched like that. It's kind of hard for me.

It was also bound to the other one.

Oh,

um, maybe I put crouch on— I think controller would be a lot easier to play this game. Crouch F.

Oh, but F is Tackle.

Maybe R. F is bound on kick. Oh, there's too many buttons. Shove. Oh, that's better.

Spot waste. Missed me. I forgot where I put it. Don't give them the satisfaction of destroying those stones. There are few left. I put crouch on F.

I think I'll put on R. Uh-huh.

Oh, I got him!

All the obelisks have fallen. Fall back to higher ground. Rally around the Druid chieftain. Try to keep them alive.

Is that Stonehenge?

Oh fuck, uh, accident.

They get so mad when you friendly fire.

Ah,

I'm back. What a strike! Buy that Bow and arrow if I could.

Ah, I keep forgetting what crouch is.

Is that a fish?

This is so bad. The 2 enemy

warlords are falling. Keep them alive. Not the druids.

Ah, we lost again. Senseless symbolic victory. We have other big tasks. Very bad. Lost every game.

Market one time.

I've been waiting all day.

The slaughter of Coxwell.

Coxwell.

Leave them in bits.

Okay.

Lock in.

How do I chat?

I hate this bit when you're the peasants. Oh, I'm not a peasant. Slaughter these traitors in their own fields. Oh, we're killing the peasants. Infantry! Burn the village and slaughter the peasants!

Oh, they're the peasants. I thought they're bots.

That woman.

What? I was blocking.

My sword.

I need

a

weapon. Give me that.

What?

Where's my weapon gone? My head came— my helmet came off.

I got the final lasagna.

Hmm, I've got to buy Haribo's tomorrow. We've sent half of them to hell. Let's do the rest.

Do that, do that.

Oh.

Oh, he dead,

he dead. Oh, I got big sword.

Wait, I want to use the big sword.

Move on, the village has been destroyed. Can I get the next level? Oh, I want officer. I am level 3. Down the gate with your weapons! Unlock this one.

Oh, I got a new weapon, war axe.

Get those gates open, destroy them!

Oh.

Yeah.

Oh, 70 damage.

The gate is nearly destroyed.

Lord Ford, did the category change on its own yet?

We have breached the city gate!

Enter the city and loot their valuables for the Order!

Oh, I caught his leg.

Mark it, tanking. Fill our coffers, take anything of value. Stealing my healing.

Oh.

Oh,

what?

The

town is almost completely looted.

What? How can he swing so quickly?

I swing so slow.

Oh, this game's hard.

What?

I'm alive. I am ready to win more glory.

What?

I

hope this guy

Can't do anything. Ah, if I block I don't have any stamina left to do anything else.

This

is upsetting.

How'd you do a counter

move?

Oh,

I got a

headshot.

Oh, I got him.

Go

on then, give me that.

Oh, wrong person.

Maybe I'll do better with a shield.

What?

You're dead.

Spirit fights on. Oh, look, I

got the sword in her face. How is she not dead? I need a sword.

My body fails me.

My helmet came off. Oh, my arm's gone. I'm still alive.

Well done, we've cleared an area of loot. I need a sword.

An axe in his back.

Give me a weapon. Why can't I pick it up?

I got him.

Right, 20 damage. I'm still alive.

Where's his— I can't pick up his sword. Why not?

I think Shift might be better for crouch.

No,

oh,

I lasted long without an arm.

All loot has been captured. Come on, Rick! What? I smashed him and he just one-shot me. Finish them!

This is not good.

This is— I can never dodge that.

Ah, you dead.

Oh

God, the market's boring today. It's not doing anything.

I need it to tank.

Am I gonna play this all night? Um, I don't know.

Yeah, the email addresses are real. Why don't you try sending a message to it?

You know, I got like 10 emails.

We have eliminated half of their remaining forces. He dead.

He dead. Oh, he was on my team last Okay, they're not my main emails.

Oh.

What time is it? 6 o'clock.

Oh,

wow.

The Cathayans have no reinforcements left.

Oops,

my axe is in his back.

Oh, I got him.

Oh, I got him again.

Get it, get it.

What? Why are we lost again?

Ah, stupid fucking Samsung died.

What's wrong with the chat?

The Battle of Dark Forest. Where's my toothpick?

Slaughter the Lord! Slay them all! Kill them where they stand! Cut them down!

Yeah,

I will pay my mum back when I get the full 19,000.

By surprise. Attack, brothers! Stop that caravan!