Kick Livestreams/back [4e45f510-0907-4c7d-bd53-48061230042c] 480p

I

fell asleep.

On the sofa. Oh, it was so nice. I fell asleep for like an hour. I was just curled up in the corner like that. Fastest hour ever.

God.

Oh yeah, coffee.

Maybe a little 1-hour nap could be good. I mean, the Japanese do it, don't they? Nap during work.

Why don't I have bread?

I stopped buying bread because it kept going moldy.

Everyone drinking coffee. Everyone. That's the problem with bread. They sell too much of it all at once. It takes me ages to finish it. It starts going moldy. Why can't they sell less of it?

Like smaller portion.

Oh, what's

up?

I've got this new game. It might get some views. It's called Escape from Dakov. It's like an indie parody of that Escape from Tarkov game. Apparently it had more players than Battlefield 6. Briefly.

Seems funny.

It only cost £15.

Yeah, I've got a bonsai.

I've never played an extraction shooter before.

I make a video saying,

as an avid fan of Tarkov, this game's rubbish,

and then I list all the reasons why it's rubbish, but then those are the reasons why Tarkov would be fun.

Ah, God, this soup's so nice.

I had the best 1-hour nap.

I had a wank and then I fell asleep

and I woke up and then I wanked again.

Yeah, I looked prone.

Who's this girl getting DP'd?

Crazy. For some girls, one dick's not enough.

I don't get it. So Do women like anal?

Because I never met a girl who wanted to do anal. They always seem scared of it,

but then in the porn it looks like they're enjoying it.

So what's the problem? Are they just scared?

Are women in the porn like anal, but in real life they don't?

Well, maybe in evolutionary science. In a situation where there are no women,

men will take on the role of a woman

and be impregnated through the anus.

Maybe at one point there were no women. And there were only men, and human beings recreated through anal sex with other men. And then after time passed,

the, um, birth-given men evolved into women, losing their penises.

But retaining the nipple.

But that's just a theory,

a game theory.

Pan home soup.

What's that?

Uh,

uh,

check my new video.

800 views. Nice.

People love criticizing my financial decisions.

Stop buying stuff on Amazon. Move back in with your mum. You shouldn't have bought a car.

Why don't you get a job? Ignoring the fact that this kick thing pays more money than a job does. Fucking morons.

I make more money now than I would if I got a job.

I mean, what job gonna pay two thousand eight hundred a month?

I can't get anything more than minimum wage. How am I going to get a job doing more than minimum wage? One one one one one.

Ah, I feel rejuvenated from that nap. I might start doing it, actually. I might start having naps every day. I was very anti-napper.

I used to be like, imagine having a nap like you're an old granny. I can't nap during the day because it makes me sleep less at night. Now I'm thinking, actually,

might not be a bad idea. I feel pretty good now.

All right,

soup done. Coffee.

Oh, that's good coffee.

Ah.

Oh yeah, uh, so nice

and warm in my house.

£2.50 a day for

my heating. Ah,

why does more vape come out the mango one?

Margarita, caffeine, and then, and then gaming.

This is the life. It's like Lord of the Rings after they defeated Sauron— I mean Saruman, whatever the fuck the White Wizard's name was. And then Merry and Pippin sitting there enjoying some smoked ham and a pipe.

That's called winning at life.

No GF. Yeah, well, what

are you gonna do? She doesn't want to come meet me.

Find other vices. I've got my right hand, I've got my porno.

Getting the YouTube channel back on track, back to 10K views per 48 hours, back up to 5K views.

No TV, shouldn't break up me.

I am experimenting with it,

doing stream videos.

I'm gonna play some Escape from Duckhof in a minute. I've gotta make a video.

Uh, uh, uh,

how much money did I make?

Oh yeah, $40.

Did she message you? Yeah, she messaged me an hour ago. I didn't reply.

I'm busy with my exciting life.

See how she likes it.

Why did I drop Hide in My Room brand? So if she does find my channel, it's not called Hide in My Room and she won't Google Hide in My Room,

and then the subreddit won't show up. Genius.

And then stupid morons are like, oh, the archive. I don't fucking care you got the fucking archive. No, how— okay, how'd you find the archive then? Google Hide My Room archive. There's a chart. No.

I've

had the nicest nap.

So relaxing.

The feeling of no pressure of having to go to work, go outside.

I'll miss this if it ever goes.

You Googled it? What, hiding in my room archive? Okay, what if you search Expert Zone Review archive? Why, why the fuck would you randomly search for archive anyway? I mean, how would you know there's an archive unless you specifically search for the archive?

What's in the archives? Nothing. It's just my old videos. I don't care about the old videos.

Bah.

No one's sitting there on a Sunday afternoon reverse image searching people's faces like a freaking fucking doxxing stalking fucking weirdo. Only you fucking freaks do that stuff. Normal people don't do this.

Only fucking loser freaks like Sneed and Vishy do sit around like reverse image searching and archiving stuff and trying to dox people. This is not what normal people do, it's what you fucking loser internet people do.

In the real world, people don't do this freak activities.

Oh, Moises got the OG badge!

Now I got to fucking type in /OG.

How do you all not have it yet? Now I got to type out your whole name. Oh, fuck. Am I done?

Why do I separate myself from the freaks? Because I don't sit here trying to dox people. And reverse image searching people, because I don't give a fuck about who you people are. I got no interest in doxxing you or being a weird creepy fucking stalker.

I might not have a life, but at least I got a life.

You people like, oh, his email address got leaked. Yeah, who fucking cares?

Okay, let's play some Tarkov. I'm getting hot now.

Pay, paparapay, paparapay, pay, paparapay.

Ah.

Okay, bear demoted. Ranks revoked.

Play some Duck of

Oh God, that was a nice nap. Oh yeah, sure. What'd you do?

Graphics pretty cool.

Okay, so playing Escape from Duckov. Is that— what's that? Little doggy. So what, I'm a duck with no face?

Wow, I get to design my duck head size. It looks like a penis.

Tiny head, big head. What head shape?

Eyes. Wow.

One eye.

Eyebrow.

Oh God, I'm getting sick. Why is the camera like swaying around?

Eyebrow size. I actually don't want any eyebrows.

Crest. Oh cool, it looks like a chicken beak. Ah, his beak.

Look at his beak.

I'll go for that one.

Whoa, look at the size of the beak!

Look, look at that.

What? Uh, maybe a normal size beak.

That's, that's nice.

Uh, that looks like something else.

Okay,

this is such a weird

thing to be able to customize. How do I— okay, wings.

