Treating my Wife to a Luxurious $300 camping trip in the Japanese countryside

She dropped her phone on the train track. What are you doing? Where is it?

You dropped your phone.

Oh no.

Is it broken?

No.

Hi!

Look where we are! Our new home! Ta-da! Let me in. Why did you close it? There's 4 beds. Why are there so many beds? Our new home.

What's in there?

These handles are weird. It's like a belt. There's a fridge. Open the fridge. Beer.

This is all free.

Free? Yeah.

Beer.

It kind of looks like a golf course. Why does it look like a golf course? Look, it's like a golf course. Actually, it looks like that Teletubbies Um, don't really know what to do now. I think we're going to walk around, have a look around, and then I don't know, maybe go canoeing. There's a canoe. This is nice. It's so nice here. It's so quiet and peaceful. We're in— where are we? Some prefecture near Nagoya. Shiga? Saga? Can't remember.

Shiga.

Don't fall in! She wants to go canoeing. We've got 2 paddles, canoe paddles, and he said to wear the life jackets. Do we really need life jackets? And there's, there's a barbecue thing over there. I don't know if we're allowed to use it or if they come and cook for us. Where can we get meat? Barbecue. And there's a little lamp. Well, it's not little, it's pretty big. What else is there? Uh, that's it really. It's quite nice. It's a bit windy today and it looks like it might start raining. Is it gonna rain? It feels like a typhoon is coming.

What's that?

This is a good thumbnail, actually. We should get one for our apartment. Swinging chair. I want to try walking on the grass. It tickles. It's been such a long time since I've stepped on grass. I think it's been a couple of months since I last saw grass. Ah, it's very nice. This grass is so much better than the grass we have back in England because the garden at my mum's house is just all covered in rabbit poo and holes and stinging nettles and insects. I want to get on the canoe. If I drop my phone into the water, that won't be very good. I've never been canoeing before. I think this is a good idea. You can row for me. Wait, I want to get on. Where are you going?

Come back.

Come back. Why are you leaving without me? Oh, the water smells funny.

Be careful.

This is scary, it's so wobbly. Stop rowing it into the side. You're going to crash. You're going to hit that thing. Stop, stop, stop, stop. You're gonna hit it.

I can't.

Very nice.

What?

Oh, we're gonna crash.

Yeah. Oh, I can't get up.

It keeps moving. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go!

Small, small.

How come they have a really nice cabin? Look, they have a really big cabin. We just have a little tent. How much? How much for the little cabin behind us?

Cabin? $500,000.

$500,000, quite expensive. Those clouds look pretty scary. Is it going to rain? I think it's going to rain soon. Imagine how bad it would be if we spent all this money to come here and then it starts raining and then we have to stay inside the tents and we can't go exploring. That would be pretty bad. I don't even know if there's much to explore anyway. There's a map, but there isn't really much here. There's just a lake in the middle and there's some footpaths. Put it in the hole. Why is it so complicated?

This side.

Give me your ice cream.

It's melting.

My one's better. Vinegar apple drink. Thank you very much.

4 tastes, be careful.

Tennis. Coming up.

It's raining.

Ruined our camping trip. It's raining. Don't be sad. It's raining.

Raining. Raining very soft.

Hmm, my wife went to the onsen, so I'm all by myself now. And it's still raining, and I think you can hear the thunder. Not great weather. I don't think we planned this very well because we paid quite a lot of money to stay here for one night, and we can't even go outside because it's pouring down with rain. You left me alone with her. I was waiting. It was so awkward. I was just sitting in the corner while she was cooking and you were gone. I was just getting some stuff. How could you? It was so awkward.

What?

I can't hear a thing you're saying. I just pretended I couldn't speak Japanese and then she didn't say anything. I said I can't speak Japanese and then I said my wife is in the onsen and then she said okay. Oh, it was like torture. Bloody hell. Why do they serve dinner so early? It's only 6. Anyway, we have beef on a metal stick, bread, salad, and there's, um, a little dish of something, and then there's soup. They don't give you much, should I— there's only 3 pieces of meat. Smells good though. There's hardly any meat. There's only 3 pieces of meat and then there's a big pot of seafood. I don't like seafood. I want more beef. And where are the chips?