Kick Livestreams/i have RETURNED [a08c2a40-7e4e-4bc1-9dd0-96542e8700f1] 480p

I'm stuffed. Fish and chips. Do you want to see a picture of my fish and chips?

Well, tough, because you don't deserve it because you're stupid.

Fine, I'll show you a picture since you asked nicely.

Fish and chips and southerly.

Oh, I'm so full. I haven't had beer.

I feel like the, um, atmosphere in the house is a bit different now. Feels a bit more normal.

I wonder what it feels like when,

uh, the baby's gone as well and it's just me and my mum here.

Maybe it'll feel back like old vibes.

Maybe I'll come back home after the hotel.

Screw the Devon house.

Oh, I gotta wake up early tomorrow. Car dealership. I might have bath tonight.

Bath tonight, wake up early tomorrow,

and then come back. Maybe I make a video and then go live, not sure yet.

I'll make a video about why Japanese women

hate foreplay.

I can trick a whole bunch of weebs into thinking they won't have to do foreplay.

Why Japanese women hate Westerners. And then I put big text in the thumbnail, do not come to Japan.

I'll pretend I'm a Japanese man trying to protect my women from the Western barbarians

since people think I'm Japanese.

Remember Spanish girl said, oh, I thought you were Japanese? She asked me if I spoke English well.

You don't remember Spanish, girl? Oh God.

I used to be so scared of driving into Lenham. I used to think it's such a crowded, tiny little village. I drove there with my mum, completely confident.

I think my driving confidence has just gone through the roof.

I did the perfect reverse park.

My sister used to work at that fish and chip shop when she was a teenager.

She lasted like one week or something, and then I think she quit or got fired.

Should we do a prediction? Will I come back to my mum's house after the hotel? I honestly don't even know myself,

but my sister and the baby, they're gonna go back to London next week, so if I come back, definitely be different vibes.

Because I didn't manage to get back into the, like, the OG vibes, I think because of the dynamic.

Oh God, sorry for that.

A special message. What am I supposed to say to that?

I'm not gay, I'm not Chinese, and I'm not little— bigger than you.

That's only 50% clenched.

Trust me, you don't want to see 100% clenched.

You'll have nightmares.

I'm not bisexual,

and even if I was, still got more girls than you.

Looks like all the retard trolls are on tonight.

Look at my belly.

Might have a bath food tonight.

And then I'm going to Maidstone with my mum tomorrow.

I've only made—

I've only made $45 today. What the fuck?

Oh God,

I did 5, 6 hours 40 minutes, I made £45— I mean dollars.

That's like $7 an hour now.

For 50 viewers, I get $7 an hour.

Back to being broke.

From $16 an hour to $7.

You happy now?

I need to buy the gaming PC, get my views up. It's the only way.

Oh,

my stomach. I ate too much.

The laptop can't play new games on good graphics, and then at low graphics it's really stuttery.

It's hard being a gamer.

Oh, I should have made a coffee, not a tea.

I don't want more stuff in my stomach.

They should make a caffeine vape.

I shouldn't have made the tea. I should make— have they got caffeine in tea though?

I'd love to see you inverse gold and see how that works out for you.

You'll get wrecked.

Might make a coffee.

I can go downstairs now with the stream.

I feel like—

I said I feel like I have freedom.

Might get rid of the tea.

Oh God, my stomach.

Oh, it's so annoying. I don't know what is going wrong with my setup.

It's like when I go downstairs, it loses connection.

I think because it's losing line of sight with the laptop. Let's try again.

Now it doesn't let me go downstairs. Weird. When I go too far away from the laptop,

it disconnects. I guess I'll just leave you here and I'll go make the coffee myself.

It's really weird because in my Devon house I can go upstairs and go in the garden and it stays connected. Maybe the walls here are just too thick. When I go downstairs, like, this connection between the phone and laptop Gets cut off.

Oh, stomach. I need caffeine.

The hell, you weirdo, is going on about now?

Do you ever just think you You care too much about stuff that doesn't matter.

Like, all these things that you believe make someone a loser, at the end of the day,

really doesn't matter at all.

When you're nearing the end of your life like me, puts things into perspective.

I have an RTX 4050 Pro Gamer laptop with 16GB of RAM,

Ryzen 7940HS.

My stomach's gonna get even more bloated from the coffee, but I need caffeine.

Imagine Daniel drafted in a war. I would surrender straight away, and then I'll be safe in the POW camp, given free food, and I don't have to do anything whilst you suckers getting blown to bits.

I'll go surrender and I'll leak all the secrets, and then I'll just wait for the war to be over and I'll get sent home as a hero. I'll be a survivor of POW camps. I'll make it sound way worse than it actually was.

Dropping a grenade on you? I don't know, catch it and throw it back.

Or how about you use your gun and you shoot the stupid drone? I saw these stupid soldiers like running away from the drones or surrendering with their arms up at the drone. How about you just shoot the drone, dumbass? What are you a gun for then?

What, they're saying they can't hit the drone? Not a very good soldier then, are you? Can't even hit a drone with your gun.

Now what the hell are they training for then? Maybe they should stop wasting all this time trekking up and down doing push-ups and stupid exercises and learn to shoot a gun at a drone, or I don't know, get a shotgun.

Yeah, well, I'm not a soldier, am I, dumbass? I haven't done any military training, so of course

I'm not going to do it. But they're professional soldiers. It's what they've been training for.

Yeah, they give training, don't they, to the draft soldiers? They don't just give them a gun and say, okay, off you go.

You're not very good at following what I'm saying, are you, dumbass?

I'm not talking about choice or no choice. I'm saying shoot the drone with the gun.

Whoa, my stomach's so full, it feels like it's going to explode.

I need to release all the gas.

They've got machine guns, so they need to spray and pray in the general direction of the drones. Not 1942 where they got bolt-action guns with 5 shots in a clip. What are they using, Lee-Enfields? They've got a machine gun, just go pop pop pop pop at the drone's direction.

What guns are they giving them, muskets?

Dumbass. If there's so many people dying, just pick up their gun.

You just pick up the bullet that you shot out and use it again, like a bow and arrow. You see, when you shoot a gun, the bullet flies out. Just pick it up again, put it back in, put some new gunpowder in it. That's what they used to do.

Let's go back to using bow and arrows. At least you can reuse the arrow.

Well, Bruce Lee is in Hitman now. Bruce Lee joins Agent 47 for a brand new elusive target mission.

Bruce Lee's hairstyle looks so bad.

Why did he do that hairstyle on time? If he just got some gel and spiked up, it would look cool.

His hair is like the hair before you style it. It looks like that before you style it. But then they forgot to style his hair.

My hairstyle's the best.

It's too much food in my stomach. I don't know if the coffee, the caffeine in the coffee, is getting to the stomach lining.

Oh, it's all getting mixed up with the fish and chips.

Why so many short livestreams for the same day?

Um, so I did the morning stream and then I had lunch, and then I did the afternoon stream, then I had dinner, and then I came back for the after show.

I had some breaks—

lunch break, dinner break.

I'm not gonna sit in my room the whole day avoiding my family just for this stupid stream.

My whole point of coming back was to see my family, not sit in my bedroom. I didn't even think I was gonna stream all day. I thought I was gonna make videos and do a YouTube stream like the good old days, but Kick's ruined everything. Kick's made me not want to make videos and not want to stream

on YouTube.

I don't know, I might go back to Devon next week, or I might come back here next week. Depends on my mood.

Yeah, Kick saved me, but then it basically destroyed everything else.

Destroyed my motivation to make good videos. Destroyed my YouTube streaming. When was the last time you fucked someone? Planning to do it again soon? Yeah, that's why I'm going to a hotel this weekend.

Fun ideas for content like what?

Kit ruined my YouTube career. Now I've got zero motivation to do YouTube.

Food review. Yeah, as if that's gonna get any views.

How the fuck do you review food? You just eat it.

Or like describe the crispiness of the batter. Yeah, it's crispy, duh.

All these nerds and losers gotta make anything out of anything.

Food reviewing is the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

Oh God, my stomach. I can't wait to shit it all out.

Oh, my stomach.

