Kick Livestreams/NOT GOOD 2025-10-22 04_12 [8beaafd6-not-good] 480p

Even Every seems better now. $65 is like £46. I make £6— I made £46 by doing like 2 hours, 3 hours of Every work. Oh, it's 7. I mean, double the hours to make the same money, but a tenth of the hard work, I guess.

Plus no fuel costs, car repairs. Oh God, back to that stage of—

back to the stage of struggling to make $100 a day. Because if I did 10 hours, I wouldn't make $100 a day because Making less than $10 an hour.

Even the haters are gone. Yeah, because the haters are a bunch of fucking retards who only find things like poo jokes funny, so they've got no interest in stocks, gaming, or anything. They only watch me because they're a bunch of retarded autists.

So when all I do is game, they stop tuning in.

I had the worst dinner ever. Curry vindaloo. It was so damn spicy. I was feeling sick. Sick. I had to put it in the bin.

Disgusting. I couldn't even taste the flavor of it because it was so burning hot. Had apple crumble instead.

Oh God. So to make $100, I'm gonna have to stream like 12 hours a day. I can't do it.

I don't know, like the Kick people fucked my hourly rate down again. It was doing good, like $15, $20 an hour, and then it's down, back down to like $8 or $9. I don't know, like they got some kind of lever, don't they, behind the scenes where they can like fuck up your hourly rate.

What time is it? It's like 7. So I got— if I want to make $100 today, I got to do another 4 hours because I'm $35 away from $100. 3 hours wouldn't make $35, it would make like $27. So 4 fucking hours.

The end is nigh.

If I only did 6 hours, which is like a normal working day, I would have only made—

Jesus Christ, I would have only made like £36. Oh my God,

I would have only made like £30 or £40 if I do a normal working day.

What isn't good?

I finished a 2-hour stream. I made $17.

Not even $10 an hour now. Fucking stupid shit website.

I could make more money doing 2-hour bee livery drive.

The bee livery, I do— take me 2 hours, they might pay me like £25.

That's $33. $33 versus $17. Fucking shit website.

How do you earn £6K a month?

Well, in June and July, um, I was making like £16, £17 an hour. I'm making half an hour compared to June and July.

Yeah, maybe people were right, like you get a boosted hourly rate. When you're starting off and then they lower it down.

What's the point though? I mean, you're just going to make people think, oh, I might as well get a real job because I have to do less hours

and have a normal life

where I could take the weekends off and the evenings off.

Kick's a stupid website.

So

Ever since I came down to 50 viewers average,

I've been making like $8 an hour.

I even stream all day, only make— barely make $100.

What is the plan? I don't know. I don't know anymore.

God, I wish I could just play Battlefield and get the same number of viewers.

Maybe, I don't know.

These are the end days.

Maybe my mum's right. I've gotta move back in.

I miss the days where I just did a couple hours in the evening on YouTube and then I did something else during the day.

Yeah, worst dinner ever.

Chicken vindaloo, so damn spicy.

God, I miss those days when I streamed on YouTube, made a couple hundred easy.

Sad, cuz I've only made $65 today.

I only made $2,000 this month and there's 10 days left. If I make $100 a day,

um, I don't think I'm gonna make $3,000 because now to make $100 a day, I gotta stream 12 hours a day.

I mean, even 12 hours wouldn't get 100, be like 96.

Make more doing Uber. Well, yeah, make more doing anything for half the hours.

I need to get a taxi license to do Uber. Did you know

If you gave your friend a lift home and they gave you some money for the fuel and you profited, you'd be breaking the law because you would be technically acting as an unlicensed taxi driver. How fucking dumb are the laws in this country?

But everything just seems so stupid. Oh, technically this and technically that.

As if you're trying to make a profit off your friend. I mean, why— like, why does it make you an unlicensed taxi driver if you make a profit, but if you made a 1p loss, then you're not a taxi driver? Doesn't make any fucking difference.