This is normal wings.

Wing color, red.

Can I make him yellow like a yellow duckling?

Oh, you can. Whoa,

why does the yellow look kind of greenish?

Normal color, I guess.

Tail.

Okay.

Oh no, I lost it all.

How do I undo that?

Ah,

I gotta do it again. I want the pointy beak.

Give me the shoes.

Okay,

whatever. Yeah, okay, come on.

I wish you could zoom in and out. Oh, it makes me sick when you move the camera about.

So you got loot,

backpack,

you got a gun.

Whoa, whoa, he dead.

I don't like the camera, it makes me feel sick.

Aspirin.

Come on, reload.

Why is he not reloading? I'm gonna die.

What?

He didn't shoot the gun.

Well, I got to loot it all over again. Uh,

I

got a melee thing too.

Isn't there a loot all button?

How'd you just take all of it?

Oh, I can get my stuff back.

Oh, he dead, he dead.

So how do I heal?

I don't know how to heal.

What's this?

Extracting.

Okay, nice. Yeah, graphics quite nice.

This game's £15.

So you get this room, okay. I guess you can build stuff.

Got some quests,

and then you can trade stuff. So where's my money? I've got zero duck dollars. I could sell—

F.

Oh, 180 duck dollars. Cocoa milk.

I guess I'll go out, loot stuff again.

Yeah, yeah, okay, whatever.

Is there not a loot all button? Damn, look how many stats there are for the gun.

Nail.

He dead. What's that lift button? Oh, I could move his body around.

Okay.

Where's my gun?

He dead. Oh,

the camera makes me feel sick.

Take it. Why can't he take it?

Well, the gun doesn't shoot far enough.

Recipe

for crowbar.

Trade. Wow, look at these guns.

Use

weapon parts.

Ouais.

Eat it.

I'm gonna die.

No,

no, no!

I don't know if I like this game.

It takes so long to reload.

I lost all my stuff.

Where's my gun?

嗯。

Why is there Chinese? Was it made by a Chinese company?

I

don't know if I like this game.

Can you change the camera thing?

No. Motion sickness friendly.

Oh, that actually does help. The camera's not like bobbing about everywhere.

Can I sneak?

The gun's not loaded.

Where? What? Where the fuck did that come from? Oh my God,

dead again.

I'm not a fan of the gameplay.

Get

out.

Oh,

oh, give me a shotgun.

Oh my God, I'm gonna fucking kill this game.

This AI is too hard.

What? Oh my God.

I don't like this game.

Why'd you die so easily?

What?

They're shooting their own people.

Uh-huh, now I've got the machine gun.

Oh, oh, I got the machine gun now.

Can I use the aspirin? Oh, you can.

Okay, now I shouldn't die. Where's my inventory?

Haha, I got machine gun now.

Eat it, eat it. What's that?

Oh, shotgun, body armor.

Oh, I got a helmet, money.

Says I'm dehydrated now. So how do I open the inventory?

Got this one. Potato. I don't know how you

open the inventory.

Maybe it's B. It's not I.

How do I open my backpack?

So how do I get water? Can— oh, cola.

Nice. Cigarettes, energy bar.

God, I only got 9 bullets left.

Ammo box. Why can't I pick it up?

The thing following me is a dog.

What was that?

He dead.

You dead.

You dead.

Running out of bullets.

Oh shit.

Oh fuck.

Uh-huh.

Well, he just one-shot that thing.

Oh God.

You dead?

Oh, I'm gonna die. Why am I bleeding? I'm bleeding. No.

Ah, shit.

How do you open the inventory?

Oh no,

no, fucking game! How do you open the fucking backpack?

I lost everything. Why? Look, I'm pressing every single button.

Ah, it's Tab.

Why is it not I? I should open the inventory.

Oh, my stuff's gone.

It's

really annoying.

It's this button.

Can I get my stuff back?

Jesus, how's that thing so strong? Oh my God, what? I think they're stronger at night. Ah, this game is so stupid.

So what, I go to sleep?

It's 7 PM.

Oh, 10 o'clock.

Upload my video.

First time playing

Escape from

Tarkov.

Okay, I think I've got the hang of it now.

He

dead.

Oh, oh, I think things did save from the previous game.

I don't think it resets when you die.

It's not even loaded. Oh my God,

he dead.

Why is eat food you such a weird button?

Uh, put this one there.

Why isn't the bandage doing— oh, oh, it is doing something.

The night is— it lasts until you Go out of the zone, I think.

Who's shooting?

What's that? Ah,

I want my stuff back that I lost.

Poop.

You dead, but should I?

What's that,

a laser?

Oh, what?

I'm gonna die.

You're dead. I don't have any food.

I need food.

He dead. Oh, one more shot and I'm dead.

Why is there no food?

They don't drop any food.

No, I don't like this game.

Okay, I'll make my video.

Video mode. Oh, I'm bored. Yeah.

Hello and welcome back to a new video. So recently I've been playing Escape from Tarkov. It's kind of like a slap in the face. Fuck,

start again.

Hello, welcome back to a new video. So recently I've been playing Escape from Tarkov It's kind of like a funny version ripoff of Escape from Tarkov but very duck themed. So if you've never played a looter shooter, Escape from fucking hell. Oh God,

start again.

Hello and welcome back to a new video. So recently I've been playing Escape from Duckov. And it's, um, kind of like Escape from Tarkov but duck-themed. And as an avid fan of extraction looter shooter games and Escape from Tarkov, I knew I just had to play this game. Unfortunately, so far it's kind of been bland, boring, and

lacking in a certain kind of luster. The game is very annoying. So you kind of like top-down, you got this duck and you go around a very boring looking map and you loot stuff and you shoot other ducks. Things. And that's basically all you do in this whole game. You go into these boxes, you find the loot,

and you got a gun. And then basically you gotta try and kill stuff whilst looting stuff and not dying yourself. So that is mainly what most of the game's about, and it does get kind of repetitive. I have to say, the AI in the game is extremely stupid. And very frustrating to fight against sometimes. So you've got

these enemies, they'll drop stuff, and you can either use stuff they drop or you can sell it or trade it later on at the base. So you get stuff and then you've got these guns and then you can walk around the map. And I find the gameplay to be very frustrating. For example, when you finally get a

load of stuff to loot, you end up dying And you basically lose all the stuff that you looted. And it's very hard to get back the stuff that you've lost because you gotta find where you died again and get back to where you were. And enemies just kind of randomly pop out like that in front of you