This is what I hate, overeating.

It didn't kill the channel more. The only thing that killed the channel more was not having content. If I had content, people would come back. Obviously, if I neglect it and go back with nothing, it would continue the death spiral. If I neglected it and went back with content, people would come back.

The neglecting bit doesn't have anything to do with it.

Yeah, I say it ruined my YouTube because now I don't— I can't be bothered to make videos.

It's not my fault you're too stupid to understand.

I'm never wrong.

Name one time I was wrong about anything.

Yeah, you can't even name one.

Come here and insult me and you can't even name one example.

Wow,

why have you never fucked a girl's ass? Do you think you will eventually? Also, doesn't Kit make you like $6 an hour? How is that better than YouTube? $9 an hour, actually. And fucking a bumhole is kind of gay.

It's the inferior hole. You only fuck a bumhole when it's the only option, i.e., when you're gay.

Yeah, well, Kate would have made me 80K. Yeah, if you idiots kept watching.

Oh, my stomach. Oh, how long until it digests?

Look.

Oh, this is what being pregnant's like.

Oh

God, I had a Savalay, medium portion of chips, and a big cod, and then a tea and a coffee.

Oh,

I'm dying.

I

don't think I have any less drive. I'm meeting a girl, am I? Why did you shadow ban Booty Collectly, Steve J, but other people who were mean to you are still here? I haven't banned anyone apart from Chuff Weasel.

I just don't stream it or film it. I'm still doing stuff.

I went on 4 dates with 4 different girls last month, and then

I've got a regular girl now.

I drive up and down the country and I've got a house.

It's just you perceive me as just sitting in the house all the time because that's all you see.

You can't imagine that I do stuff off camera. Like, you don't think it counts when I do stuff off camera.

I think my life's still exciting. I just share less of it,

and I talk less excitedly about it because I'm not a 20-year-old virgin anymore. I'm a 36-year-old experienced man who's done all this before, so I'm not all giddy and excited about it.

I don't do nothing. I just don't show you when I don't do nothing.

I just value my privacy a bit more now.

No, I didn't enjoy Manchester. It was very boring

and I didn't have any sex,

so this time's been a lot more successful.

Oh, I just farted. Released some pressure. I just need to fart and burp all the gas out.

No, I'm not going to Japan.

I'm strictly dating British girls now.

No. Yeah, I don't know why I didn't like British girls when I was younger.

Now my preferences have changed.

I used to think Asian girls were so great.

Yeah, they don't smell of anything, that's the thing.

When you're with an Asian girl, you're missing the 4th dimension of senses.

There's the physical feeling, the taste, the sight, and the smell.

You're kind of missing the smell and the taste. They don't really have any taste either.

You know, it's kind of hot when you kiss a girl after she's had a cigarette and her mouth tastes like smoke. It's like a smoked ham

cured in salts and smoke.

Asian girls, boring, bland, and lacking in luster.

You're only getting 2 out of the 4 dimensions of senses.

I'm only dating musky girls from now on.

Once you experience the musk, you can't go back.

I'm never gonna make love to an Asian girl ever again.

Can't be bothered.

They don't even look that good.

I've never met a smelly Asian girl. They always smell like nothing.

Well, wow, thanks.

Wow, so generous.

Don't say the N-word. That is not nice.

Well, wow, Sam Pepper's online! Pepper's in the chat, guys, my fellow Cantonian guy. Me and Sam, best mates.

We're bros.

I like how his girlfriend's called Peggy. Like she pegs him. Maybe she got a willy.

So Pepper's streams are boring. He just sits in that weird dark green room gambling on slot machines, and then sometimes he goes out and sits in a restaurant with some person.

And people only watch him because he, he's got gossip and juice about Ice Poseidon and Kimmy.

Where the hell's Ice anyway? Probably crying in his bed all day while smoking 10 packs of cigarettes.

He's probably the most miserable he's ever been. Whilst also being the richest he's ever been. It's funny how that works.

But he also misses the days when he was super famous, like the excitement

from going live. It's pretty dead for him as well.

He just— he doesn't even like casually stream, say, hey guys, what's up?

You can tell he hates it as much as I do. At least he made his millions. I'm broke.

You know that song that plays in my car called Unfaithful? It makes me think Kim's singing it and she's singing about ice.

She says something like, every time I go out the door It kills him inside because he knows that I'm happier with another guy. This sounds like Kim would be singing that.

I'm telling you, no streamer actually enjoys streaming apart from maybe Asmongold and CW8 because they got nice positive audiences. No streamer has a toxic audience and enjoys it.

Boring and lame. I don't understand why you deleted your YouTube channel. You could have left the videos up and still made minuscule amounts of money on it by doing nothing. Yeah, like $100 a month. That's not worth it. I'm gonna recreate a new video catalog of gaming stuff.

No more weird videos making me look bad.

So yeah, you go into a big English city and crazy stuff's going to happen with all the immigrants and violent people.

My sister said in London, outside of the B&Q, there's like loads of illegal immigrants begging for work, saying stuff like, oh, I'll paint your house, I'll lay some bricks. I should just go live on Kick.

You don't need government ID or anything. Don't need a— I guess you do need a bank account. Just make a Revolut. Anyone can make a Revolut. Don't need government ID, do you? Make a Revolut, link it to Kick, go live, stream your life as an illegal immigrant begging for money in London.

Imagine, you know, all these illegal immigrants doing Uber Eats, aren't they? Imagine they catch on to Kick, then you got swarms of illegal immigrants walking around with selfie sticks streaming.

That'll be funny.

They have no idea.

Day in the life as an illegal immigrant.

Oh God,

I should get on OnlyFans as well.

All these people begging to have the right to work and live in this country like I do.

They wish they had my life.

What can you do?

Maybe like Clarkson's Farm could do with some extra hands. And they could like plow the fields,

plant some crops. In return they get free food, free shelter.

That girl from Clarkson's farm left, Harriet. She's not bad looking, but she's got double chin. I don't like that.

Caleb came back and she disappeared. I'd rather have her on than stupid fat cocky-mouthed Caleb. Thinks he's a hotshot now.

What do you mean, what happened to my camera? Nothing.

POV making love with Daniel.

You wish.

Oh, I need to pee again. All the juices are making their way to the bladder. 嗯。

Hmm, I don't know. I thought about going to Diddly Squat, but my sister said she went there and it was packed, like completely packed full, queues of cars trying to get into the car park, and Jeremy Clarkson's not even there, so what's the point? Maybe if you sit there all day, he might come by. I feel like

when he's not shooting for the clocks for the farm show, he doesn't actually do any farming.

That's the only fucking stupid. You're not going to get rid of the reputation of your old videos unless you totally change your personality and do like years of therapy, which you have said you won't. So just put the channel back up. Is it deleted or privated?

Nigger, nigger, nigger, nigger, nigger, nigger, nigger, nigger, nigger, nigger, nigger, nigger, nigger, nigga, nigga, nigga, nigga, nigga, nigga. No, they're not deleted, it's just privated.

It's not the point to erase my reputation from the memories of the people who know me, it's to prevent new people finding out about my past. I don't know why you guys always misunderstand the point of me hiding the channel.

It's not to hide it from people who already know, it's to hide it from people who don't know. I don't care about you guys, you already know. There's not much I can do about that. I can't erase your memories, can I, like Men in Black?

Haven't you already seen the videos? Why do you want to see them again? Maybe I'll put it to memberships only. But I can't be bothered because you've got to set those individually one by one. There's no mass select for memberships. You can mass select 50 videos at a time and set them to private, unlisted, or public, but

you can't set them to members. You'll do that one by one, and I've got like 600 videos. I'm not doing it one by one, 600 videos.

Yeah, I don't care if it's archived. Yeah, archived on some random website that no one's ever gonna find. As if I give a shit.

You're missing the point. The point is so my stupid old videos don't randomly pop up on YouTube.

And don't re-upload them because I'll copyright strike you into the black pits of hell.

Walamo better watch it. I see her uploading my stuff, re-uploading my stuff. 2 more and I can get your whole channel deleted, just saying.

I want an apology from Walamo and from Moon.

Tell Moon she better bend the knee.