Office workers, I make more than that. An office worker would make more than minimum wage unless you're like a trainee junior who just makes tea. But any office job is usually a skilled job,

but you need qualifications for an office job.

How many hours am I working a month? I don't know, it must be hundreds.

Yeah, you need like social office skills.

Oh, hello, how was your weekend?

Anyone want a cup of tea? You need to be like that chatty kind of persona. Well, you can be like a weirdo quiet guy. If you've got the qualifications and you're like that quiet nerdy guy in the corner working on the calc eliminations and like technical stuff,

like my dad, I guess. But if you want to be receptionist, general office,

social media manager, I don't know, stuff like non-technical but office stuff, then you need like that professional touch.

I think the gaming and probably the trading is really tanking my earnings because so many of my core audience is just leaving.

But I don't really want to get my core audience back because half of them are pricks

and I end up just having to ban loads of people.

Oh, I had the weirdest dream about the guy who forced me to make tea, now you mention it.

It was like I was talking to my sister and she was saying, oh, so-and-so talked about you on his world tour TED Talk. And I was like, oh, that's okay, I talk shit about him too on stream. That was so random.

Where's everyone tuning in from?

Yeah, Vichy Dude's a prick. I asked him if he could do me a favor since he can run transcripts to look for this phrase I said.

But then he like found phrases I said, not like in the way that I wanted. And then he puts it on the subreddit.

I didn't say find this phrase I said that makes me look bad and put on the subreddit, did I?

There's something wrong with that guy.

Seriously mentally ill.

Kind of looking forward to going back to YouTube.

Sick and tired of this Kick bullshit.

Apart from the money, I feel like ever since I started Kick, everything's just gone down the toilet.

Mental health,

Everything. Channel's dead. Yeah, I don't know how much damage I've done.

Maybe I'll do a reverse Uno and I'll be like, actually, I can't afford the hotels anymore.

Do you want to come to my mom's house?

She hasn't become distant. She's still very loving.

God, my stomach is not happy with that vindaloo. The spice was insane. I'm definitely gonna have diarrhea.

She kind of did me a favor, I guess. Now my finances are going down the toilet as well.

Maybe I was going kind of crazy with the hotel stuff.

So I'm gonna do 4 hours. I think I'll do 2 hours of chatting and then 2 hours of Battlefield.

How about that?

I'm hoping if I hold off on the battlefield, it might tank my earnings less.

Where everyone tuning in from?

It should be criminal for these online platforms to pay you less than minimum wage. I'm putting in the hours here, I'm putting in the work.

They owe me at least $17 an hour. Any other company would get sued to oblivion.

Would I recommend Amazon Flex?

Uh, put it this way, you make more money doing a 3-hour block than you make doing 10 fucking hours on Kick.

So yeah, I would recommend it.

Maybe I'll go back home, get my mum signed up on Flex.

Yeah, I hate doing Flex.

Because the biggest nightmare is just trying to find somewhere to park without someone getting angry. You park on the road, they get angry. You park on the driveway, they get angry.

I parked in front of this guy's house, he came out raging at me. Why you go park in front of my driveway? I didn't park in front of the driveway, you dumb fuck. I parked in front of the wall. Of your house. I didn't block the driveway.

I wasn't even— I wasn't in front of the driveway. I was in front of the wall next to the driveway. I wouldn't block someone's driveway.

It's really annoying having to park up. If people don't have driveways, don't order on Amazon. Go to the fucking shop.

So I remembered his address, and the next time I got a delivery for his address, I didn't deliver it.

Actually,

I forgot what I did with the package. I just, I didn't scan it in. And I just left it in the shipping container.

Whoops, lost it.

If you don't scan it in, then no one knows that you, you saw it. If you scanned it in, then they'll be like, oh, you scanned it in, what happened to it? So just don't scan it in.

I think I've got to go Tesco on Thursday. I've got one carbonara meal left.

カルボナーラ。

Oh, I uploaded my new video.

Why I hate

Ninja Gaiden 4.

Submit.

I think the second video was funnier.

