Kick Livestreams/my life is ruined 2025-07-28 06_31 [81382354-my-life-is-ruined] 480p

Yeah, we went to the phone shop. It was 2020. I think they just released the Samsung Galaxy Fold phones. I remember he was opening the Fold and he said it was like a Bible.

It was at that moment I thought, I want to get this phone, it's so cool. I bought it when I got home. It was nearly £2,000, the first Galaxy Fold. Ugly monstrosity compared to the new ones.

Yeah, just before the pandemic, and then he left, and I think Eugene left as well. Then I thought, oh shit, I better leave too. Everyone left.

Everyone freaked out and flew back to their own country.

He was really into learning Korean. He kept talking to Korean people any opportunity he could.

We were going to do a live stream. He took me back to his Airbnb and we were going to do a live stream where I go live but I'm not in the stream and he's in the chair in front of the camera. And then my viewers be like, who's this guy? Where's Daniel? And I'll be going, help!

We came up with this little fake script. But for some reason we couldn't get his Wi-Fi to work, so we just gave up. His Wi-Fi would just not turn on.

He was going to pretend he kidnapped me or something. He was going to say, Daniel is currently preoccupied, guys.

Yeah, it was a good time. That's why I was excited when he seemed like he was going to come to Thailand.

I thought it would also help me feel like, you know, like reconnect to my old self from 2020,

because I felt like that kind of died or fizzled away. My old YouTuber self.

So we go live and we do a video,

make some content in Thailand. I'll show him around. I'd maybe teach him, tell him about how Thai language works.

He doesn't seem interested in Thai. He's more interested in Chinese and Japanese and Korean because I think he likes those girls. I don't think he likes Thai girls. He seems more into Japanese than Korean girls.

I think he only learns the language if he likes the girls.

Same like me, to be honest.

Apparently the police in Japan went to my guest house many times before they finally got a hold of you. Really? All you'd have to do is watch my livestream and you would know exactly where I am. Not very smart of them, is it? They're supposed to be like detectives, aren't they? They said they were Keiji, which means

detectives. Not very good detectives if they can't just watch my stream and figure out where I am.

Imagine struggling to get a hold of me when I'm literally live all day. What kind of place is that?

Why would you keep going to the guest house to get a hold of me when all you gotta do is look at my livestream and see that I'm not at the guest house?

I hate when the police just show up unannounced. Why can't they tell you or let you know, like, we're gonna visit you on blah blah blah? They just show up unannounced and scare the crap out of you.

All they had to do is send me a message like, hello Daniel, this is the police, please come to the station.

Why do they like to just suddenly like ambush you out of nowhere? They're like, hey Daniel, okay, you could have warned me or just told me something. Why don't they just put a letter in the door saying, this is the police, we came earlier, please come to the station? I don't get it. Why can't they just do

that? What's with the surprise? Surprise,

Billy! I always wonder if I'm in the shower naked and the police come and they're banging on the door. And then they just bust in because they think I'm like trying to destroy evidence. And I'm like, I'm in the shower. And they're like, no, you're not. We know what you're doing. And I'm really in the shower and

I'm just naked. They're like, don't move. Okay, but can I put a towel on?

Kind of cold.

What if I'm like having a shit on the toilet and they just bust in?

Can I at least finish in white?

Neat toilet.

Toilet, then exercise.

Muscle time. We're going to start off with the 15 kg.

Nice.

Oh,

my head hurts.

Wow, I'm great.

Oh, that's

all I can do.

Weak, weak,

poor effort.

I don't know why it's I couldn't grip it very well. It was hurting my skin.

I wasn't feeling it.

Oui, on est trop près.

Ripping.

50 push-ups? No thanks, already done 30 this morning.

Kiss the bicep.

Bend the knee.

I think discipline is very important. Yeah, I'm kind of lazy and I don't like cleaning. I don't even have a job. How about you?

What was that weird noise?

I'm done.