without much warning, which is kind of annoying. And you've got all this field of view, but they seem to just randomly appear out of nowhere and get in your face. And I find that very annoying, especially when you're trying not to die. And, uh, the game's only about £15, so it's not exactly expensive. But would I recommend

you buy this game for £15? Well, I don't know, it depends if you got £15 or not and you like this style of game. I don't think I can recommend it because I'm bored already. It's a very repetitive gameplay loop. And basically all you do is you run around this map and then you shoot stuff and then

you loot things, and the game doesn't really get much deeper than that. So if you're looking for a game where you don't do those things, then you're not going to find that in this game. So in this game, basically all you do is you run around this map and then you go to these little boxes and then

you loot the stuff in the boxes and then you can heal yourself and then you go back to the base and then you trade the stuff. To improve the base. Now that's all great and fine and everything if you enjoy that kind of play game— I mean gameplay— but I don't really find that kind of gameplay very

enticing. I prefer a little bit more depth in my gameplay, and this game doesn't really offer me what I'm looking for. So I need all these bullets, and then you can trade the bullets for whatever's in there if your backpack's full up.

And then basically all you do, you run around this map And you just look for things to loot.

And you've got a dog that follows you, but it doesn't really do anything.

And you go around this map and you basically just try and get through the obstacles using the stuff that's in the map.

And basically the gameplay in a nutshell. And you basically just go around this map,

and then there's stuff to loot, and there's enemies like that.

What?

And some of them are tougher. And then you get a shotgun, and you get his helmet, and you get stuff. And you put a shotgun number 2, and you put another shotgun. And then you want to heal, then use power medicine, but you can't use it. Or use aspirin. Oh my God, I wouldn't die. Oh, he dead.

The game is very frustrating because you die very easily.

And then our bullets,

and I got aspirin.

Oh my God, no, this game's fucking stupid.

They just randomly pop up in your face and you can't even see it.

Okay, so you got the base and basically you're supposed to fill it up with stuff that helps you, but since all I do is die over and over again, I don't have any stuff. I got some money, I got 300 thingies. I think you can buy stuff from the vendor.

I have quite a lot of stuff to buy. And basically you gotta go back into the world

and that's the game. That's all you do. Very boring.

And at nighttime the game gets very difficult.

So run around like this and then you loot stuff. So for that reason, I've got to give this game 3 out of 10. Already getting very bored and very annoyed.

Need 3 more minutes.

And the enemies— oh my God, the gun's not even fucking loaded.

Wow, oh my God, and dead again. Oh my God, this game's stupid.

I really hate this game.

So then you gotta go sleep because nighttime's too hard.

Oh,

I'm so refunding this game.

Game. Stupid fucking dumb fucking game.

Why isn't the gun loaded?

Come on, where's the enemies?

He dead,

he dead. And then you get shotgun.

And then you get the armor and then you get a shotgun

and I missed.

Oh, I'm done. This game's so fucking shit.

Oh my God,

this game sucks. Actually sucks.

No, I don't like this game.

I need 15 seconds.

6 seconds. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

Video done. Upload.

Close game.

God, that game sucked.

Give me my money back.

Refund. God, why do I hate video games so much? This is just so boring.

Why can't I find any games I like?

Do not buy Escape from Tarkov.

My review of Escape from

Tarkov.

Look at top sellers.

Football Manager, RV There Yet,

multiplayer co-op, Ark Raiders, Dispatch, Outer Worlds 2, so quite a big new game, I don't want to get it though, Power Wash Simulator,

Jurassic World Evolution,

it's all

Boring. Damn, Walking Dead is only £4. The one with the black guy,

Lee. Do you remember when Lee dies? It was so sad. I remember watching PewDiePie play it. Dead by Daylight, Palworld.

Boring. I just can't get into any games. Either it's skill-based and I suck, or it takes a lot of thinking or management and I get bored. I can't be bothered.

So I don't know what kind of game I'd want to play.

Where everyone tuning in from, guys?

Turn my heat off.

The problem is I turn it off and then it gets cold. The air gets cold, and then I've got to turn it on again, but then it's too hot.

My favorite game is when you put the willy in

the hole. Can't beat that.

Just shut up and put the willy in the hole.

Life's too hard. To be bothered to do anything. Gaming's too hard. What's a guy supposed to do

when he sucks at everything? Suck some cock then.

Hmm, I don't know what you're supposed to do in life when everything's hard and you hate everything because it's hard and you suck at everything.

Shut up, Genghis John. These are all my real viewers, just because you're jealous because you got no viewers.

What time is it? 6 o'clock, nice.

Got 5 hours until Asia market.

How come animals don't suck each other off?

Imagine being so dumb you don't realize that getting sucked off feels good.

Humans must be the only species that suck each other off.

How come animals haven't figured it out?

Why do you need opposable thumbs to suck someone's dick? Something off. Just put it in the mouth.

It's funny, humans think they're so much better than animals, but then we're more disgusting and vulgar than animals in almost every single way. Like, no other animal puts the willy in the bum hole or the mouth.

The stuff we do is like beneath what animals do.

I want to buy that Volvo, the Volvo V40 with the diesel engine. It's only £5,000.

But it's manual.

It looks cool. It looks like a police car but without the markings on it. Police like Volvos, don't they?

Wow, my new video is number 1. 4 minutes watch time, 10-minute click-through rate. Pretty good.

Range Rover. I hate Range Rovers. Big ugly boxes on wheels.

Why is the light outside, the streetlight flashing like that?

Is the wind blowing?

2,000 views on my Fall of Japan video.

Mm hmm.

Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da.

Four thousand, five thousand two. £200.

It's a hatchback, 2015 reg, diesel manual, 1.6-liter engine.

Uh, better fuel economy, 81 MPG.

I

could drive all the way back to my mum's place without stopping.

Can you check the car? Wait, let me link it.

Guys, what do you think of this car?

It looks pretty good. I like the design of the back with the black glass and the black boot. I like the white.

I just— I don't like the leather interior. It's got twin exhaust. Which means it goes faster.

Looks pretty cool. The inside leather seats are kind of ugly though,

and it's got one of those old-school handbrakes. I don't like those. I like automatic handbrake.

Yeah, it's manual. I don't know if I want to drive a manual.

The worst thing is if you're stopping on a hill and then you've got to do a handbrake start. Those terrify me.

I used to stall the car on those hills a lot.

But to get an automatic, you got to pay thousands extra.

You got so much to do. Like when you stop, you got to do clutch down, first gear. Although my instructor used to make me put it into neutral. He'd be like, clutch down— no, I don't know actually. I think if you're stopping at lights, he would say first gear.