Ninja.

So recently I've been playing brand new Ninja Gaiden 4. The tip to know how to do this, you have to be mentally stupidly retarded to not know that.

Public.

Nobody in chat anymore. Yep.

Good. Oh, get lost.

Oh God,

I feel like my whole life is just put on pause because of this streaming thing.

Southwest to brace for 21 hours of rain. Isn't it great?

Air traffic controllers are becoming Uber drivers amid unpaid government shutdown.

My greatest fear.

Hmm, did I really?

Willie gets cut off.

My last YouTube stream was about 3 hours. I think it made $26, the same or more than Kick, and that was with no donos.

But I need to talk and have lots of things to talk about to keep people watching, like life updates. Or whatnot.

If I don't have anything to talk about, people start leaving.

Half an hour done. Nice. 3 and a half hours to go.

And then we do it all again tomorrow.

The magic crystallization of the, of the Top Gear trio, do you remember that happening, just going stratospheric? Yes, I think so. I think in the early days, yeah, as you became less and less about the cars and, to be honest, rather too much about us and And it was a sort of travel show as well. Because for

a lot of people, Top Gear, they would say, represented a kind of masculinity. It was a very sort of masculine program. But was it? It was too noisy and too needy in many ways to be genuinely manly. I am lucky that I was eventually— it's more like slapstick— allowed to make a living, A, having a nice time,

and B, Actually just being myself. When I started doing it, I thought, oh, this is a bit of a laugh, this might last a couple of years.

And then look, here we are, and it's only just ended. The magic crystallization of the, of the Top Gear. Hey Ollie, where are you tuning in from?

Only made $65 today. I got to grind 4 hours to get up to $100. How many hours do you work to make $100? Like 3. I got to do triple the amount you work to make the same money.

My life sucks.

$200? Oh my God.

What, euros? And that's even more than $200.

What am I doing with my life?

When did life become all about how much money can I make? So boring.

Remember when you were young and all you cared about were things you actually were interested in?

You seem down. I'm back to only making $8 an hour.

I've been streaming 10 hours, 12 hours. I'm barely making $100.

Kick slapped me down to a lower tier. Of

hourly pay. Oh.

It's the Amazon warehouse of the streaming world.

I don't know what metrics they're kicking me down for. Just seems to be random

engagement, something.

I think there's different tiers and they either move you up or down.

I

remember when I started Kick, I was getting 100+ genuine viewers. I was making £16, £17, £18 an hour.

I'm not willing to do anything interesting to keep people coming back

because the thing— only thing I can do really that's interesting is go to Japan. And like get married again. I can't be bothered.

What, Tazo?

Are you talking about Tazo, the 500 viewer static boring guy? Yeah, but he actually goes traveling, does stuff.

When do I go back to YouTube? I don't know. Can it drop below $8 an hour?

If it drops down to like $5 an hour, I'll make $50 doing 10 hours, then yeah, I'll go back to YouTube.

Yeah, and then you go traveling and okay, you just say you make more money. Now your expenses are insane because you got hotel, travel fees, eating out. You don't have a kitchen.

So then what's the point?

Now you're old and grumpy. Yeah, this house is stressing me out.

Yeah, but even if I move back home, it's the same thing. I was at home for 2 weeks,

I was getting like 50, 60 viewers.

And I was still just trapped streaming all day. At least I did some delivery work.

I can't have my whole content revolve around where I'm living and who I'm dating. So what, I gotta move house every 6 months?

So either I just gotta give this up and get a job, or I don't know what to do.

Stop being boring.

Is it automated with Kick to let you know what you're making? Well, I just divide the amount I make by the hours I streamed to get my hourly rate.

Why can't I be that Asmongold, have 20,000 viewers?

Yeah, I don't want to have to do insane stuff to get viewers. It's not worth it.

I'd rather just get a job.

Did I get bored of Battlefield? No, but I think playing Battlefield is tanking my earnings.