Can't be bothered.

Oh wait, why am I taking it off? Put it back on. All right, it's the best I can do for today.

Just not really feeling it.

Ooh, I don't know where that big moth's gone. It must be dead, but I don't see it lying around anywhere.

Ah, my new lights.

Nice, it's like twinkling purple stars.

So currently feeling like,

I don't know, at first I felt excited to go to Thailand. After that phone call, I feel like a lot of women are going to be like that,

and now I'm like, I don't know.

What's the point?

It's probably a good idea to have a phone call before meeting. I think you can, you can tell if you're gonna like them or not just from a phone call. I don't think meeting her in real life would have made it any worse or better. She still would have just yapped my head off,

and then I'd be desperately trying to hide the fact that I'm only interested in her because she looks good.

And then she'll be pissed if she feels that way. She'll be pissed if she realizes that's

why I'm interested. Like, she asked me why did I pick her, and I said because I like your pictures. I mean, what else was I supposed to say?

What do you mean, why did I choose you? I literally press like on every single woman, but you think I've only chosen you out of all the women on the app?

I'm talking to loads of other women. You're not the only one I've chosen.

You're just the only one that has phoned me up.

Yeah, I can't be bothered playing all these games where you're supposed to lie to them, because if you tell them the real answer, they'll be like, um, thanks for letting me know so I don't waste my time with you. Yeah, that's why you're not going to get the honest answer, because that's what's going to happen.

I was excited though in the beginning.

She sounded cute.

Then she said, maybe you'll block me tomorrow, as if she has a lot of experience getting blocked. Why bring that up?

I won't block you, I'm just not going to talk to you again.

She's

29. Hmm.

I don't know.

I really don't know.

I want to get away from here, but then I also like it here. It's really confusing.

I want to go to Thailand, but

It's going to feel sad and lonely.

I don't have any special someone.

I don't have anyone with like a special connection with anymore.

Feel so alone in the world.

I don't know what I'll do with the house and car. I like my car. I like driving about.

I want to do more trips.

Yeah, I still want to stay in Devon.

I'm just— I'm not really seeing a clear sign

for my next move.

The confluences aren't lining up. Everything's like muddled and cloudy. I don't see a clear path. I need a lighthouse shining down on me, showing me the way.

A lighthouse. I'm like a ship at sea sailing through the stormy waves, surrounded by fog.

I don't know where, which direction to go.

Looking for a sign,

anything.

I'm just drifting

round and round in circles.

Pan

the sky.

Those weren't even signs. It's not what a sign is.

None of those things are signs of what I should do next. I'm a dumbass.

Are those bats flying around?

Really weird to be surrounded by bats.

I had 180 viewers earlier watching me buy a breadstick. Let's see how my kicks are dying.

How many viewers do I have at Tesco? Like 170.

So those earnings are gonna be amazing. I might even make $300 today.

Not dying at all.

Recent events have actually, um, made my numbers go up.

Now before the recent events, I was down to like 90 viewers, 80 viewers.

Gonna make bank. I'll make like £1,600 this week, probably.

Just took a little bit of activity.

Tomorrow, go to the firing range, see what the army left behind. Any more snotty shirts?

The army's been at the firing range last week, I think. According to the government website, they held firing drills at Willsworthy. Should be clear tomorrow. As long as there's no red flags, I should be able to enter.

I'm nervous about phoning the lawyers.

I've got to rehearse what I'm going to say as if I'm making a YouTube video. I always remember I had this story I wanted to tell,

but there were so many points to cover, but I had to tell the story in a chronological order. So I'd practice it in my head, you know, in the beginning of the day. You wake up, have coffee, brush teeth, shower. The whole time I'd be rehearsing in my head how to say what I'm going to say. Then

I'm finally ready to shoot the video and I sit down in front of the camera.

Consultation, it's 15-minute free. Thank you.

I reckon I can explain the whole thing in 30 seconds. It's not really complex.