Clutch down, first gear. You forget to put it into first gear when you stop, and then you're like in 3rd gear trying to start the car and it just stalls, and then you're like, what happened?

And then you got to restart the engine, everyone horning at you.

Or maybe if you just learn how to do it, then you wouldn't do that.

It's like if you're on a bicycle and you're going fast, you put it into 5th gear and then you stop, but you didn't put it back into 1st gear before you stopped, and now you try and move off on 5th gear, your legs are going to be crying.

That's how the car works. Your legs are like the engine.

You can't change the gear when you're stationary on a bicycle. You need the gear chain to click.

Oh, you accidentally put it into 3rd gear instead of 2nd gear.

I don't like gears, that's why I got an EV.

Guess I'm stuck with my car then.

Oh, I'm bored.

Get some water.

Mmm, what are we doing then? Battlefield 6 or talking?

I'm not hungry now. Maybe I could cook the pasta meat for later. I might do that in a minute. See, now it's getting cold.

Now I'm bored of gaming. Talking passes the time quicker.

But

I

don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. What's Bitcoin doing?

Bitcoin ripping up 2%. Ethereum ripping over 4K again.

I'm bored of the— I think I forgot how to do the Rubik's Cube now.

I got bored of it.

I can't even be bothered anymore.

Done with it. Once you solve it, it's not fun anymore.

Do you think Chihiro ever sometimes checks in on me? See what I'm up to?

Do you remember I took driving lessons and then she started posting videos of her also driving a car? She rented a car, went to Okinawa,

posted on her Instagram. Does she still post on Instagram?

Now that I left Discord, I don't see those updates.

I think last time she posted on Instagram that I remember, she was in Bali,

and I was saying it would be funny if AJ bumped into her.

She probably feels sorry for me. Probably thinks, oh, he had such a great life in Japan with me. Now look at his life. Looks shit.

No one to make YouTube with.

Damn, I can't believe Chihiro is like 43 now. That's wild.

I can't believe I'm her age when I met her.

That's wild.

That it took this long for me to catch up to her age. It took 8 years, basically.

8 years. And I'm still here. Doing the same thing.

She must be thinking, I can't believe I even married this guy.

嗯。

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

I miss those days where I looked forward to playing Battlefield 6.

Now it's dead to me.

The grenade launcher kind of ruined it.

Ah, face

feels tired. 嗯。啊。

嗯。

Anything interesting on YouTube?

Day trading losing $230K, worst trading day ever.

M5 MacBook Pro.

Yeah, do you remember when I got the MacBook Pro and it had 8GB of RAM? People kept calling me stupid for not getting 16. And then I kept monitoring the RAM usage, seeing it use the swap memory or something, the virtual RAM.

And then I wanted to get 16GB.

And then I started gaming on it, and then I thought, actually, I kind of like gaming. And then I sent it back to get this laptop so I could game. And now I don't game anymore, I might as well get a MacBook again.

I mean, I do game, but I don't want to game, but sometimes gaming does game.

I had that MacBook Air. Didn't I get the MacBook Air M1 chip and then I sold it to my sister for £500?

Maybe I'll get the MacBook Pro M5 chip for my day trading.

Can't be a pro day trader. Day trader without MacBook.

I got hired to Work at this Chinese drive th ru restaurant to take customers' orders over the inter com in Mandarin. We need how funny letter Chinese restaurant. 小 吃 点 什么 呢？ But let 's see what happens when Chinese customers pull up to the window after ordering with me. 你 好， 是 哪 哪 一个 要 辣

的 那个 牛 那个 牛？

喂， 你好， 小 吃 点 什么 呢？ 我要 一个 综 合 炒 饭， 丝 筋 炒 饭， 然后 我要 加 辣。 什么 呢？

Isn't that America? How does he know they're Chinese if they don't speak Chinese first? Or maybe he just assumes they're all Chinese because they're coming to a Chinese food place. 对对对，我我四斤炒饭加辣哦，加辣，加辣。哎呀，那个四总，欢迎您，您可以在我们开的来啊。

Kind of want Chinese food now. 你 好， 是 哪 哪 一个 要 辣 的 那个 牛 那个 牛 肉？ 我 都 可以 听 见 他 说 着 N word over and over again。

对， 我要 十 斤 炒 饭 加 辣。 对 哦， 十 斤 炒 饭 加 辣 好。 那 等一下。 呃， 哎， m ust be kind of the ar roz. Okay. See. Okay. 没有 没有 没有， 我 我 今天 没有 是 真的 对 对。

谢谢， 所以 开 哦？ 今天 哦， 我 开 玩 笑 了， 我 不是 开 哦， 我就 高 兴 认 识 你。 对， 不是 做 我是 都 在 做。 All this video is just him speaking Chinese and getting their reactions, and it still works. It 's funny. 1.7 million views. There we go. Nice to meet you. Thanks for the

white guy. Out every five seconds, it's stressful. But the funny thing is, even when I'm not doing something this chaotic, I can still get that same anxious feeling. Go. 喂，你好，想吃点什么呢？嗯，要一个陈呃陈皮鸡。比较贵。

I want Chinese food now.

What are you up to now? Being bored. The game's rubbish.

I'm hungry. I might start making my beef.

Let's do some cooking.

Vale.

Da da da da. Oh, very loud. I got beef

and onions. I got these onions ages ago. I don't know if they're still good. They look fine. I bought them probably over a month ago.

I don't know, they might be rotten inside.

Have a look.

Looks fine.

Beef and onions.

The outer layer looks a bit weird. Oh,

why does it look like that?

That's fine.

It smells quite nice. Onions go with beef so well.

It's crazy how long they can last.

Might use another one.

The skin's pretty good at keeping it fresh.

Here are one of the onions.

Onion, onion, onion,

onion.

Onion.

The onion in the oil.

Now, do I put the onions first or the beef first?

Where's my tomato? Aha,

the tomato.

Chopped tomato.

Might use 2 cans. I don't know, put 1 can first and then test out the other one.

We boil in the oil and oil the boil, oil the boil. Oh boy, oh boy. And then we put the— look,

I still got this pasta.

I still got this pasta from Ages ago, Polly Popo from Discord sent it to me.

Never opened it yet.

I need a bigger frame.

That's a lot of money.

I need a bigger frying pan.

Pan. Chicken stock.

Going to go with 2 cubes of chicken stock.

That's a lot of onion.

Onion.

Ice

water.

Oh,

my eyes.