What else?

You act like a fucking asshole on stream. Anyone who isn't fucking stupid knows you are capable of the things you did in the past. Look at how you are talking to us now. You're being rude to me, so I'm being rude back.

Yeah, I can still report them. Even if it's at 1.5 speed, it's still my video, isn't it?

Oh, my stomach. Oh God.

Oh Jesus.

Uh, I think that I Hate Living in Japan video might still be up. I forgot, I just left the gaming stuff up.

You remember I burped and I was like, fucking hell, fuck me. The old Daniel who people thought was endearing, who you made fun of for having a lisp, wouldn't have talked like this. If you pretended to be like that again, you'd probably be much bigger even now and have a nice audience. Remember the beginning? Oh wow, thanks.

You're so hot. I have an Asian fetish. Can I see your bare feet?

Yeah, well, nice Daniel got killed by horrible people, didn't he? So now you got Dick Daniel.

You created the monster.

No, I wasn't always a dick. I was quite a nice guy, and then horrible people on YouTube killed my spirit.

The haters and the stupid annoying people in

the comments murdered pure innocent Daniel.

Oh God, God, I'm so uncomfortable.

It's hard to breathe.

Yeah, well, it's pretty depressing having a dead channel with only toxic people left now.

Had fish and chips with a Savalite and a glass of beer. With some coffee. Well, thanks. No, we didn't, you fucking moron. You started doing bad things like cheating and talking about CS all the time, so then the toxic people were drawn to it and came out. If you just kept talking about cameras and iPhones, you would

have been fine, nigga.

Yeah, but you got views, so that's what motivated me to make those videos.

I thought— I didn't think people would care that much about cheating, to be honest. People cheat all the time. Arnold Schwarzenegger cheated, Jackie Chan cheated.

Plus it happened like 10 years ago, so I thought, why not?

I didn't think people would be crying about it, something that happened 10 years ago. Loads of people cheated. My cousin cheated on his wife and then ditched her and her 3 kids, and then he got a new girl.

And then my Malaysian cousin divorced his wife and got a new girl, leaving her with 2 kids. At least I didn't leave any kids.

I'm not ill, I just had too much food and I'm burping the gas out, and sometimes a bit of stomach acid comes up along with it.

The only thing I'll defend you on is that Sheesh was probably a bitch. Her sleeping with 17-year-olds and getting divorced like 3 times suggests she has some kind of trauma-based personality. Her being nice was a front, wasn't it? Didn't she cheat a lot? Yeah, she had an Australian sex friend for a year while she was married. She's

no angel either.

She was on Tinder meeting Australian guys. Her poor ex-husband, the first one, couldn't even get his willy up.

Like, can you imagine your wife getting creamed by Australian guy and then she comes back in the evening Gets into bed with you.

I avenged him. I gave her a taste of her own medicine.

Gotta look after the bros.

I was an avenger. We would love to just ignore and brush over the fact that she cheated as well.

And they all attacked me.

I am genuine, genuinely miserable.

But people are way more forgiving when the woman cheats. When the woman cheats, everyone's like, oh, the guy didn't make her feel loved, it was the guy's fault. But when the guy cheats, it's all, oh, he's the scumbag.

Did Jinx ever cheat on you? Do you think she did? Why or why not? Maybe she did it and you didn't know. Also, she threw things at you and you

And sex therapy doesn't work. I agree, she's probably as much of a bitch as you. She told me that she had sex with a guy in our bed when I was in Germany, and she had a big smirk on her face.

I upset— we were in bed like going to sleep, and then I said something upset her, and then she was like, yeah, well, I fucked another guy whilst you were in Germany, and she was like

I turned my back on her and went to sleep. And then I fucked her the next morning.

It was after I came back from the whole Turkish girl Germany expedition.

She went on 5 dates. She said she couldn't find anyone she liked as much as me. There was like a black guy, I remember. She says she went on a date with a black guy but just didn't like him,

probably because he's black. That's what she said.

But yeah, it was this stupid, toxic, messed up marriage where we were both cheating on each other. And she started it. She was sexting an Australian guy when I was sick, remember?

I found her texts on her phone. She said, I miss your dick.

And that was in February, 5 months after we started living together.

I moved into her place in October, and then in February, 4 months later, she was sexting Australian guy. And then she just made some stupid excuse because she got busted. She was like, oh yeah, well, I just said that because you said blah blah blah on the stream.

She didn't even say sorry. You know what she said when I sneaked on her phone and confronted her? She was like, why are you looking at my phone?

Not even a, oh, I'm really sorry, Daniel.

October of the previous year.

I don't know if— I don't know if she ever did it with Australian guy again after we met.

I know that last time they did it was like 2 days before she met me on our first date.

I'm sorry, it hadn't even been a month since she last did it with him when we did it the first time.

No, I never camped. I just pretended I was homeless and camping by the river. Do you think it would be hot if she beat you up though? I wonder what she's doing now. She's probably just as miserable as you, to be honest, LOL. Didn't she get divorced or break up with someone again? She should go to therapy.

She dated some YouTuber, Japanese guy, and then he cheated on her and called her fat and ugly.

We had insider information from a guy called Chosen. She spilled it all to him. Not knowing that he was a viewer, and then he leaked all the screenshots.

Yeah, I think I walked past him at the bridge by the river. I saw him looking up, looking at me, and then he looked back down at his phone.

Uh, Sushi Vlogs.

おはようございます皆さん。 This stupid intro is so dumb. おはようございます。 The guy looks like such a loser. I can't believe she dated him. They traveled around as well. They went to Thailand.

He vlogged in Thailand and she also posted pics from Thailand, and I could see her reflection in his vlog on the bus door window.

She thought she was so slick, but we sussed her out. You could see the silhouette of her big ears. She got quite big ears for her head.

Damn, 2025 and talking about Chihiro still brings the views. Can we get back to 100?

No, I never messaged Mila since we broke up. My mum messaged her when I was in Manchester. Mila sent my mum a picture of her new guy,

and then my mum sent it to me, and then I got mad at my mum.

And then last I saw Mila was on that BBC video.

On the bastion's soul.

I wonder if she's dating someone now. Probably. She's not the type to stay single,

and young guys would happily date her for a bit just to get some cereal,

but she won't find someone long-term.

The guys just get bored and find someone younger

when they get some success in life.

That's just how it goes. Guys get some financial success, career success, And they upgrade to a younger girl.

I mean, who's going to want to stick around dating someone nearly 10 years older than they are when they've got better options?

And a Korean woman, I can't believe she actually thought I wanted to like date her properly when she's 15 years older than me.

She's like nearly 60 now.

My first proper girlfriend was 36 when I first met her, and I was 20 years old.

21. Does your mom still talk to her or did they finally stop? I feel like her talking to her was 100% just to keep tabs on you. She isn't genuine at all. She just puts up a front and pretends not to be the bitch she is. LOL. I'm afraid not.

I doubt they still talk.

Jahira just uses people. Like, she used Hong Kong guy,

but when she moved on, she didn't talk to Hong Kong guy anymore because he had no use. His only use was helping her get back at me. When she moved on, didn't care anymore. He served no purpose. He said to me last time he spoke to Chihiro was like 2021.

People kept saying Chihiro can be friends with who she wants, and I kept thinking, yeah, as if they're actually friends.

See, they both enjoyed trash-talking me on stream, didn't they?

What was your use? Why did she date you in the first place? Do you think she actually had any genuine love for you? I know she must have had feelings since she kept tabs on you through Hong Kong guy and your mom. Are any of her friendships genuine or not? Yeah, I think she did because I was

a nice-looking guy, young.

And I was quite handsome, and she likes young guys. She doesn't like middle-aged, balding, fat Japanese salarymen.

And I was quite sweet and cute back then before I became toxic, corrupted by YouTube. I did the whole nice guy act pretty well. I mean, you, you guys all fell for it as well until my true colors and the mask slipped.

No, I haven't spoke to Elvis. He also unfollowed me on Instagram. He probably found out I trash talked him in almost every stream. I remember I was trash talking him in Manchester and he showed up in the chat. He was like, lol, Daniel, you never changed. Is it okay that I do your loyalty? I need contact information

for you.