I just explain what I do for a living, what I talk about,

that kind of stuff. What am I allowed to say or not say?

Can't I get the lawyer to speak on my behalf?

Oh gosh, it'll be weird, wouldn't it? I got to be on camera as well. I don't know how many people are going to be watching. The judge will be watching. It's going to be so weird,

like doing a live stream, but instead of having just chat, it'll be like actual another person on camera.

Yeah, will she or he be in court? The judge, I meant.

I thought you meant the judge.

I'm talking about the judge.

Oh God.

Will the judge be in the courtroom on camera?

I'll wear my Volkswagen t-shirt. Looks quite smart

as long as you don't see the back.

Put my beauty skin filter on.

Can't I get an attorney to speak on my behalf?

I don't know what to say.

Oh wow, congrats, brief. 嗯，我的脸。我的脸。

Hmm, why doesn't your name pop up?

Oh, I have to get up and go to the computer.

Yeah, done it. 会有我。

August. Oh no, this whole year is such a mess, isn't it?

This whole year just started off terribly.

I had high hopes for this year as well.

The very beginning of it starts off fighting with my mum.

I want to try my new vanilla extract in some cupcakes with eggs. This time it's not going to be flat.

It has been such a crazy year this year. Every year is just craziness, isn't it? Why is it like that? I think my life has just gone crazier since I started YouTube. Didn't used to be like this.

It's definitely gotten me in a lot of trouble.

It's like I don't even try to make content. Stuff just happens.

I just sit here and stuff happens even though I didn't make it happen.

Directly, like the Turkey Tom thing happening, then all these crazy girls like Crypt,

and then losing my job at Every, and then Kick. God, we're only halfway through the year as well.

Next 5 months will bring for this year.

Hmm.

I wonder if I'm ever gonna get a new girlfriend. Sometimes I feel like I'm never gonna meet a new person.

I don't even know if I want a new girlfriend.

I don't even know what I want to do.

I keep flip-flopping between Do I ditch this place, go Thailand, or do I like it here?

Travel would be good for the channel.

I don't really know what I want to do.

I mean, I don't really want to travel around Thailand. I just want to go Bangkok and just walk around

and try and interact with people.

Try and

meet someone.

Yeah, I thought maybe like Kyushu and get a car.

Now I'm a pro driver.

I'm sure driving around Kyushu can't be that much different to Devon. I stay away from the cities.

I wonder what driving in Japan's like.

No roundabouts, I guess.

Get a Subaru Impreza.

Journey around Kyushu.

Get like a—

I don't know, like a van and sleep in it.

Walking around on hills in Japan and driving.

So it has to go to the post office to get the international driving permit.

Why don't they do it online?

They've just got a stack of papers saying international driving permit. What's the point?

How is it different to just having your license?

Isn't it, um, if you've got a UK driving license, they'll just let you drive in Japan, but if you've got an American driving license They won't let you.

Because I remember Ice couldn't drive in Japan, so he had to get Hugh. That's how he met Hugh, because Hugh had a license. Apparently Americans need to like pass a test in Japan.

The Japanese don't trust American driving skills.

I got scammed. I went on this website and I thought it was legitimate and I paid the money.

It was like a fake international driving thing.

I phoned up the bank and they got my money back.

Do you remember I got scammed by those hookers in Manchester? Phoned up the bank, try and get my money back. I think I did get it back. They said, uh, what kind of products did you pay for? And I was like, uh, um, uh, adult content. I didn't want to say prostitutes.

How'd they scam you? Well, they asked for the money and then they didn't show up.

They said pay half up front. I said okay. I thought, yeah, it could be a scam, but what if it's real? So I took the risk, I took the gamble.

I think they said like adult content on a website, which is true, I

guess. Well, sometimes they ask money up front to avoid time wasters.