Seems like too much onion actually for that amount of beef.

Might have chopped too many onions.

And then we got the beef, and then we beefed the guts.

And then we got the baby.

Beeping on the old

Why I would not work

the beef into the pan in pork Rating the update.

Why is there no city?

Onions not even cooked. Yeah, well, they'll keep cooking, won't they?

So we put the chicken stocks of a 1 and a 2.

Will it

dissolve?

I'm making beef bolognese.

That's a lot of bees.

6 dinners worth.

My spatula's getting all wet.

Where's the chicken stock?

Okay, then you put the tomato.

I need a bigger pan.

I might put another can of tomatoes.

Yeah,

another can.

That's a lot of water. I need a bigger pan.

Jesus.

This fine, it will reduce down.

Put the bowl on then.

I don't know if it needs another chicken stock.

It's more like a soup now.

It's not going to bubble over, it's going to reduce down.

Should buy another pan, maybe.

I can't believe they scam you with those jars of pasta sauce for £2.60 when you get 4 cans of Chopped tomatoes for like one pound. It's basically the same thing.

Oh, there's so much water in this

bowl of name.

I put chicken stock to season it. Take a little taste.

Oh my God, it's really good.

Damn, 2 chicken stocks was just right.

I might put half another one.

Just pause. Breathe good.

It's a lot of liquid.

When's the liquid gonna reduce down? It's like more liquid is coming out, not disappearing. I'm making bola maize. Look at it, beautiful.

3 ingredients: beef, onions, tomatoes with chicken stock.

This will last me for the whole week.

What is that? I just said bolognese.

Very hard to mix it. I need a bigger pan.

I thought it would reduce down, but it's not really.

Damn, that's good tasting. Bold name. It's like tomato soup.

Ow, ow, ow!

That's a bolognese. Any Italian girls in the chat?

No? Fuck you then. Fuck Italy. Fuck you idiots.

Fuck your father then.

I

still have spaghetti, actually.

Yeah, yeah, I still got this.

It's been in there for months.

Yeah, I might play Battlefield. I know I'm a bit bored of it. Heat up the water.

I can't see what I'm doing because of all the steam.

The liquid is reducing down.

It's more like a soup at the moment.

Might have spaghetti instead of the— it's Joe Knows Aloe.

Wow,

um, splashing everywhere.

Put the heat down to low heat to let it sit.

Actually, I might turn the heat off. I think it's done.

We're saving so much money by making this.

It was, um, £5 beef, probably like £2 for onions, so maybe like £1 for 2 onions. £6. And then the spaghetti I got for free, and then Chicken stock's probably like, I don't know, 20p for the amount I used.

How many portions of spaghetti do you think I can make out of this? Probably like 5. 5 divided by 6 is what, 30p?

No, it must be under a pound per meal. Do 6 divided by 5 must be 30p.

30p divided by 10 would be— I don't know how to do maths— 50p a mil.

5 divided by— no, 6— no, 7 divided by 10

is 70p. So if I get 5 mils, it'll be £1.40 per male looking at.

Sometimes I kind of miss how Vasta used to fuss over me,

calling me,

constantly worried about me. It felt nice.

Kind of miss her clinginess. I like the way she called me baby.

I don't know if I fucked up. Losing that relationship.

I feel like it was a pretty good relationship. It's just I wasn't sexually satisfied.

I always felt annoyed. I don't know why. I always felt irritated, you know.

When she took me out of Bangkok to do a road trip, I feel irritated.

And now that's like something I really want to do, a road trip.

And I felt so desperate to get out of that relationship at the time, trying to figure out a way how to exit with the least amount of damage.

I feel bad how I handled it.

I think it really broke her heart. I think it was way more devastating than it was for me.

Good times,

Thailand. I'll never forget you.

Yeah, do you remember there was an earthquake near Thailand? All those swimming pools overflowed. My mum messaged faster asking if she was okay. She said she was fine.

How many servings? I don't know, probably like 6, 7.

Only got 3 hours left. Nice, killing it today. The midday nap was actually pretty good. I'll probably do that tomorrow as well.

You could probably make a good tomato soup as well if you just use the cans and then added a bit of potato, a bit of ham, put some basil,

because this— I mean, it's more like a soup kind of

than a sauce.

Not even close.

It's the thing I hate about pasta, it takes so long to cook. Like 30 minutes.

It's still hard in the middle.

My favorite thing when I was with Vasta was when it would be nearly 6:30 to 7 o'clock. I'd start cooking in the kitchen, and then I heard the keys jangling.

I quickly rushed over to the door to open it for her. Well, I'd unlock the door so she didn't have to open it. And then I'd be cooking in the kitchen, she'd come in,

she'd hug me really tight,

and then she'd get changed into her pajamas.

And then we sit down at the little table and I'd have my meal and she'd have her Thai food. And we put on Netflix and put on a movie. We eat, not really saying anything. We never talked. I never said like, oh, how was your day? She never told me how her day was because I never asked.

She asked me what I did, I'd say I was streaming. And then we just sit there eating and watching the movie. And then after we finished eating, we'd hug. And then I'd get up, perhaps do all the chores, put all the dishes in the sink, clean up the kitchen. And then she'd go to the bed and sit

on the bed with her phone, and I'd go back to my computer and I'd play games.

Good old domestic lifestyle.

I can't believe I lived that life, like a Thai life with basically a Thai wife. Heard the Thai language every day.

It's crazy I lived that life. Now I'm back here in the UK. Now seems like it was all a dream.

How come he's still broke if he gets paid a lot now? Uh, cuz I've been booking hotels and I've been driving here and driving there.

The UK is expensive. I've been living a lavish lifestyle.

Yeah, I bought the iPhone X, I bought the Switch 2, I bought the Flip 7.

And I didn't need to buy any of this stuff. The Flip 7 cost £1,000, iPhone Air's £1,000, Switch 2's £400. I didn't need this stuff, I wanted it. It's £2,400 added to my debt.

I wanted the Flip 7 so I could flip it and put it in my bag strap so I could walk around in Asia streaming, and then I ended up not going to Asia. Uh, now I like this camera more than my S10+ because it's brighter, it makes me look better.

Asia Market? It's not yet. Got Asia still.

Still a little bit hard.

Why is it taking so long?

Sometimes I just don't know about life in the UK. Like, it seems cozy, you know, Christmas and fireplaces, rainy days, nice countryside, Christmas markets, mulled wine, hot dogs and burgers.

But then, I don't know, life abroad always seems like a brag. Like, oh, I'm living in Thailand. Oh, I'm living in Japan.