Chat's completely dead. When I play Battlefield,

you can learn something you enjoy. I don't enjoy anything. That's the problem.

Easy for him if he likes flying. I don't like anything. Oh, what do you learn when you don't enjoy anything?

Everyone who enjoys something has it so easy in life

because then you can just try and do that as a job, or at least you can do it for fun and have fun. I don't have fun doing anything.

Nothing is fun.

I had fun sweeping the floor. Oh, when you become a janitor, why don't you shut up?

Yeah, I enjoy eating pot noodle. Maybe I'll become a professional pot noodle taster. Pot noodle taste tester at the pot noodle factory.

Yeah, I like sweeping the floor, and I like when I get all the little bits of hair and dust gathered in a pile, and I like when I suck it up with my vacuum.

And I like adding up how much money I have.

Oh, why do I have to like doing anything?

I like when I put my ladder up a wall and I climb up the wall on Battlefield 6,

and then I kill someone with my shotgun.

嗯。哒哒哒哒哒哒哒。

Yeah, but people like Asmongold. He's got a good attitude to life and he has fun talking about the stuff he talks about.

People liked me as well before I became all miserable.

People used to think I was inspiring. Moving to Japan and getting married.

But then I became a degen and had sex with all the fangirls and then became depressed.

And then people didn't like me anymore.

None of my mods are online anymore.

I don't know why some people— I think all there is to life is traveling.

I used to think people were boring if they never left their own country in over a year. I used to think, how have you been in the same country for over a year?

Do your fans have to send food again? No, it's fine.

Still making $3K a month. I just— I mean, the money I'm making is still good. It just means I've got to stream all day for like 10 hours.

I just wish I could make the same money for less work.

You're already making $8 an hour? No, for the last few weeks it went up to like $15 to $20.

But it's back down to 8 now.

I don't know why it dropped. Maybe Battlefield 6

just doesn't get the viewers engaged.

So I'm going to do an experiment— 2 hours talking only. See what the rate's like then, and then I'll come back and do another 2 hours Battlefield 6.

We've done 1 hour, 1 hour left.

He did— I'm dead. He did

I fell off so bad. Yeah, I'm sick. I've been sick nearly 2 weeks now. Uh, no, I've been sick like 1 week, I think.

Well, I've already done 1 hour, so only 1 hour more of talking.

My dream used to be I wanted to travel, vlog it, and the vlogs paid for the travel, you know, like Howard Boulder.

And I'll be like, I get to travel free, YouTube's going to pay for it.

I used to think that was so cool, but I could never get any views doing it.

I love the idea of just filming the thing, it pays for the thing.

I love the idea of, I don't know, buying food and then you film the food and it pays for the food.

It feels like free food.

I made— wow, $2.62 from my Battlefield video. That's like a 1% discount.

Free game.

What the hell are these weird fake job adverts? Domino's Pizza, £100 an hour.

This must be fake.

Anything interesting on YouTube?

M5 chip MacBook Pro is boring.

We're trying to write a song about Horxton cider that won't get banned. Is there a song we've got?

Yeah, I sold my Beyond Meat, £10 profit.

Oh God, it ripped. Uh.

It— what? It ripped 25% since I sold it.

I sold it like 2.8, 2.9.

Uh, why?

It went up 37% since my blue line. I would have made £37.

And Bitmine tanking.

Bitmine gave everything back.

Oh God,

it's going to 4.

I mean, it's like 15% away from 4.

Could get 15% gains.

It could get 15% gains from here to 4. It's not really worth risking it for £15, so I'm not putting in more than £100.

Yeah, it does do these squeezes a lot, doesn't it?

The one squeeze did 92%. This squeeze, it did 80%.

Yeah, but it's just gambling, isn't it?

I'll buy £20 worth.

I mean,

I've got £20,

so I mean, if it does go up 20%, I'll make £4.

Really messed up with Bitmine. I was up £240 and now I'm

down £21.

Yeah, how many times do I have to say I talk to her every day? Why, why would we not? If we didn't talk for one day, you would hear me whining. I'd be like, she didn't text me all day.