This phone's really nice. That Tesco bit, oh God, I didn't feel stupid walking around like I did with the Samsung. The Samsung S10 Plus, I just had it in my bag strap. Must have looked really weird. Did you see anyone look at the camera? I don't think anyone notices it.

Did AJ run off? No, I saw her in the chat earlier.

I think she's just too busy in Indonesia.

Too bad you can't get weed in Thailand anymore.

I heard they changed the, um,

the law about weed in Thailand. So you need like a medical thingy to be able to get it.

Should be able to end this month strong. £4,000.

Funny, I paid off the credit cards, still end the month £4,000 up.

Maybe in August I'll be up £9,000.

That'd be pretty nice.

I thought if I want to skip the driving bits in the stream, I just go there, start the stream, and then when I go home, I end the stream, and then I drive home, and then I start the stream again.

Might not be a bad idea. And I can just focus on driving home.

I don't think people want to see the back of my head for like an hour. If I— I think like 10, 15, 20 minutes, okay. But if it's an hour drive, no, I'll probably end the stream.

Yeah, I don't know how many viewers I've lost.

I have this weird obsession with having the whole stream as one VOD.

Because in the YouTube days, if you end the stream and start a new one, I'd lose half my viewers and it would take hours to get them back.

It might not even get back to as high as it was before. That's why I was desperate to not let the stream disconnect and end. No, I won't do

that.

So I might start— I might have to start driving further out to get to places I haven't been before because I can't keep going to the same places over and over and over and over and over. I'm gonna get bored.

Even I'm getting bored of Kit Hill. I do the same loop around it.

Views are nice, I guess.

Yeah, I kind of like Bog Hill Moor recently. The views of the moors and the reservoir are really nice, and I like how empty it feels, like I could just take off my shirt and shout and feel free. It's nice.

It feels weird there, like very desolate. Makes you feel very small,

but I like it.

Yeah, I'd like to go to the beach again. Beach is pretty nice. I want to try Labara at the beach. I thought Labara wasn't very good last time, but EE was really good. Could swi— swap out the swams and switch out the sims.

Take off your shoes here.

It's hard getting my feet dry again so I can put my shoes back on. I wouldn't mind some sandals, not Crocs, they're ugly, but like some rubber Adidas sandals like I had in Thailand. Yeah, I like my Adidas sandals. How nice, just slip them on, slip them off.

Now that my IRL setup's pretty good, I wonder what else I can do here. I feel like maybe I could be a bit more adventurous.

I think once you got the technical side of it sorted, you can get it out of your mind, start thinking about other possibilities.

Oh God, I got to go through the statement again and underline everything that

is a complete lie.

I don't know if I do it yet. Maybe. I mean, if I book an appointment with a lawyer, I should probably get that done.

I'll probably do it after the phone call, see if I actually have to see them and bring the paperwork.

Ah, I want to read it again.

Oh no, damn it, I knew there was chicken in here.

Yeah, it smells like cat food and farts. Chicken's got a very weird smell. Smell sometimes. It smells like farts.

Why does it smell like a fart?

If you put it in the container for a bit and then you open it and the air, the air comes out, it smells like a fart. Wet, hot, steamy fart.

Yeah,

okay, I got bored with like the whole traveling in Asia and being in Asia thing. Because I felt like it doesn't lead anywhere.

I can't get nice things like a car or a house.

I felt like I wanted these, these things

that I couldn't get overseas. Now I got it, I do like it. It does make me feel cool having a car. I like how I'm confident with it. It's just like riding a bicycle now.

I don't know, when I was in Thailand, I thought

how cool it would be to have my own car and stuff like that.

And things— I'd be happier in England than in Thailand because it's nicer, it looks nicer.

Yeah, but I don't want to live in a jungle. I don't like jungles. I like luscious European forests with pine trees and oak trees. I don't want to live in— jungle is like a hostile, sweaty, hot,

full of insects that want to kill you.

It's not nice. Luscious Oak pinewood forest is nice.

Does anyone actually like it? Like jungles?