It's like a little brag, isn't it? I always felt kind of smug to be able to say, oh, I'm living in Japan now.

Like a humble brag,

even though I didn't even like it that much. It felt good to be able to tell people I live in Japan

whilst everyone's slaving away in the UK.

I can't believe Keir Starmer is the most unpopular Prime Minister the country's ever had. And we had Boris Johnson and everyone hated him. Imagine being more unpopular than Boris Johnson.

That's quite an achievement.

The thing I like about Asia is if you want a traditional girlfriend with, you know, feminine identity without all this wokeism stuff, who wants to live with you, you know, like a proper partner, like a proper traditional— I mean, it's okay if you can go out and work. I'm not saying she's got to be like a housewife

in the kitchen. I'm just feeling like if you want that kind of relationship,

I don't know if there's— it seems like it's harder to get that in the UK unless you're dating women in their 40s who are from an older generation.

How come I deleted most of my videos? Because they're so old, don't get views anymore, and they don't really represent my values anymore. I'm just gonna remake them all from scratch.

Okay, spaghetti done.

One for you,

one for me.

A one for you,

and then some sauce.

This is gonna last forever if I only take 3 scoops.

Where am I gonna put all this?

Oh yeah, put a tiny bit more.

Voilà,

I'm gonna make 10 mils out of that bottle of naive.

I

need some cheese on

top.

Check my new video, Parmesan. I can't roll

forwards.

Take a picture.

In case I run out of things to talk about with my girlfriend,

just show her food.

Hmm,

pretty good.

Mm,

wow,

pretty good.

I'm gonna be eating this every day.

Mmm,

pretty good.

So the beef cost £5. Onions, probably like £1.20 for 2.

Um, tomatoes were probably like £1.70 for 4, so maybe

80p for 2 cans. And then chicken stocks were like 10p.

£7 to make all that, and I could probably have 8 servings. That's like 80p per meal.

Mm,

that's pretty good.

I already explained how— why I owe my mum many times.

I've been explaining it for a whole year.

How do you not know?

You only just joined. Uh, well, she helped me pay for my car and then she helped me pay for my tax.

I got a tax penalty because I didn't pay my taxes properly. I owed $10K to taxes and I owed $10K for my car finance.

What? No, Matt,

you're actually buying into this shit that I didn't pay off the card? I'm disappointed,

very disappointed. You think I actually didn't pay off the card and I took the money?

I did pay off.

This is some stupid rumor trolls are spreading.

Do I think it will last till end of the year?

Um, thinking no.

You were shocked about what?

I'm wondering what the end of the sentence is gonna be.

30K guarantee data is correct. Well, you better claim your 30K because it's not correct.

Why don't you use carvertical.com?

They're pretty reliable.

Either it's not correct— I mean, it's not correct, but maybe it just takes a while for the information to update.

Because I paid someone £10,000.

All right, that was a pretty good dinner. Best thing I've had in a while.

All right, let me ask AI then. I paid off my car finance plan. In full.

When was it? Back in,

um, April. I think it was around April.

But viewers have been using car checkup websites to find out

If it's still on finance and the websites are saying it is, they are accusing me of not paying it off.

It says car check sites rely on data feeds from lenders. Updates can take weeks or even months. Some lenders only update databases monthly or quarterly. If the car was recently paid off in April and the lender didn't push the update, the system might still flag it as financed. Yeah, so

That's what I've been saying.

Your payment wasn't accounted for, then it went somewhere else. I got all the emails and all the documents. It went to Stellantis Financial Group. They wrote me an email back saying they're no longer interested in the car. I paid it through the finance portal website.

I haven't paid any car payments. Since I paid it off and no one's come to collect the car, so they're making a big fuss out of nothing. It's simply these databases haven't updated. Try again at the end of the year.

I can't believe of all the things, this is what I'm being accused of.

It's such a silly thing to be accused of.

I'm not worried at all.

Do you think if I hadn't paid it off and I haven't been making payments

that no one would have come for the car and I wouldn't have gotten any emails or letters warning me?

It's not real time. AI just said that it takes months for these data things to get updated.

Are you sure it takes months for databases to be updated?

Oh, it usually takes 7 to 14 days for car finance records to update on HPI or Experian.

Period. Uh, what about Stellantis?

Up to 30 days. Weird.

Then why are car databases saying it's still on finance.

Maybe I'll log into the finance portal thing.

Stellantis finance.

How do I log

in

my online account?

Okay, agreement details.

Financial products, PCP. Amount financed, 10,700.

Next payment, 0. Next payment date blank. Transaction history:

early settlement £10,449.

Cumulative balance zero.

Unallocated payment,

10,449. I don't know what that means.

Payment schedule, remaining balance 0, total outstanding 0.

Manage agreement. Vehicles

amortization schedule.

February 2025 was my last payment.

For the normal plan. Yeah, I only made 6 payments. Last one was in February, and I think I paid it all off in March.

I don't know where you check, like, where do you check then?

My documents.

End of your agreement confirmation, March 2025.

Early settlement quote.

I've got the— okay, here.

Dear Mr. Lord, we write to advise that your agreement with us is now closed. If under your agreement you had the option to hand your car back and have done so, we'll be in touch soon to let you know if you'll pay extra excess. I'm glad that we were able to finance your car and And if you

need help in the future, I hope you again consider Stellantis Financial Services. If you have any questions about this letter,

okay, says we write to advise that your agreement with us is now closed.

So I don't know what else you want.

Agreement details.

Next payment, nothing.

I paid on the 4th of March, early settlement invoice.

£10,449.18. So I don't know why these database websites are saying it's still on finance.

Following your recent inquiry, we are pleased to confirm that all payments have been received in respect to our agreement and we hold no further interest in the vehicle below.

Vehicle model: Peugeot 208 100 kW Allure Premium, 50K.

GF22 GKP.

Don't know, they're convinced I haven't paid it off because some random websites are saying that it's still financed.

I haven't made any payments for 7 months and no one's come after the car, so

Making a big fuss over nothing.

I'd be interested to see what carvertical.com says because that's supposed to be quite a reputable website.

High Peak Auto is always pushing it.

And then I showed proof of the email and then they accused me of Faking it. HPI check. I didn't buy the car on HPI, I bought it on PCP. Unless— did you check? Does it check for PCP?

And we made Mr. Who's the Boss dream phone. Did they really make it, or they just make a list of the parts and the cost? It'd be cool if they actually made a prototype.