Trust me, you would hear me whining about it.

If I'm not saying anything, it's cuz everything's

Fine.

Yeah, I say good morning. I'm up £1 on my Beyond Meat, up 5% already.

I told you, but you didn't listen.

Light strategy is not moving at all.

Maybe I'll go long and short on Beyond Meat at the same time.

Ew,

to think I'd be up £700 if I had taken profit on BMNR.

The result of all the longs and shorts, uh,

The result is down £20 in total for the whole day.

Well, it tanked earlier, but only one of the shorts got triggered out. So all the other shorts are still open and the market kind of bounced back up.

Uh, every time I go long, it tanks again.

Then I don't take profit on the shorts and then it rips again. And then I got long and then it tanks again.

But today, if I add up all my realized gains,

I made 20 pence,

£2.43, £2.90, £5,

£3.10, £3.60,

£6.50, £7.10, £7.20, £7.70, £8, £8.20, £8.70, £9.70, £11.80.

I made £8.80, I lost £12,

so in total I lost £3,

and then I made £10 Beyond Meat.

So complete waste of time.

Didn't make nothing.

It's just been so hard to read the chart today because I don't know, it's just like kept going up and down, up and down randomly.

Like nothing made any sense.

What's a WFH job?

I don't even know what it is.

Why net worth explodes after $100K?

I wish explodes downwards.

A bit— mine's really dead. That's just so flat.

This week's not been great for me for trading.

It nearly hit $4, $3.84 on Beyond Meat.

It's tanking now.

I want a bag of Haribo.

No, I don't like the egg. I like anything red, and I like the Coca-Cola bottles. I like biting the top off like it's the bottle cap.

I like pretending you gotta remove the cap off the top. I like the teddy bear ones as well, bite their heads off.

Beyond Meat tanking. I'm down 2%.

What time is it? 8:25.

Da da da da da da da, da da da da da da da. Whoa, it just ripped.

What's in store for tomorrow? Let me think.

My biggest fear is I stream all week and then you get to the last day on Tuesday And then I don't know, you get banned or something, or they redact all the money.

Do you think they could do that?

But what can I do? I got to keep streaming. I can't not stream because I'm scared I might not get it.

Yeah, I think they'll pay what's owed, but, uh, they could always say, oh, this was a violation, that was a violation.

The first thing I click on my video, I'm going.

He just doesn't care anymore.

They're going long beyond me on the Trader TV live show as well. Um, it's the 200 that's something to watch out for, so I might get some more. I'm still long at 4 and change. If we get something at 5, we'll average it up. You know, we did the same there with SoFi. We averaged up into that

stock too.

I made 633 this week on Kick.

After this stream, um, might be able to get it up to 660. 660 in a week,

it's like 2,600 in a month. Plus $300 YouTube, $200 OnlyFans.

It's about $4,000 a month at this rate.

How many hours? Every single day, all day long.

Every waking hour of the day with just tiny breaks here and there.

If this is how tired I feel for a low-effort stream, oh God, imagine what a non-low-effort stream would make you think.

Which feels like a lot of effort.

Antidepressants? Don't they make you fat or have weird side effects like you lose your sex drive?

Gold tanking.

Where everyone tuning in from tonight?

Where everyone tuning in from?

And there was something nice about delivering and then finishing it. It felt rewarding.

I wouldn't mind doing a delivery. Maybe I haven't been out of the house in ages. It's been like 2 weeks since I've been out of the house.

I think last time I drove my car was

When I came back from my mum's house. Oh no, it was when I went to Tesco last week, I guess.

No, I don't like being miserable.

I don't want to be miserable.

I don't like night driving. Can't see anything.

Well, maybe there's like a part of my brain that likes it because that's usually my content all revolves around being miserable, and I get more viewers by ranting, and I rant more when I'm miserable.

So it's like always been connected— misery connected to money.

Beyond Meat tanking.

