[2020-04-17] My problem with Mila (The Dutch girl) [724IAe2I2to]

So it's been about 5 days since Mila left, and I thought now would be a good time to talk about— to try and explain the problem I had with her last week. If you remember a few streams ago, we had a bit of an argument, a bit of a falling out, because apparently I said she was annoying and she heard me say that on the stream and she was really upset. So before I start talking, let me just show you some clips from that stream, which I took down now because I felt kind of embarrassed. About it after watching it again, and I felt kind of ashamed of my reaction to the situation at the time. But I'll show you some clips from that stream now just so you have some context. Oh, she's standing outside. She's watching the stream.

So annoying.

Why is this so loud?

I saw what you said about me and I'm upset.

What did I say?

That I'm annoying.

I didn't say that.

So I'm not gonna inconvenience you anymore and I'm leaving tomorrow. And I kind of want to slap you in the face, but I'm not gonna do it.

I didn't say you're annoying. Leave me alone.

You're fake, bitch. You know, guys, the reason why I like Daniel is because he's honest on his channel, but actually he's just faking it and he's a motherfucker. And yes, I'm mad.

Are you done?

Yes, I'm done. I don't know.

I think she saw the beginning of the stream before it disconnected.

Off.

What?

Just wanted to say you don't have to be scared that I'm going to murder you. I already said what I needed to Can you stop the scream?

Why?

Because dinner is gonna be ready soon and I don't want it to be awkward downstairs.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Yeah.

So stop it.

I will.

What?

I don't want to have to explain myself to your mom, so stop this stream before she's gonna ask me questions.

What?

Don't be annoying, just stop it.

I will.

Why can you not be a normal human being and just turn it off and talk? Okay, I slapped you in the face, I'm sorry. Do you want to slap me?

No.

So that was the stream from last week. I think it was 2 streams ago, and I feel so stupid watching it now. I feel so embarrassed that I got so annoyed over something so petty and so small, and I wasn't very nice to her. I mean, she wanted me to stop streaming so we could talk, and she wanted to apologize to me, but I kept refusing to turn off the stream, and I kept asking her to go away. And after watching it now, I do feel kind of silly, but at the time I was really annoyed, and I think Maybe I get annoyed at people over silly things too easily, and maybe if you're thinking about meeting me in the future and you're worrying about this happening to you, let me just say that I don't think there's a single person in the world that I've met who I didn't find annoying in at least one or two ways. Everyone in the world does things that annoys me, and it doesn't mean that I hate the person or hate you. It just means that I usually find at least a few things annoying about people. Usually it's because of how loud they are or because of things they do to me that I dislike. I think one of the main things I dislike people doing is when they are really loud in public. Now this may come to you as a surprise since, you know, I do YouTube and having attention is basically what gets me money, but in real life I don't really like drawing attention to myself. So in real life I'm very quiet outside in public, and I dislike it when people are loud and they shout at me or call for me in a really loud voice because it just draws attention to us and everyone looks up and they look at me or they look at us and they can hear what we're saying, and it's kind of embarrassing. And I just prefer it if the person I'm with outside in public is not really, really loud. If it's in an empty field or an empty supermarket where there's no people, then I don't really mind because there's no one around. But if we're in a confined space where there's lots of other people, I don't really like bothering people. So I don't really like to be loud in public spaces is what I'm trying to say. And the other reason why I was so annoyed during that whole argument thing with Mila was because she kind of became physical with me when we were arguing, and I don't mind it when girls are physical with me. I actually feel kind of flattered that they feel, um, they feel comfortable enough with me to be physical. But when we're arguing and it's not in a playful setting, I don't really like being physically touched because I'm not really in a playful mood during those times. Something my ex-wife used to do a lot when we had arguments, she'd get really angry and then she would put her hands around my neck, or she would slap me, or she would, you know, bonk me on the head. And it wasn't really painful, it was more— it was just kind of annoying. And I'd prefer it if, um, I'd prefer it if my physical boundaries were not violated when we're having some kind of argument. And I know that I— it's probably my fault for making that person angry, so angry in the first place, but I don't think it matters. I don't think it matters how angry you are or what the reason is. You should never become physically aggressive with the person you're arguing with during an argument. You should express your anger in any other way. For example, you could shout or swear or maybe break something, but I just think you should never touch the person you're arguing with because then that just leads to Bones getting broken, blood being spilt, and it's just not pretty. So after I finished the livestream from that day, I turned it off, I went down for dinner, and me and Mila had dinner in silence. And then after dinner, we had a good long talk about what just happened, and we apologized to each other. So everything was fine for the last few days. We, we made up and everything went back to normal, which was great. have been greater if that whole kerfuffle never happened in the first place, but since we can't go back in time and change things, um, that's unavoidable now. I think the reason, the main reason why it happened in the first place was because on that day I just felt really moody and kind of irritable, and I started streaming and I started ranting, and you know me, I start to get a bit carried away when I start ranting, and I started ranting about her, which I shouldn't have. And maybe I said too much and I was too harsh. And when she burst into my room confronting me for saying those things, maybe I should have just said sorry and I should have backed down. But instead, I kind of got defensive and I got annoyed, more annoyed back at her, and that just made everything much worse.

Thank you.

See whether you like it. I like it. It's the pain tea.

Because last time I tried it, it's nice.

This is the pain one.

Can I have some?

It tastes good.

Take this.

Put it in my bottle.

No. Why? Don't be stupid.

Try it.

No, I don't want it.

Sit. No. Can't put in your bottle. Why not?

That's ridiculous.

Sit it. I go and get a straw. Are they nice?

Yeah, I like it. It's so good.

Tastes like strawberry raspberries.

Hmm.