If you want.

No, I can't be bothered doing Uber Eats anymore. It's too boring. £3 here, £4 there. Do 6 hours and you make £70 after delivering like 20 McDonald's.

The most annoying thing is that road's pretty busy. You get all jammed up. It's hard to get back to the McDonald's quickly, and you've got those traffic lights as well slowing you down. You're all those moped people as well, snapping up all the jobs.

Now, I was very good at being a nice guy.

And I was good at keeping my dark side a secret until YouTube

made me expose myself and put it all on display.

Otherwise, people would have no idea about my dark side, cuz, you know, it's easy to do the nice guy act.

And then relationships become toxic, don't they? It's just no one would normally know. It's just I made it all public,

made videos about it.

I know I got this like weird thing where I like admitting to my crimes. I did it the other day at the dinner table, just completely accidentally,

but I, I have some kind of fetish of admitting my own crimes. It's weird, like I can't stop myself.

Then I realized what I did. I was like, oh shit. And then I tried plaiting it down.

I got this confession fetch. I mean, what's it called? Fetish fetch. Because in Japanese, fetish is fetchy. I thought it was fetch. My next job will be 13 hours per day, so I won't be able to donate or be on stream anymore. So sad. My whole life will be work, which will be so weird. I don't want

your life necessarily, but I miss being unemployed. Haha. What about lunch break?

That was my favorite thing to do on YouTube, was

tell these stories where I've done bad things.

I find it hard to stop.

I've only noticed recently that I do this.

I love telling people about bad stuff I've done. I don't know, is it like bragging, or like I feel proud that I did it and got away with it? It's a bit weird.

I don't feel guilty.

I was at the dinner table a couple days ago with my sister, my brother-in-law, and they asked me

how come I lost my job at Every. And I said, they said that I'm a risk, security and theft risk. And they said,

um, did I steal anything? And I was like, yeah, stole loads of stuff. And then I quickly downplayed it. I was like, oh, it's just a Box of tissue.

I never stole nothing sharp.

Wasn't me.

Yeah, I don't blame those drivers stealing stuff. The pay is shit,

and then your vehicle gets wrecked.

Yeah, in Japan I stole from the guest house. This was early 2010s. They used to leave their parcels of Parcels would be left on a shelf in the lobby. People would just go and pick up their parcels. I would go down, like, pinch a couple here and there, and then next week I noticed they installed a camera

above the parcel area, and then I stopped doing it.

And one box had baby Johnson oil and a load of condoms, and another one had some makeup It was just boring stuff.

Yeah, well, I didn't like them anyway. Stupid guest house people gave me the stink eye and thought I was weird. I heard— overheard one of them talking shit about me. I was on my phone in the guest house in living room. And then for some reason the manager made us all leave the living room. So we were

all standing around in the corridor. And then I heard some European guy talking to the Australian guy who I was friends with. And then he was saying something like, have you noticed that Asian, that Asian guy? He's always on his phone. He doesn't talk to anyone.

He didn't realize that I was nearby and I could hear him. But the Australian guy backed me up. The Australian guy was like, oh, that's Daniel, he's okay once he's had a few beers. Just felt really awkward.

Yeah, I became— I started becoming very antisocial around 2016.

I kept going to guest houses Trying to relive the glory days. And I got more and more depressed each time I went back. I became more and more antisocial.

Stopped trying to, um— I ended up just sitting there by myself on my phone. People started thinking I was a weirdo. I hung out with that Iranian girl because she was also kind of weird.

We were both lonely and depressed in Japan. Like, we should have just fucked, but she was like, oh, I've got a boyfriend. Yeah, whatever, he won't know, would he?

I used to be very outgoing and social the first 3 times I went to the guest house. By time number 4 or 5, I was really depressed.

I just, I couldn't do it anymore.

It was nice first and second time. I had friend groups and we all hung out together

and I felt socially fulfilled. But as I got older, that didn't fulfill me anymore and I wanted something more intimate and special, like a girlfriend.

That's when I realized I don't— just having friends is not gonna cut it. I want a girlfriend

where we're special for each other and we hang out together. We don't need anyone else because we got each other.

I kind of got— I guess I got addicted to the feeling of having a girlfriend. The first time, second time, wasn't really experienced with having a girlfriend,

so having friends was exciting enough. But then I got a taste of having a girlfriend, and then going back to having friends just kind of paled in comparison.

Because nothing makes you feel more special than having a girlfriend.

Friends won't treat you that well.

Oh,

I still got a lot of gas in my stomach. It must be the beer-battered cod.

Oh, vomit in my mouth. My family obligations will be over. What would you recommend doing? I'm also pretty weird, but I'm GHA, so I don't care about getting girls. Other countries. What parts were actually fun?

What part of having a girlfriend is fun? Or what part of the world?

I don't know.

Up to you.

Who the hell is Rick?

Ah, I've got a toe now.

Little Toto now.

Toshiken's not— I think he's still outside.

He slept on the windowsill almost the whole night. I kept waking up at night and then seeing his silhouette by the window.

I meant what parts of visiting and living in other countries was actually fun. It kind of seems like you're not going to do it anymore, like you were sick of it. But for the first time, what might be fun about it if they're like 45 or so? What, 45?

Uh, I don't know, staying at a guest house and meeting lots of people and getting a girlfriend. That was the fun part. You never knew who you were going to meet next and what kind of effects they'll have on your life.

That's what I like. I like meeting people.

People come and go at the guest house. Like, my Korean girlfriend went back to Korea. Then this new Korean girl appeared. Her name was Min Kyung,

and we went on a few dates together.

She was friends of this other Korean guy, and she lived somewhere else, but she would come over to the guest house to visit,

and we would chat, and she would teach me Korean because I was really interested in learning Korean at the time.

It's really easy to make friends with people when you show an interest in their language because

then they teach you and you can practice with them.

Being interested in languages definitely made it easier

to gain their affection.

Yeah, then there's this Japanese girl called Aya. She was quite cute. We used to eat food together.

Yeah, I loved it. First time I went to a guest house in Japan.

Endless rotation of new people, but it's sad as well when people left.

And the atmosphere and the mood of the guest house would change as people left. The Canadian guys really made it fun, then they left.

New people came, but they weren't the same as the previous people.

Oh God, I suck. Bye.

Okay, but you lived in Korea and Thailand and America too. So did you not like those? You only mentioned Japan. I never lived in America.

In Korea and Thailand, I didn't have the guest house experience. I had girlfriend experience.

I think my stomach's starting to deflate. I might have a bath food tonight. I don't have many nights here left. I haven't had one bath food.

I think I'll end the stream in an hour and a half, 11 o'clock. Have bath, go bed. Gotta wake up early tomorrow,

going driving with my mum.

Well, wow. Thanks. LMEO Daniel would never live in America. He could never afford it. He'd be literally homeless on the street there. I'd live with an American girlfriend, but not very good for him. You think I'd go to America without a girl lined up? I'd only go if I had a girl lined up. Now I live at

her place.

But I never really got close to any American girl.

I wouldn't want to go to America anyway. Boring. I'd rather go to Japan. I never really met any American girls.

There were American guys at the guest house. I don't remember any American girls.

I remember there was a German girl.

Japanese girls, Taiwanese, a lot of Korean girls. I never remembered any American girls.

I can't name a single American girl that I've met,

not even Canadian girls. They were Canadian guys.

Yeah, I never met American girls.

Well, maybe there were some, but they were just so uninteresting and ugly. I never even bothered to remember they existed.

You could have met Medestia, but you called her a troll and deleted her. She's the funniest girl ever. How do you remember Melissa? She kept messaging me on Facebook, weird stuff. She was obviously a troll.

She's probably married with kids by now. It's been 8 years since those days. Most people have made big life changes in 8 years. Careers, marriages, kids.

Most of these girls have done something with their lives since then.

They will be in their 30s now if they were early 20s, mid-20s back then. Most will be nearing their mid-30s.

They're not gonna stay single doing nothing for their whole lives.

Yeah, probably the most interesting thing I've done in my life is all my Japan adventures, guest house adventures, and then ultimately ending in the marriage and divorce.