Jungle boy.

Sticky and hot. Get bitten by a snake, big spider on your head, and then the monkeys eat you.

Don't know what I want. I want what I don't have, don't want what I have.

What do I miss from Thailand?

I miss—

I don't know what I miss.

I

don't know, really.

I miss anything that's not this.

I feel like I need to just wipe all this away and start fresh somewhere.

Just forget about this chapter of my life. I just want to like move on to a new chapter.

But then Bangkok, I've already been there, so it's not really new, is it? It's just the same thing again,

but exploring a different side of it.

But I'm running out of countries.

I know I'm pretty fussy and picky when it comes to countries. There's not a lot of countries I like.

It's got to be safe, also modern, with nice people,

which is why I like Bangkok.

Just find— I can't really find anything good about Japan that I like anymore. Never really liked South Korea much.

I don't know, something like South Korea.

Just wanted somewhere comfy and cozy to live. Focus on doing my internet stuff like YouTube videos, which is what I can do now.

I guess maybe I missed the feeling of being like, uh, privileged European in Thailand with my internet money.

But being high up in the sky in a condor is just as isolating as being in the middle of Devon. You got to put effort into reaching out to people. They're not going to reach out to you.

And how's Sam Pepper lonely? He's got a girlfriend. He's got all these Orbiter streamers trying to leech off him. Now Ice isn't around to leech off.

Sandpepper does have nice upbeat energy, I guess. He's never mopey and gloomy. He's got that big loud voice and that smirk on his face all the time, like he's having a good time all the time.

I kind of envy that. He's got that get-up-and-go kind of mentality.

19 minutes. Asia market.

What is BDE?

Body dysmorphic epidemic.

Bipolar— oh, big dick energy.

嗯。

Asmon goes live all the time.

Big day, huge drama news. Oh my God, stupid titles.

嗯嗯嗯嗯嗯。哒哒哒哒哒。

10:43. We got 1 hour 17 minutes left.

What to do? I'm bored of Thai Friendly already. That phone call just killed it for me. Are they all like that?

I prefer it when they can't speak much English and keep things dumb.

When they don't speak much English, you can like say silly things and get away with it. That one spoke too good English.

She was like putting me on the spot. So what kind of, what kind of things are you looking for, Daniel, in a person? Why did you like me? What do you like about me? Oh my God,

I felt like I was being interrogated.

Sounds like she's got some kind of weird trauma, like she got pump and dumped and then, I don't know, got PTSD. Now she's very careful about choosing the right guy.

I think she got messed about with and then it's very— she's very cautious now.

And I was putting nearly zero effort into that phone call. I was like, hmm, yeah, that's good.

Nice. Cool.

I like talking.

About an external object. So when I talk to another person, I don't like talking about feelings. I don't like talking about me or you.

I like there to be an external object like this, and then we say, oh, that's nice. Oh, look at this. Wow. It's a pen. I like talking about things with the person. I don't like talking about the person or even about me. I don't really want to talk about myself either. I do that on stream.

I call it the misdirect. Let me show you on the whiteboard.

So usually the girl

wants, uh, direct communication link with the guy like this.

They want like a back and forth between the guy and the girl. They want to talk about abstract things like feelings, love.

Like love and feelings and ideas. They want to talk about abstract things. What I want to do is I want an external object

to discuss, like an object, not an abstract thing. I don't care about political views, opinions on life and death and all that rubbish. Or, you know, like what's important in a relationship. I don't give a shit. I want to talk about our latest Samsung Flip 7 or whatever. I want to be like, oh, have you seen this

new Flip 7? It's pretty cool. I don't want to talk about money and tech. I want to like talk about an external thing.

Talk about this cool thing that I'm interested in. I'll tell you why it's cool.

That's my— that's my ideal way of communication. We don't talk about each other.

Venus drugged out in Berlin. Damn, I should join her.

That she's wet all the time.