I'll try a car vertical. I'll do it myself, but I don't want to pay the money.

Why don't you just trust me? I mean, even if I'm lying about it, why do you care?

The fact that I haven't done my grin thing should kind of tell you that I'm telling the truth. Every time I lie, I do that massive grin, don't I?

I'm not very good at telling lies.

Did your iPhone have— shut up.

Yeah, the seagull came out of nowhere and then I dropped

It's at the repair shop.

Uh,

oh,

new Traveling Trader video dropped, guys.

What up, traders? On those rare earth export controls, and the second day we'll be going over— according to my risk strategy, I was not going to be opening a ton of leveraged longs while we were still trading in this October 10th candle, and in my opinion, that was the right decision. Now obviously I'm still going to day

trade because I shorted

I'll watch it tomorrow morning.

Damn,

that spaghetti was so good.

Yeah, the iPhone story is complete bollocks, guys. I'm not telling you what happened.

So drop it.

None of your damn business.

But I'll tell you about the car is that I paid it off.

See, look, no smile.

I kind of wish I did keep the money, actually. I could put it in S&P 500,

but then my mom would have been pissed.

Mango.

What's my— what's new in my life? Since when?

Since how long ago?

I moved to Devon. I rented a house. I bought a car.

I got a new girlfriend.

She's British.

Um, I got banned and fired from Amazon Flex and every

Now I'm just streaming on Kick.

That's it, really.

I got a car to do delivery work, and then I got banned from doing delivery work. And now I'm stuck with a very expensive car.

It's like buying a very expensive camera to start a YouTube channel and then you get banned from YouTube.

And I became an uncle. I've got a nephew now.

He's 2 months old.

I already went back to my mum's place a couple weeks ago. I might go back again next week.

I'm just waiting to not be sick, otherwise my sister's gonna be worried.

I should be fine. Uh, after next week.

Um, Bobby's out of the picture now, not really worth bringing up.

If I was gonna buy another one, I want a female body. With a dick. Now that'll be hot. Tits and bum with a cock.

That's one, one advantage of living alone is you can buy this stuff, because if I lived in my mum's house, I would not buy this stuff. I bought it before when I was crazy, 2019. And I can't believe I did that. I hid it in the closet.

It was pretty nice.

A life-size one's too hard to clean. Too hard to hide as well. So she'd have to have no legs and no arms and no head. Although I kind of want a head so I can kiss it.

I wouldn't mind having a head next time. Just get rid of the legs and arms.

Spasm. And probably rats in the closet trying to find him,

laying their rat babies inside of his anus. Bobby's gonna give birth to a little rat fetus.

Thankfully he's got a tight anus, so that's not gonna happen.

Get a little, little thing to dress up his cock. I've seen those on gay videos. They get like a little lace thing with string and they like, they put it on the dick. It's like a little skirt for the dick to feminize it.

Make some

tea. I'll sort out the bolognese.

Testing.

Oh my God,

oh yeah, look at all this bolognese! That's gonna last me forever.

I don't know what all this— is that mold?

It doesn't come off. Oh, it does kind of. I'll use this one.

I need a big plastic spoon.

Oh, why is that thing so loud?

And then the lip doesn't close. Stupid T-moots up there.

Oh, bye-bye.

I

still

got apple crumble, but I'm so full up. I've got too much food now.

Why is everything so loud?

Wash it up.

I

made beef bolognese.

Ah,

it's

coming up.

Everyone tuning in from— everyone tuning in from— tuning in from— everyone tuning in from—

water.

Tea. I got jasmine tea. I got oranges.

Everyone tuning in. Everyone tuning in. Everyone tuning in. In front. Everyone tuning in. In front.

2 more hours. Today's going pretty quick.

3 hours until Asian market.

Orange.

Mm, wow, really good orange. It's firm but not too squishy.

It's sweet with a slight tang.

What

do you mean a real orange? So you're saying mine's not a real orange just because it's smaller than your orange?

So you're saying a midget is not a real human being because it's smaller?

Pretty racist.

Disappointed in you, TB.

My new video got 1 out of 10.

I don't like real oranges.

The skin's too thick and there's too much white stuff on it.

Yeah, but no one says I'm having a tangerine. They just say I'm having an orange. I've never heard anyone call it by its technical name.

It's like you say I'm having an apple. You don't say I'm having a Granny Smith.

No one describes fruit by the specific names. It's all got like a general name: banana, orange, apple.

Mango. I've never heard a single person say the word clementine or tangerine.

Ma bolognese.

Everyone tuning in from—

might play some Battlefield.

Or Chivalry or Battlefield? Hmm,

feeling like Chivalry. Battlefield just has no sense of humor and it's just kind of dull. I like the sense of humor and the brightness of Chivalry. Oh yeah, I didn't have KitKat. I'm just too full up.

Regicide.

Where everyone tuning in from? Tuning in from? Everyone tuning in from? In from?

I need a fucking medic.

The resolution settings always messed up when I open the game.

I've always got to manually do it.

Chivalry. I want to unlock the big sword.

Duel of the Fetuses.

Reinforced update.

Oh, not the brown level. I hate this one. Baldwin.

The breach of Boatwind. The Tanoosians set on revenge.

What? I got killed already?

Didn't even do anything.

I don't like this class.

So level 18, I get the greatsword.

Heavy, heavy cavalry sword.

And this one gets the quarterstaff.

I want to be— I want to get the greatsword.

What happened to

the Agathians?

What? What?

I hate the fire.

What?

What?

Uh, my body.

Why they always come out of nowhere?

I don't like this level.

I saw that over there.

Imagine wearing armor in this heat.

This

is not good.

It's not many of them.

He dead.

Oh,

he dead.

You dead. Give me the sword.

Oh,

you dead.

Oh, I killed my own guy. What?

No, I never played Outlaws. Oh, I'm back. Where's my big sword?

He dead.

Damn, that combo is deadly.

No,

my big sword!

Oh, I thought it was the enemy.

Oh.

His sword's massive. Look at this thing, it's so big.

Whoa, he dead.

Glorious Canosa! Our siege ramps are in position. These Mason siege weapons are terrible. What? Take them out! What?

How do I heal? Oh, I love

the big sword.

What?

What?

I hate that kick.

Big sword, big man. What?

Oh, I got him!

Wow, my big sword! Oh, my sword!

Bro, what? I'm not even on the fire.

Stupid fire.

Air defense is broken. Tear down the remaining siege weapons.

What? He dead.

I'm dead.

Big sword. Why? I want the big sword. Why can't I pick it up?