Bookmarking the end of my Japan days. I had a couple last, last few spurts in 2023 and '24, but I was kind of held back by having Fasta.

She probably held back a lot of stuff from happening. Like, I would have probably, I don't know, moved in with Mizuki for longer, stayed with that Korean woman for longer.

But things kept getting interrupted because of Farsta, and I didn't want to break up with her, so I had to abandon everything I was currently doing to stay with her.

It's funny because

I've felt constantly held back, first by the marriage and then by COVID and travel restrictions and then by Fasta. And when I finally got free, like now, I don't want to go anymore. I don't want to do that anymore.

I've got a car and I've got a house and stuff,

and it will just be bumming around in Japan like I'm 25 when I'm not.

It's not really a life you want when you're nearing 40.

When you get near 40, things like your parents aging happens and you feel like you want to spend more time with family. Maybe they would be funny. They would probably be good content for your channel too. Which of your exes was most like a troll? LOL. Milla. Milla. Chihiro. I guess Sunny was kind of a troll.

No, I don't want to date at all.

That's why I deleted my Instagram. I'm not dating a viewer again.

Yeah, when you reach my age, you start feeling like

time is finite.

Precious moments with your family are finite. Aren't gonna— you start when you're young, it feels like it's never gonna come to an end. Like you delude yourself into thinking everyone's gonna live forever,

and then you get older and you start realizing, oh shit, there will come a point when I won't be able to have these moments anymore.

And then you kind of regret not being around whilst you had the chance.

Sitting around in Asia doing fuck all doesn't sound like a great way to spend life.

If you're in your 20s, fine.

But it's like nearing your 40s,

you get different priorities.

All these moments are very fleeting. Everything can change in 5 years.

Every 5 years there's always some big, big shift, paradigm shift.

Like, I see my sister with the baby and my mom, makes me think 30 years ago my mom and dad were doing this very same thing with me and my grandmother. Like, my grandmother must have been very excited when I was a baby, all the uncles coming around.

There must have been like an air of excitement.

And now we're the uncles and we're the parents, and the parents are now the grandparents, and at some point we'll be the grandparents.

Life goes on, doesn't it?

Cycles on to the next cycle.

I mean, it was not even 25 years ago when my grandparents would have been around.

And my parents were young.

Time goes so quick.

All these people, one by one, start disappearing. First the grandparents, the great-uncles, the great-aunties, and then the uncles and aunties,

your own parents.

Life's harsh. It doesn't give a fuck about you. Time just carries on going.

Time doesn't care about you. Just keeps on marching on relentlessly.

Yeah, I think they want to move out of London.

London does not sound nice to raise a family. Maybe when you're young it's fun because you got all this stuff there and people.

And then you get old, you end up in Devon as a pensioner

driving 30 miles per hour on the 60 road, pissing off young hot Asian guys in their Peugeots. Get the fuck out of the road. 30 miles per hour on a 60 road? Are you joking?

One day you'll wake up in bed and you'll be like 70. You'll think, fuck, it's all over. My whole life just flashed before my eyes.

I still remember being a kid coming home from school, playing Xbox, fighting with parents, homework,

relationship drama, cats dying, grandparents gone, technology advancing.

What can you do though?

Reminisce.

In a way, I felt a bit sad I spent so much time in Japan,

didn't spend more quality time with my dad when he was around, like learning about cars or showing interest in stuff he was interested in.

I wonder if he would have gotten an EV, or would he be like my mum, stubborn?

My uncle got an EV. He got an MG imported from China ages ago. He got an EV before it became mainstream. Like before the mid-2010s. You got imported from China.

Bit of an ugly car though. I'm not a fan of MG.

MG is like what BYD is now. You don't really see a lot of MGs anymore. It's all BYD. I don't know, I see a few BYDs, not a lot. But it's all Tes— so many Teslas. Teslas everywhere.

Driving to that McDonald's in Maidstone, I saw probably 20 Teslas.

I had a red Tesla behind me on the way there.

Yeah, when I was young, I thought family's lame. I want my own life. I want independence.

Sick and tired of my parents. Been living with them my whole life.

I want to spread my wings.

But then you come back to your home nest to settle down, don't you?

It's like birds migrate back home for mating season.

I just love the idea of romanticizing the idea about having my own life far, far away in a different country

with a Japanese or Korean or, I don't know, Thai girlfriend.

I didn't want my life to be like my dad's, but now it's all different.

Now I do want a life like my dad's. I want a car and I want a house. I want maybe even a wife.

Like, you rebel against it so much when you're young and you end up becoming them anyway.

It's the cycle, the circle of life.

I don't know if I want a kid though. It looks like hard work every day. Feeding and changing

for years as well. How long is a baby a baby? Like 5 years?

What's the earliest you can expect them to start looking after themselves? Like 6 years old? I still remember being like 6 or 7 and my dad wiping my bum. I still remember being in the toilet, and after I did a poo, I would start going, Dad, I finished! How the fuck do I remember that? I must have

been way too old to not be wiping my own bum if I can remember that.

I actually still remember calling for my dad after I finished doing a poo.

That's kind of weird.

I didn't know I was supposed to do it myself.

I must have been at least 5 or 6 if I could remember it. What's your earliest memory?

I remember when I was a kid, Malaysian relatives constantly coming over from Malaysia.

I used to really enjoy it. I had a cousin, she used to go to Southampton University,

and she would come visit us and stay for the weekend.

Yeah, my Malaysian aunties would come with their kids, my cousins. We always had like 4 or 5 people staying in the guest room.

My rich uncle would come with fancy gifts like a digital camera.

Yeah, I had this uncle from Malaysia

He got me this Samsung digital camera with a screen and you put in an SD card. And then he got my sister like a little stopwatch, and then she got jealous because my present was way better.

It was like a 3-megapixel Samsung zoom camera. Compact camera. Still chunky little thing, but back in those days people were still using film cameras, so when digital cameras came, it was a big deal.

I remember my earliest nightmare. It was some kind of carnival and it had this maze, but it was like a trench. It wasn't like a hedge maze, it was like a trench network, and it was like a maze, and there was a dinosaur

and it was chasing me in the maze.

I remember that being really scary.

Maybe I was watching Jurassic Park too much.

Oh no, I think it was, uh, Land Before Time. I remember that was on the TV, and that was quite a scary cartoon to watch as a kid. Very dark. The sharp tooth

killed his mum,

and then they had to find where the grandparents were,

and they had the star leaf.

And apparently the girl that did the voice of the Triceratops, I think Uh, her dad went insane and killed her whole family, then shot himself

after that was made.

They— I don't know, I forgot. Hungarian immigrants to America, and the dad went crazy.

Land Before Time is good.

A lot of the children cartoons back then are really creepy, like Farthing Wood. Peter Rabbit was creepy as well. You had Farmer McGregor hunting them to put them in a pie, and then you had Watership Down, which was just terrifying.

The scenes in that were just crazy. For a kid to be watching it.

Like when— hey, what was his name— Fiver had psychic abilities. He could like predict the future, and he has these visions of the burrow being dug up and destroyed by humans.

And from the rabbit's perspective, it was like this hellscape, Earth being ripped up. And then from the human's perspective, it's just like a bit of construction work,

and then they all got gassed in the burrow. And Fiver convinces a bunch of them to run away and find a new home.

It's such a good movie.

Yeah, I really like Watership Down.

Uh, it was sad at the end. Hazel dies of old age, and then his ghost jumps off away with that rabbit god,

and then they play that Simon and Garfunkel song, Bright Eyes. It's like his— he did his duty. Found a new home, had kids, grew old.

It's all you can hope for when you reach the end of your life, that you did your best, provided, created a family for the next generation.

Built something, passed it on.

Life's so sad, isn't it?

40 more years, I'll be 70.

Do you think I would have made it as a day trader? Imagine I'm 70, I'm still like Guys, I can do it! I'm so close to being breakeven. My shorts are nearly back green.

NASDAQ's like 60,000 and I'm still short. I'm down like £20,000.

It's gonna crash any moment. That would be funny. The problem with investing is it's easy to say, I'm just gonna buy and hold for 30 years. Yeah, until it comes a moment where you need the money.