嗯，嗯，嗯哼哼哼哼，嗯，到。

This is so depressing.

Yep, at least you're not me. If it's depressing watching, imagine being me.

My only one joy was seeing my girlfriend every weekend, and then she took it away.

Imagine losing an eye. Yeah, that would suck, I guess.

But I never lost an eye, so I wouldn't know. Whoa, Beyond Meat tanking! I'm down 5%. I'm down 70p.

I'd probably still be depressed even if I made $35 million. Because I'd buy all the stuff I want and then I'd be bored again. Like, Battlefield 6 is still Battlefield 6 whether it's on low graphics or high graphics.

Phone's still a phone whether it's £500 or £1,000.

Although you'd have money so you could do stuff like buy a house. Get a nice car. You have like, you have more distractions because you have the money to buy them. But then once you've gotten all the distractions, then you're bored again

until you've bought everything you want. And then you start just buying things you don't even want, like VR headset,

barbecue.

Jacuzzi. And then you got all the stuff you want, then you start wanting freaky sex, and then you end up on Epstein's Island like Prince Andrew,

and then you're fucked.

I think even if you're good at day trading or trading, I still don't think it's very fulfilling. You're still just staring at charts going up and down. You're not making anything. You're not helping anyone. You're not changing anything.

Sometimes I see clips of that TJR Trader guy who makes or loses like $30K in a trade. And he's just like me. He's just sitting there in front of the screen staring at it saying, come on, go down, come on, go up.

It doesn't look like it fulfills you.

It still seems like a miserable existence.

Imagine losing $30K in a trade.

But then if you're doing that, $30K should not be much to you.

Because you should have like millions in the bank. Because if it does mean a lot to you, then you're kind of an idiot risking that much.

28 minutes, then end stream, see how much I made from these 2 hours, and then battle for wood. He did. Oh, that he did.

You did.

Wow, Jurassic World Evolution 3 now available.

8:45. That means I'll be finishing at 11 today.

What is not good? Making $8 an hour. That's not good.

Yeah, well, no one asked for your view, TB, did they?

And that's my view.

My view of your view is no one asked about your view. £6 an hour. Yeah, it's like minimum wage from 1996.

Mm, will I ever get a real job? Don't know. It depends what happens to Kick.

Depends how much I want to be able to have a girlfriend and like do stuff, because then I need money.

If I feel like I don't care anymore, then I'll just go back to Mum's house being broke.

40-year-old, no job, $500 a month on YouTube.

Do I regret wasting 200K?

Uh, maybe, but I just wouldn't have the self-control to say No to all the girls, no to all this stuff.

Like, do you really think I could have said, oh, no thanks, for Mila?

Of course not.

Like, I'm already on the verge of blowing all my money to see this current girl. The only thing stopping me is she stopped me. Otherwise I would have blown all my money booking hotels.

I think I could have gone 5 years without the temptations of girls and tech.

Would have taken insane self-control.

Would have meant I had to sit there doing nothing for 5 years.

I get bored and I want to meet girls and I want to buy tech.

No

work, just sit on my hands for 5 years doing nothing.

Yeah, but all those things were for girls. Tickets, hotel, restaurants. I mean, it's all wrapped up into the pursuit of girls, isn't it?

Can't believe you took Foster to the ryokan. Yeah, £380 for one night.

It was like £280 for the room for 2 people and then like £150 for the dinner. She thought I was crazy.

It was fun though. It was really nice. I really loved the sauna. I mean, onsen. The dinner was not great, but it was a fun experience. 8-course meal. You get to feel fancy and rich next to all the other rich people.

To be honest, I'd rather have Pot Noodle and a McDonald's.

It wasn't that great.

One of the courses was just like pea soup and then One of the courses was literally just a plate of salad with celery. No, it was like salad with broccoli with a bit of sauce.

It's like 2 bits of broccoli and some salad. And then the final course was literally just a bowl of rice, like fried rice, like a fitter in case the main dishes didn't fill you up. And then the next day, the breakfast was just a massive mountain of eggs and miso soup and one bit of salmon.