No, she'd go psycho on me

if she finds out what I say about her.

Yeah, I don't want to have stupid deep conversations about voodoo and feelings and thoughts. I don't care.

I want to talk about actual cool things like technology

and my new Flip 7, and I don't know, I don't really want to talk about anything, to be honest.

I've got nothing to talk about apart from my, my life drama.

Talk is cheap. Talk, talk, talk, talk.

Can't we just do the thing where I put the willy in the hole

and then we can talk after?

That's if I don't fall asleep.

Uh-huh.

I

remember

seeing the Teslas.

Inside of— there

was a shopping center in Bangkok where they just had some Teslas,

like a pop-up display room in the middle, and then you could go up to them and touch them and sit inside. I thought it'd be so cool

to have a lifestyle where you can get one of these, park it in front of your house

You know that level in Hitman? It's on a beach and there's like a cool looking house on the beach and you got to sneak in. Just thought how cool would it be to have this as your house and you got a car and you're at the beach, you can buy stuff, nice TV, you can enjoy technology and

gaming, all that stuff, and you put it in your house and you have a car and you can go on a drive. You don't have to move about all the time. You have your own little place. I thought that was so cool. I love the cozy feeling.

I was— I get jealous. Like, you see couples—

remember seeing couples in Japan just buying furniture or something to decorate their house? I thought, that's so cool, they got home stability, they don't need a visa. They can make a nice cozy little home together, love each other, create a life. I wanted that. I felt like I couldn't have it if I was just aimlessly flying from

one country to another.

If I give this up and I go back to that, I'll want this again.

Which is why I can't make this decision.

I was saying,

I get jealous seeing people having pets. Because I think, damn, their life must be really stable.

Like, they really know, they've really got their shit together. They got a pet, that means they're not going anywhere. They're happy where they are.

Having a pet is like the ultimate sign of you're happy where you are. You don't need to be in some other country or fly here, fly there.

I've still got that weird scarring on my inner arms. When I moved in here, I got these skin rashes all on my inner elbow.

My sister recommended this cream and I used it and it cleared it up, but it's left these patches.

Maybe because I picked it. I was picking the dried dead skin off.

Tasted kind of like fried chicken.

I wonder if these are ever gonna fade away. Looks gross.

I remember being a kid, I used to pick my scabs and eat them.

Not in front of people though, but then one time at school I don't know, I just completely zoned out, went onto like autopilot mode. I picked my scab at school

in front of some other kid and he saw me eat it and he was like, uh, does that taste nice? And I was like, no, no, of course not, disgusting. I completely forgot I was in front of other people and I just automatically picked it and ate it. I used to get a lot of scabs playing around

in the playground, get cuts and stuff.

I don't know why, as a kid you always get a lot of little tiny grazes and scrapes and you get scabs. I haven't had a scab in ages. When's the last time do you remember you had a scab? Like a proper scab and you let it dry? Don't you love that feeling when the wound finished healing? And

now you can pick the scab off without it hurting, and it just like comes off easily, and it's like hard and dry like beef jerky.

I haven't had a scab in ages. I kind of want one. They're fun to pick. Start picking around the edges, don't you?

They're like hard on the outside, bit gooey on the inside.

Disgusting. It's like crispy as well. Put it in an air fryer, make it extra crisp.

If it's a hot girl and she got a scab, would you eat it?

Like a scab on a butt. Scab girl. Scabby.

When I phoned that Thai girl and I told her my name's Daniel, and then she repeated my name, she said my name just like Vasta says it. Daniel, like that felt weird.

Every country has their own way of saying my name. Like in Japan, Japanese, they say Daniel.

Daniel. Daniel. Daniel. I don't know why they rise the intonation towards the end. The girls just say Daniel.

And then in Korean, they're like Daniel. Daniel. They say the D like a T. It's weird. It's not Daniel.

In Thailand, they go Daniel. I forgot now. Daniel.