Like I needed the money to pay off the credit cards.

It's hard to just set the money aside and not touch it.

You never know what life throws at you.

Pushkin was sleeping on my laptop last night.

I closed the lid and went to bed, and he was sleeping on top of it. Maybe it was warm.

It was covered in hair.

Yeah, I might make $70 today.

Why? What's the second post?

What's my superpower?

Vomiting in my mouth. Oh,

my stomach.

I always overeat when I get fish and chips. Because it tastes so good. Even when you're full, you keep on eating it because I don't want to waste it. And the portion's so big. The fish is massive.

More batter than fish.

Clip of you cross-dressing. That must have been ages ago.

Was it in Manchester?

10 o'clock. I don't

know when I'm returning to Devon. I might come back here after the hotel. I'm not sure yet.

I just don't see a point in going back to Devon, to be honest.

And I think things in the house will be quieter next week as well, because my sister's going back to London.

Maybe I'll just come back here.

All right, what's the point going back to Devon? There's no point at all.

The hotel is halfway in between Devon and here,

so I thought I'd just go to the hotel and then come back here the next day.

Let's ditch the house.

I just feel way more comfortable here.

Have I come here? No.

I want privacy.

I want to be able to walk around naked and stuff.

It's not 200 a night, it's 100.

And it's not every day, is it?

Uh, we stayed in a lodge last time. I wanted to book it again, but they're fully booked. That lodge was nice.

Yeah, there was like a decking porch area. We sat out there with a spliff.

I got high.

I started making that stupid face like

Like that. I can't stop it. I get a weird face spasm when I'm high.

I keep thinking, don't do the face, don't do the face, and then I do it.

And then I get naked.

Yeah, I feel like my face is having a stroke. It all starts drooping. It feels like it's drooping. I don't know if it actually is.

I get the pink eye.

And then the next time I just had one puff And it was a lot better. I didn't feel that impending doom in my face.

I'm very weak to it.

嗯。 哒 哒 哒 哒， 哒 哒 哒， 哒 哒 哒 哒， 哒 哒 哒。

Debout.

Mum says daughter who died on the M5 was failed.

Tamzin Hall was being transported in a police car when she fled and was hit by a car on the M5 in Somerset.

What, she was in the police car? I don't understand.

What, she was hit by a car and then she fled, and then she was in the police car and died in the police— I don't understand that sentence. She was being transported in a police car when she fled and was hit by a car on the M5.

Died after fleeing a police vehicle despite being handcuffed and having an officer sit beside her. She was struck by a car on the M5.

She was handcuffed in the back of the police vehicle.

嗯。

Have a look at the bathtub.

I hope it's clean.

It's got the baby thing in it.

I had a bath in here with Mila. I sat like that and she sat on top of me.

Ow,

hot.

It's not very clean.

I forgot how to make the shower work.

This thing's leaking.

I

need

a cup.

I'm

seeing—

I don't have a bath. Cobwebs are in it.

Cobwebs everywhere.

Okay, let's clean.

And it's

Trim my pubic hair.

Hey, hey, hey, my stomach is so full up.

My stomach.

I wish I had a bathtub in my Devon house.

Would you like my new iPhone? They call it the Air. iPhone Air.

Air. Bet you're jealous you don't have one.

Can play Resident Evil 2 on it.

Yeah, they haven't updated the street map outside my house since my dad was alive, so 2016.

Who was it that found those really old maps on Google Earth? It was like 1960 aerial map before this house was built.

I

didn't do any trades today.

I want to go long, but down there at this line.

Could take a while to get down there.

It nearly got down there today and then it bounced. I want to go along there

and then exit there at that gray line. My short is down there.

I'm down 250.

£60. The £60 is because this 257 used to be -300. Now it's only -257.

What happened to that Jackmate guy? He used to be really popular. He hasn't uploaded in 3 years.

I just suddenly remembered him.

What the fuck do my neighbors think right now, by the way? I've not got a dog dick dildo.

And this is gonna be stuck inside you, and you two are gonna be literally inseparable. Until this swelling goes down and he can slip back out. And he can slip back out of you. Okay, okay, good point. I'm making notes to make it next time. He had a messed up jaw and he got it fixed with surgery.

He had like no chin jaw. And then that makes that thing become a turn-on for that person. That's not how turn-ons work. For example, I'm straight, okay? So the thought of popping a knob in my cock does very little for It's basically a gay guy came up to me and went, oh Jack, come on, a dick in

the mouth is actually a turn-on. I wouldn't suddenly be like, oh, I'm actually turned on by the thought of sucking a dick now. I wouldn't then start slamming in knots willy-nilly, do you know what I mean? Like a packet of Smints. I just say something's a turn-on and then have that thing become a turn-on for that person.

That's not how the world works. And if it is how the world works and I've got it wrong and my girlfriend's watching this, Fiona, it's actually Turn on to have a threesome with Marco and Robbie? I don't, I don't, I don't know how it works. He talks too much.

He needs to shut the fuck up.

Wonder why he quit. Maybe he just got bored.

Argos Shop Deck Toys and More.

Go out there, Jesse. Jesse will do well, but he's not going to score 9 in 10. That's in— that's not— that's not possible. So at this point, I was very relaxed. I knew that my body was safe from the tattoo gun until Jesse Lingard turned into fucking Messi Lingard. He started with a goal against

Leeds. Then he went on to score this banger against Arsenal,

and then even through

Why is this guy's teeth— I didn't realize they look kind of weird, like they're all flaying outwards.

He's such a goofy looking guy.

Looks like those goblins from Lord of the Rings,

like if they just put some makeup on and

they have the pointy ears. It looked just like one of those orc goblins.

No.

Wow, a gory Wolverine. That looks pretty cool.

I always hated how Wolverine was not more gory. Now they finally made him really gory because you do some disgusting damage with those claws. Damn, this game looks pretty good.

Look at the blood.

New user, get 10% off hotels. Book your dream getaway with Trip.com unbeatable hotel deals. Download the Trip.com app now.

You're under no obligation to do this, but would you mind submitting yourself to a test of your deductive reasoning skills? Sure, why not? Sounds like fun. All right then, we can begin by taking a look at these photographs

of 3 notes written by prison inmates while under Tiras control just prior to their deaths. None of this information has been made public. You can take as long as you want to look them over. Please let me know what you think. Very interesting. Saying.

It would be quite amazing to learn that not only could Kira kill others but could also control his victim's actions. I think Kira wrote these, and it seems he's encoded a message for you as well, almost as if he's mocking you. If you line these notes up side by side and take a look at the first letter

of every line, it reveals a message. Rearranging it like this gives you, L, do you know gods of death love apples?

But there are obvious print numbers on the back of all these photographs. Arrange it in that order, we get L, do you know, love apples, gods of death.

That doesn't sound right. And based on that, it's hard to believe that Kido would have wanted you to read it this way. That's incorrect.

The thing is, there were actually 4 photographs. When we add this one, it reads, L, do you know gods of death who love apples have red hands?

But seeing as I only had 3 photographs to work with, my deduction was perfect. No, it wasn't. The truth is there were 4 of them. If you'd figured that out, it would have been perfect. Even though you knew the message was incomplete, you decided that there were only 3 notes. You never even considered that there might be

a 4th. What do you make of that?

Well, you got me there. I didn't think of that. In any case, the likelihood this message will lead you to Kira is not very great. Besides, we all know gods of death don't exist. If you were me, faced with someone who might be Kira, how would you go about establishing this person's innocence or guilt? You need to

be absolutely sure. I would probably try to get him to say something that was never made public in any way, something that only Kira could know. This is Kraken. The easy

Look at this photograph. It's a photo of a photograph. There's another freaking photograph because I photographed a photograph. So many photographs makes me want to take a photograph. I should probably Probably take a photograph next to my photo of a photograph.

Look at this photograph, every time I do it makes me laugh. Hear the sounds of the nighttime dance, all the girls running down in my path.

But back to that photograph, it reminds me of the

Blue

eyes, firm hands, nice legs.