It was a fun experience.

I made a video about it and it got 3K views.

Crazy.

Yeah, because they know the portion sizes of the good food are so tiny, most people would not be satisfied. So they had to like give you a bowl of rice and chicken.

And then there was

Yeah, wagyu. 6 pieces of wagyu.

It wasn't really what I was expecting. I was hoping for like a ryokan experience that Chihiro took me to.

You know, you dress up and you got the tatami mats. But this was like a barn conversion into a fancy room.

It wasn't like a proper ryokan, Japanese style.

I saw Chris's video and I thought, I want to do that.

Treat my girlfriend before I ditch her.

That must have been such a mindfuck for her.

She probably just didn't understand why I was doing it. Like, if you don't like me, why are you with me?

I don't know, because I had no one else and I want to do stuff.

I should maybe only date people you actually like, maybe.

Oh well, I want to have a life and like travel and go to a restaurant and do that and do this.

I still think it was a fun experience. I like the bit where the train only comes every 4 hours or something. We missed the last one, so we were sitting in that little wooden hut at the station Trying to figure out how the fuck do we get from

wherever that place was called all the way back to Osaka.

And then we had a problem with the Suica card. You know, my Suica card on my iPhone still says travel in progress.

So what happened was I loaded up the Suica cards with like ¥20K. We tapped in at Shinjuku to get on the train to the ryokan, but the station at the ryokan didn't have the electronic tap thing. So I was like, okay, so how do we tap out? So the station guy just says, oh, you'll have to tap

out at a bigger station.

I forgot exactly how I did it, but we did some kind of trick where we didn't have to tap out. So I never paid for the trains. And then there was still like ¥20K on the Suica cards. So we just spent it all at— because you could use the Suica cards for food. At supermarkets and konbinis, even

though there was a pending traveling thing on it.

It was quite clever. So I just went to supermarket, blew all the money, bought loads of food, and, uh,

got away without having to pay like ¥5,000 to ¥7,000 for the train ticket.

I remember we were getting the— what was it? It wasn't a bullet train. It was like a high-speed train from Shinjuku to the place. And I didn't realize I had to get a reserved ticket because I just bought the base ticket. So she stood there on the platform with all the bags and I ran off to find

the ticket machine to get the reserved tickets.

I got the reserved tickets for the seating, but they weren't together. And I ran all the way back and the train had arrived and she was like, where were you, baby? And I was sprinting down the platform and then we sat in our seats, but I sat in someone else's seat so I could sit next to her.

But the seat I was sitting in was already booked by someone else getting on later down the line. So then the woman who booked the seat eventually arrived and she was like, And I was like, oh shit, now I've got to explain in Japanese. So I said, can I— do you mind if we switch seats? And she

was like, まあ大丈夫ですけど. She didn't sound really pleased, but she agreed.

I was worried she's going to be— I don't know, Japanese people can be such sticklers for rules. Like, oh no, that's my seat, I cannot bend the rules. This is Japan.

Yeah, then I ran. Yeah, I had, I had to get— because my flight was in the morning, her flight was in the evening. I left the hotel a bit late, ended up getting to the airport after everyone had already boarded the plane. And I was like, where's the queue? So I go up to the counter and I

show them my ticket and they're like, oh, they're already— they finished boarding. And I was like, what? But I haven't boarded. How can they finish boarding when I haven't boarded?

So they did some phone calls and they gave me a fast-track thing so I could go through security with the cabin staff of another plane. And then I sprinted like a rugby player to the gate, and I had to get on a shuttle bus thing as well. And they were waiting there for me. God, I was so

scared I was gonna miss the plane. I get to my seat, I'm like, I'm dripping with sweat. It's horrible. I can't believe how dumb I was leaving it so late.

And that was the last time I ever saw Fasnet. I remember her standing in that doorway of that apartment

as I said bye.