Oh

my God, I just smashed his head.

What?

We're winning. The ramparts are ours. Proceed into the city.

The Norjan, clear a path for our bombards. Take control of the bazaar.

That kick is so OP, you can't block it.

I hate that kick.

He dead.

What?

I'm dead.

The bazaar is nearly ours. Occupy it!

Hey,

Dad.

We have taken the bazaar. Bodwin is almost ours. He dead. The Masons still hold the town hall. Take it back.

I want that sword.

Wow.

You dead? Whoa, we got cannons!

They just move on their own.

Any big— oh, big sword! Nice, look at that,

massive.

Oh

no,

I want the big sword.

Pixel.

Our forces have nearly taken the Horde. We have forced them—

ah,

I keep hitting the wrong people.

Oh wow.

I just keep dying over and over.

This game's on sale now, it's like £6.

Wow.

He dead,

he dead.

Oh, he dead.

Ah.

That sound— it'll sound like a turkey.

90 damage.

Oh,

I got him.

Ah,

did you hear that? Who's like, oh God.

What? He wasn't even near me.

I'll punch you in the face.

Why do they drop their weapons? Silly.

Check my new video, 1,000 views.

Rudhelm. Never seen this one before.

Wow, look at that throne. It's made out of rocks. That's pretty cool.

Who made this game?

Stupid iPhone crashed.

Masons, we must— Torn Banner Studio, never heard of them.

This level looks cool. Look at the castle.

That's a castle.

Haha, got ya.

What?

How'd I get one shot?

What? Where are they all coming from?

What? Ah, the dodge doesn't do anything.

Hit it,

hit

it.

What? What? You louts! The Agathian towers are— what the— 2,000 damage!

Soldiers, Defend the fort walls.

Okay. Oh, how long until I get the greatsword? Level 18. I'm only level 8. Uh, say ages.

What's that?

What?

What? I can't get it.

Where are my weapons?

I need a weapon.

I'm stuck.

I need a

weapon. Ah, where everyone tuning in from, guys?

You fools! They have nearly taken control of our

walls!

Folly! The Agathians have taken the walls! He dead.

He dead.

He dead. Ah,

I dead.

1 hour 20 minutes to go.

What?

What? Nah, I lost both my arms.

Oh, 60 damage.

Oh, he dead.

Oh, he dead. What?

I think I disabled my special attack. Isn't that the tackle move? Because I put thrust on Q.

I got this tackle move.

Missed.

Oh, I got him.

Ah.

It reminds me a bit of Alterac Valley from World of Warcraft. World of

Warcraft, but not turn-based. I mean, it's not turn-based, but it was like you click on the ability and

Moi.

Yeah, the vibes are so different in this to Battlefield 6.

Oh,

I got him!

Too many people, right? Oh, I'm on fire.

I cannot—

Those sea cats must be stopped!

Ah,

8

o'clock, 2 hours and a half until Asia market.

Oh, I got him.

Bork his neck.

Uh,

oh, what?

What? I swing so

slowly. What?

Oh,

he dead.

What the fuck?

I've got banged up. Good.

Looks like a nice town.

I need to pee.

Oh, oh,

ah,

they'll gangbang you.

He spawned so far away from the action, it's annoying.

What? There's too many of them, I can't see.

You jokes, they're siege rams! To breach the walls. Masons defend the courtyard.

Oh, I got him.

What?

I need to pay.

Oops. Oh, I got him!

Why?

Ah, I'm dead.

Do I get level up yet?

No.

Well,

ow.

Do do do.

Nothing to it.

What? What?

Uh,

like pee.

The courtyard must not fall.

Ah,

but

what?

Oh, the respawn rate is so slow.

12 seconds.

Oh.

He has seized the courtyard! Fall back inside the castle in the name of Marik, god, the heir to the throne!

Here come them bloody bastards!

What?

Huh.

Ah, let's

go

this way. Eat it. Oh, eat it.

Oh,

I don't understand how the counterattack works.

Oh, I got him.

I need a sword.

The hell's

happening?

I can't see.

He dead. They dead.

Wow, I can't believe I didn't die.

Ow.

Where's my grenade launcher?

Give me the sword. Greatsword.

You're dead.

You're dead.

Ah, we lost again. Why do we just lose all the time?

Rank 14. Can I customize my character?

Check my new video.

It dropped down to number 2. Chris Broad video overtook it,

unfortunately.

One hour to go and It's only 8 o'clock actually. I do more.

I might just stream until 11.

I think the nap really helped rejuvenate me.

Yeah, Gathians are like the Lannisters and the Masons are like the Starks.

They even got a northern accent.

Wow, look at the scenery.

Whoa.

Uh.

Where'd he go?

He dead.

Oh,

reinforcements are almost here. Hold our positions.

Come on, respawn.

Our reinforcements have arrived! Consolidate our forces and push forward! Escort the ram to their gates. The success of our offensive hinges on its destruction.

No, the Dolce is pretty good.

This

is bullets. You dead.

What? Keep pushing that ram! It is the key to the kingdom!

This is shite.

Get it?

Level 15.

This is— I'm level 8.

I need level 18.

God,

can't see anyone.

I'm liking

Oh,

oh,

oh.

Where's my weapon?

Give me a weapon. Give me that one. This is choice. My sword. What?

I

keep dropping my weapon.

I hate the fire, but— well, why is he hitting me?

Not— not dying fighting. Oh,

I got level 9. This is fun.

He fell down.

Oh.

Why

does he keep dropping his sword?

Ah, I'm dead.

He dead.

So what did I unlock? Level 9. Nothing. Oh, it's gonna take ages to get level 18. I'm only level 9.

We dead.

I wanted—

where's my main guy?

Quite like this dried mango.

Maybe I'll get my Haribo.

I should call it Danny Bo.

Check my new video.

Once more we shall vanquish our old enemy from our home. Seventy coming. Weak and fearful. Pretty good. The might of the desert snake rises. Four minute watch time. Raise your weapons! Meet the day's first light for the Empire! Agathians are coming to silence our bombards. Protect Mount Two. Oh, not this level.

I hate this level. It's boring. I don't want to play this level. Oh no, not exit.

Yeah, exit.

I really hate that desert level. It's so ugly.

So what can I do?

Oh cool, I can change. Oh my God, what was that? It's so ugly. I'm gonna get S26 Ultra. No, boring. The brewer, the butcher, the carpenter. Why are they all so ugly? This guy is not too bad.

Oh yeah, the soldier then.

Um, head type, eye color, personality.

You unlock it.