Body, drinking his protein shakes, spray tan, skin cream, body's like he was 18. He's a peacekeeping machine and he stares into the mirror, flexing muscles in the night. And he says, boy, I think you're ready to protect some human

rights. When this war at all is held, bring into England the United Nations superhuman.

My life is so successful, I got everything a man could ever need.

I got a $1,000 haircut and I even have a talk show on TV,

and I know I should be happy, but instead there's a question I can't get out of my head.

What's the meaning of Stonehead? It's killing me that no one knows why it was built 5,000 years ago. Why did they build the Stonehenge?

How could they raise the stones so high completely without the technology?

We have to die.

I'm the king.

My wife applauds me in the kitchen when I tell her all I bought is from the local store.

And when the kids have gone to bed, we're She gives me a smile, then she plays with my balls.

But all I think of is Stonehenge.

I think about it when I dream. The biggest head that I have ever seen. What's the purpose of Stonehenge? A giant granite birthday cake or a prison far too easy to escape.

Stonehenge, Stonehenge, lots of stones they knocked down. 5 tons each stone, my friend, but amazingly they got them all down in the sand and they moved it And they're graving stone and they're rolling 46 miles from where you—

What's the deal with stone? What's the deal? What's the deal? What's the deal? You should have left the tiny hint when you made this fucking labyrinth of stone. Who the fuck builds a stone hint? The Stone Age guys wondering what to do. Who'd just say, dude, let's build a hand job too? I would give anything to know

about the Stone Age. Yeah, I would give all I had. A cow? Would you give them your cow? Are you kidding me? Of course I would have gave them a cow. What country did the guys come from? Hell insists he is confused.com, and the weight of car insurance burdens

her no more.

Mom, Helen, her daughter.

Come with me, girl. I want to take you to a place where it's just you and me. To my cabin.

Let me take you to my favorite place, just a 5-hour drive. From the city,

just follow the road until it stops and then keep walking for another 40 minutes.

Then out of nowhere, there it is. Right now it's icy cold, but in 16 hours it's gonna be hot. I'm gonna make you dinner, baby. I hope you like spaghetti.

Then we do the dishes manually with over 15 different kinds of cutlery. Yeah, it's brand new, it's a heaven on earth, a tiny little paradise. That's my own Private time would die in my heart except for the shape and the size. The cabin where I come to relax. The cabin where the same pants for

a week. The cabin I've got skis on my walls cuz I can't breathe.

One day this place will be mine, only shared with my brother, sister, father, uncle, and his lover. And if you like to piss outside, this is definitely the place for you, cuz I've been pissing over here and pissing over there. One time I even pissed over here. But you should never ever shit outside. We have a small

separate cabin for that kind of stuff. We can hang stuff on a wall together as long as it's copper or dead anymore. Dead anymore. Who put that man on the wall? Dad, Dad, is that you? Who put my dad inside the wall? Dad, Dad, don't you worry. I'm gonna get you out of here. Oh, it's a big

chance.

Fucking ads every fucking video.

You're amazing, don't you think?

So incredibly talented.

So many hits on YouTube.

So many things to live up to.

They're amazing, don't you think?

My 2 older brothers, they've had a wonderful career.

But I was never asked to join them.

Oh God, how can it be?

Those assholes did not ask me.

I will never be a star.

I will never have a blues concert, never perform with an audience. I'll never stand on stage.

I wouldn't have enough to do. Yes, I would fuck Anyway,

I will never be a star. I have some tricks up my sleeve. How I wish that I can show them. I spin a pen around my thumb and then I grab it with my index. I want to show it, but I know I can't cause the loud

That's why I'll never be a star.

Okay, listen

up everyone. I know you enjoyed my tantrum. And it's real easy, you can learn it too. Just go to YouTube and search for Patrick. That's what I did. I will never be a star,

you better believe it, 'cause I mean it. I will never be, I will never

I,

I know how to tie

every kind of knot.

Except one. It's so hard to grade us not a ball. So flexible and strong, but I do something wrong.

I know the bowline, she's attacking me double overhead.

But the trucker's hitch, I just don't understand.

Let's do the trucker's hitch.

The trucker's hitch.

I really like to sail

just to see the wind and me, but whenever

I adjust my sail,

try to loosen it up while I'm ducking My boat I bail.

I know the square knot to go, here's the double shoelace bow.

But the trucker's hitch is all I need to know.

Let's do the trucker's hitch.

The Dr. Nick Show.

Let's do the Dr. Nick Show. The Dr. Nick Show.

People of the world, the time has come. To tie this knot once and for all. Bonitas, show me the ropes on every dance floor across the world. Let's do the Drunkard's Hitch. Are you ready? Let's tie this knot. Tie, tie, tie,

tie, tie. This is how you do it. Bring it up, check the rope, spin around on the neck, whip it, whip it, take it home. Bring it up, spin it down, shoulder, mouth, make the loop, pull it, spin it, push it through. Up, stretch, down again, in the face, elbow pad, lift, pull it, bring it around, tie,

tie, tie and tie. Kick the heels, swivel time, round, round, back to Come on, pull the loop down and through. Pull again, lift the head through the loop. Make a stitch. Now you've got your trucker's hitch. There was no other way. The world had to be fixed. A purpose given to me. Who else could have done it

and come this far? Would they have kept going? The only one who can create a new world Is me here? No, you're just a murderer like Yagami, and this notebook is the deadliest weapon of mass murder in the history of mankind.

You yielded to the power of the Shinigami in the notebook, and you have confused yourself with a god. In the end, you're nothing more than a crazy serial killer. That's all you are, nothing more. And nothing less. Useless fools, as if they could ever understand.

There was no— I was getting bored anyway. I'll humor you. Take it as my appreciation for that lousy apple. I'll tell you the story of a human I once knew, one who tried to change the world and become God.

Everyone's scared of love, dipshit. You learn that in your 20s. It takes a very rare, very powerful being to be terrified of happiness. Dumb. You're dumb. That's why you're not scared to be happy. The smart— think me so-called— Did you know L had 2 other successors before Near and Mello? The first successor was known as A. A,

if you want to be a published mangaka, you have— If you don't obey me, I can easily kill you. If you do any Anything that results in this girl's death, the first thing I'll do is write your name in my Death Note. I will kill you. But if you were to use your— What is it, Mr. Yagami?

Is that a pellet? It's a windmill. You think it should be against the law for someone to come into America without permission? Yes, I do. Okay, what should the punishment be? I think it depends on the reason. What the fuck are you saying? It's the most bizarre headline. Like, how is America racist? Are you familiar at all

with the concept of structural racism? They're 19 and trading on their phones while you're still chasing paychecks at 50. Disappear from social media. Wow, wow, wow, we've come a long ways. Look at this, we're almost to the top. Look at the mayor of London, Sadiq Khan, responded to your plans today and he says thousands of Londoners have

indefinite leave to remain. They have legal rights and are our friends, neighbors, and colleagues. He goes on to say threatening to deport people living and working here legally is unacceptable. What's your response? What about the ones that aren't working? What about the ones that have never worked and never will work? What about having an honest debate about

those we've let into this country, many of whom are great people? Fine, we understand that, but too many of whom are not. You just sent the most powerful minister to bed without his. Supper. You're a fool if you believe he's the most powerful man in Westeros. Joffrey is king. You really think a crown gives you power? No,

you really think a crown gives you power? Gives you power? Robb Stark had one, never lost a battle, and you defeated him all the same. Oh, I know, Walder Frey gets all the credit, all the blame, I suppose, depending on your allegiance. All Defray is many things, but a brave man? No. He never would have risked such

an action if he didn't have certain assurances. Which he got from me. Do you disapprove? I'm all for cheating. This is war. But to slaughter them at a wedding? Explain to me why it is more noble to kill 10,000 men in battle than a dozen at dinner. So that's why you did it? To save lives? To end

the war, to protect the family. You want to write a song for the dead Starks? Go ahead, write one. The Northerners will never forget. Good. Let them remember what happens when they march on the South. My hands are registered as lethal weapons. That means we get into a fight, I accidentally kill you, I go to jail. Anybody

accidentally kills anybody in a They go to jail. It's called manslaughter. I think all that lethal weapon horseshit is just an excuse so you dancers never have to get in a real fight.