I still remember what she looked like. Jeans on, the white top, her hair down, face looking sad. Every time I had to say goodbye to her, it broke my heart.

I still remember when I left Thailand before she went to America.

God, I cried so much. It's like you're queuing up and you're trying, you're thinking, don't cry, don't cry, don't cry, and then you just, you can't hold it back. And then you watch them walk away, you see you're waving, and then eventually they leave, and then you just watch them disappear. Through the doors and then you're like,

oh, fuck. Okay, I've got to focus. Just get to the gate. Just got to focus on the task. Focus on the task at hand.

International dating is rough. Saying goodbyes at the airport are probably the hardest things I've ever had to do.

So sad.

Just feels like, I don't know, like you're never gonna see them again. Like anything can happen in between.

I don't think I booked it to leave first on purpose.

I gave her my Suica card. I said, here, you can use this because you had time to kill.

They were good times.

Sad times, but good times.

2023 and '24, very memorable.

I did a lot of stuff in those years.

The bar hopping, the Korean woman, Mizuki, blood bucket,

the craziness of Japan last year with the police. Whoa, market tanking.

Wait, did it close? Oh yeah, 9 o'clock. Well, 9 more minutes, end my 2-hour experiment, toilet break, and back for 2 hours Battlefield.

Sometimes I wonder if I want to go back to Asia and have another adventure. Maybe if I end up single again without this house, I'll leave my car at my mum's house.

I just feel like I can't because I owe my mum so much money. Would not be right.

Oh, hey, Flames.

Where are you tuning in from?

Whoa,

tanking! Take profit triggered, 28p and 24p and 21p. Holy shit, 3 of my shorts just got triggered out at take profit zones.

I just made fucking

90 pence. Holy shit, you were going to buy Thai Elite Visa for 15K? Yeah,

we are tanking. 3 of my shorts just got taken out.

19— 90 pence.

Profit's a profit, and no one ever went broke taking a profit. Ain't that the truth?

Damn, we tanking.

There's never been a dull moment in Japan for me. Each trip's been different.

I guess that's why people keep wanting me to go back to Japan, I guess.

Yeah, I wanted it back as well. That's why I got kind of weird with Chihiro and I got in trouble. I miss those days so much. 2018, life in Japan, vlogging my life, YouTube.

But you have to move on, don't you?

Osaka Castle. Dalton boring. Shinsei bitchy. Classic places.

Iconic. Ever since 2010, those places have been

part of my life.

My first time in Japan was 2010 in Osaka. I remember going to Nagai Koen with that Korean woman. I remember she got mad at me. She stormed off on her bicycle. And then I followed from behind. I don't know why I like followed her behind on my bike. I had a lot of drama with that woman too.

It's just I never documented it.

Now I'm still younger than she was when I first met her. She was 37 back in 2010. I was 21. 15-year age gap.

I'd finish my language class in Shinsaibashi. She'd be waiting outside. If it rained, she'd be waiting there with an umbrella. She looked so happy to see me.

She'd be waiting there with an umbrella, and we'd link arms under the umbrella, go back to the guest house.

See all our friends and make food. Kimchi rice and Spam miso soup.

I had such an adventurous life.

It's funny it's become like this.

It was so romantic,

like some weird anime or like drama thing. 15-year age gap, forbidden love.

I was learning Korean.

Didn't have any skeletons in my closet yet. I was fresh to the world.

Yeah, I had dreams. I'm going to get an apartment, have a Japanese wife. She makes me miso soup.

I

wanted that life so badly, and then I had it, and then I threw it away because I wasn't happy with it. Once you get it, you don't want it anymore. When you don't have it, you want it, because how can you want something that you already have?

Make a prediction how much you'll make this stream. Could they? Okay, how much will I make per hour for this stream. It's too long.

Less than $10 per hour. More than $10 per hour.

5-minute.

Uh, too long. Less than

Ah, it says it's too long.

Okay, vote quickly because it's been 2 hours already. Actually, you can still vote even if I end the stream. Okay, it's been 2 hours.