Okay, how about a friendly contest? No punching in the face. 2 out of 3. Who puts who on the ground first? Nobody tries to hurt nobody, just who ends up on their butt.

That's a great idea, Cato.

You know, Bruce, that guy's kind of famous. That guy? For what? Why does he look like Mount Rushmore Bruce Lee? That guy? That Not bad, Cato.

Try that again.

Do you remember what day it is today? Oh my God, baby, today is your birthday! I was so engrossed in King Shot. The most romantic game shutdown ever. This This game was slowly dying with every patch. Hustle, hustle. A good portion of our— I can't make an album right now. It strikes me that we do have a

darkening economic situation. Inflation is a lot more persistent than anybody thought it was going to be. The government's ability to borrow, issuing gilts, becoming more and more expensive with almost every week that goes by. But here's my problem with it. You know, 2 Fridays ago I got my pension statement through. I looked through it and it said

from 2027 that this pension pot of mine will be subject to inheritance tax. And I thought, why the hell did I bother? Why did I bother all through the '90s and the early noughties to put money aside every year? Didn't buy new cars, didn't go to Barbados, thinking not only is it a pension for me If I

drop down dead, tensions are down. And I think if they were to do these things in this budget, it is a direct attack on thrift. Would either of you name one positive thing that you respect in one another?

Look, I respect his children. His children are Incredibly able and devoted, and I think that says a lot about Donald. I don't agree with nearly anything else he says or does, but I do respect that. Esther Trump. Well, I consider her statement about my children to be—he looks so much younger. I don't know if it was meant

to be a compliment. I'm very proud of my children. I will say this about Hillary. She doesn't quit. She doesn't give up. I respect that. She's a fighter. I disagree with much of what she's fighting for, but she does fight hard and she doesn't quit and she doesn't give up. And I— hey mate, quick question.

All I do is kettlebells. The heaviest weight I do is 70 pounds. I start with cold plunge. Every workout's 3 minutes, 34 degrees. Boom. Go from there. 20 body weights, squat, 20 push-ups, 20 bodyweight squats, 20 push-ups. You do 2 sets in a row so you get warm up. Then you do the final 3, you get to

100 push-ups, 100 bodyweight squats. Then it's kettlebells. 10 swings each arm, 3 sets. 10 presses each arm, 3 sets. 10 windmills each arm, 3 sets. 10 renegade rows each arm. Then you go to the Tabatas on the heavy bag. I've been doing that whole routine for so long that my body is like All night. This is fine

work. It's not for sale. Boy, this is the king's hand. I made it for me. Give him, my lord. There's nothing to forgive. My lord, I came to visit you. I loved it, Mr. Hitler. Super good, Mr. Hitler. Wenn Sie mich ansprechen, sagen Sie Mein Führer. Verstanden? Haben Sie keinen Respekt vor Autorität? Hier wacht ik weer een

uitblik in een heus verraderisch geist. I am so sorry, my Führer. Zit hij in een idioot? No, my Führer. Zit hij in een verkleide schokken? Een jude? Een verrader is een jude! No, no, my Führer. I'm from Arizona. Oh, ik weet het.

That was weird. Terrible mayor.

Terrible, terrible mayor, and it's been so changed. If I look forward to having any kids, question: Are you saying that everybody who's been granted Eilat is comfortable? If you were to moderate a— Gentlemen, I have no intention of killing Hitler and killing Goebbels and killing Göring and killing Bormann, not to mention winning the war single-handedly for the

Allies, only later to find myself standing before a Jewish tribunal.

If you want to win the war,

Tonight, we have to make a deal.

What kind of deal? The kind you wouldn't have the authority to make. However, I'm sure this mission of yours has a commanding officer, a general. I'm betting for OSS would be my guess.

Ooh, that's a bingo! Is that the way you say it? That's a bingo? You just say bingo. Bingo! How fun, gentlemen! I've been waiting for you. Square root of 58,639. Now. 242. 242 what? Point 1549090. Yes, child's play. Try me. Go on, same number squared.

3,438,532,321. Thrashed you. Combinatorics, that's what I do. Bloody nerve of you both. You fail on primes and you think you can just turn around and crack partitions. Can't be done, especially not by you. Can, and I will. No, I will, by hand. Whatever formula you two can dream up will be quite wrong, and you can crawl back

under whatever rock you came from in India. Oh, racist. Now, how high do I have to go? Be of 200 should do. I really can do it. Your son has no claim to the throne. Liar! You condemn yourself with your own mouth. Stark. Ser Barristan seized this traitor. Ser Barristan is a good man, a loyal man. Do

him no harm.

You think he stands alone?

Kill him! Kill all of them, I command it! Commander, take the Queen and her children into custody. Escort them back to the royal apartments and keep them there under guard. Men of the Watch!

I want no bloodshed. Tell your men to lay down their swords. No one needs to die.

No, I

did warn you not to trust me. Your son hasn't— what the fuck is it? Would I work with him again? How is your relationship with— Choose your next words carefully. I'll give you £1,000 right now if you could tell me the US citizen that was deported under Donald Trump.

This is how we recognize— All right, now you, are you, are you following this? Glad to see you're protecting the throne. Sturdy old thing. How many kings' asses have polished it, I wonder? And what's the line? The king shits and the Hand wipes. Very handsome armor. Not a scratch on it. I know. People have been swinging at

me for years. They always seem to miss. Chosen your opponents wisely, then. I have a knack for it.

Must be strange for you coming into this room. I was standing right here when it happened. He was very brave, your brother. Your father too. He didn't deserve to die like that. But you just stood there and watched. 500 men just stood there and watched. All the great knights of the Seven Kingdoms. You think if anyone said

a word, lifted a finger? No, Stark. When I watched the Mad King die, I remembered him laughing as your father burned. It felt like justice. Is that what you tell yourself at night? You're servants of justice?

Read the chat, please. Half of Dogtown's chasing raw—

I don't buy assembly, reassembly. They said he had a screwdriver up. The terrifying thing is, and women should know this, is like the guys that are just out for a good time, they're not much fun. Do you want to have— That's it. And the king has no trueborn sons. Joffrey and Tommen are Jaime Lannister's bastards. So when

the king dies, the throne passes to his brother, Lord Stannis. So it would seem, unless— There is no unless. He is the rightful heir. Nothing can change that. And he cannot take the throne without your help. You would be wise to deny it to him and make sure Joffrey succeeds. You are now Hand of the King and

Protector of the Realm. All of the power is yours. You need only reach out, make peace with the Lannisters, release the Imp, wed your daughter to Joffrey. We've plenty of time together. What you listening to, son?

Loyalty is the chain that feels like honor.

My real fear is that they're going to invent a better eye for blind people, and I can't believe how much my car is worth after the accident. So here's a little recap on what happened to my car. So I was traveling in lane 1, lorry was in lane 2. He started changing lanes, didn't see me, and this

is me. Oh my God, I forgot he was gonna do that. I actually forgot why I left the car here. To show you guys a comparison of what the left-hand side of the car looks like. This is how it was supposed to look. All this lovely— this is how it was supposed to open. Okay, so the car

insurance accident claim has Finally been settled. It took a minute, and it's not my fault. The third-party car insurance has full liability, and they will fix my car. Why don't you read the shirt off for everybody? Oh, my shirt! Why don't you read the shirt off for everybody? Oh, my shirt, everybody! My shirt says Charlie Kirk. It's

got Dean and Parker on it. Is math a disgust? This is why a restaurant Spaghetti is better than.

Sneaky axes are actually finesse weapons in fantasy fiction. What is your family's real? Slam the biggest asteroid in the solar system into Earth. All right. I was literally starting to think that maybe I wrote a part that was unplayable, and there was one morning I called the.

Holy shit, I tanked it down to 44 viewers.

Damn.

Bath time.

It's gonna be good.

Damn, I don't want to go back to my stupid boring cold house in Devon anymore.

What am I gonna do?

I feel way more comfortable here.

Feels like, why did I even leave in the first place?

Massive waste of money and time.

Oh, I'm gonna have my bath. Good night.