Only the English say my name like I say it. Daniel. Americans say weird, like Daniel. Daniel. Oh, by the way, Americans say my name Daniel.

Daniel, you know there are things called a diary?

Ever heard of a diary?

These stupid YouTubers like Elvis Alien suggesting I use a diary. Okay, can I make quarter of a million dollars by writing in a diary? No? Then shut the fuck up. Making videos here. These people don't realize I'm making the video so I can make money. It's not deep or anything. I'm not like, oh, I must document my

whole life because I'm scared I'm going to get dementia and it'll be nice to look back at it one day. Well, I'm trying to overcome my social anxiety. No, I'm just trying to make money. It's not deep. Just like you, you're trying to make money too.

At least I make original content. And then Moon was like, uh, you don't make original content. In my chat she said that. I was fuming. I was trying to keep cool. I was really pissed. I said, uh, what do you mean I don't make— I do make original content. And then she goes, yeah, you're right. I don't

think she really believed that. I think she just wanted to agree for the sake of agreeing.

Imagine accusing me of not making original content.

The hell was the whole Chihiro arc then? That's not original. She said, you said you copied videos. Yeah, a few,

couple here and there.

Can't get more original than this. Who else does this? Sitting on the sofa talking.

I'm probably the most original content creator in the whole world. No one does what I do.

Moon was annoying. She kept like disagreeing with me.

I hate when people disagree with me all the time

and think they're smart. She kept saying, oh, they're not freckles, they're blackheads. It all came— my whole face covered in blackheads. Sure.

She said all you need is a good exfoliator. Oh, I'll wash my face, all the little dots going to fall off, are they?

The freckles, it's deeply embedded into the skin. You can't just scrub it off.

Talking rubbish.

She was like, when we meet, I'm going to make you start using cleanser and whatever. It's rubbish. She sounded really bossy.

I already tried all this rubbish. I already tried all these products. They don't do anything.

Yeah, okay, they make your skin a bit softer, but who cares? It still looks the same. I don't care about having soft skin.

My skin's already soft enough.

Well, they're not blackheads because I used the blackhead strip and nothing comes out.

Oh, Asia market. You didn't tell me.

Oh shit.

Market ripped.

Oh God, I'm going to get margin called.

And market is still ripping.

I'm down £240 on my day trading account.

Is the market ever gonna tank?

How is this endless ripping?

Maybe after July it tanks.

Oh God,

really messed up my day trading account from $420 down to $115.

It's nearly £300 loss.

Just doesn't seem like there's anything you can do

either. Just, it just rips endlessly, so all you can do is just go long.

Looks like no clever setups. There's no SMT, there's no— I don't know,

might as well just buy and go long.

Oh

well,

one day it will thank.

I don't get why my YouTube channel is growing. It's getting new subs, but they're not watching my videos.

114k now.

Bude Beach again.

Yeah, I wouldn't mind doing Bude Beach again.

That was when I first,

first started to go outside.

It was all rainy and cloudy,

but I had a good time exploring the cliffs. It's funny, that guy who lived there was in the chat.

He said he was only watching because I was in his town.

Yeah, that's why I didn't want to meet him, because he's not a viewer. He's just some random guy who's only there because someone told him that I'm in his town. He doesn't know who I am. He never watched my channel.

What's the point?

Plans for tomorrow.

I gotta wait until 9 o'clock so I can phone the lawyer and find out if I need to book a appointment and go there. I

need to explain to them what happened.

And then after the phone call, I'll go live, talk about what happened. And then I want to go to Willsworthy Firing Range. The army should be done there. They were doing firing drills this week, the last week. I

want to explore that and then walk into the moors.

And then I want to go Golitha Falls as well. Restormore Castle. IRL is back on the menu now I've got my new phone. This Flip 7 really sorted it all out. All the problems I was having just sorted out now. Don't even need multiple Sims, I just use my Labara.

Maybe eventually Tintagel.

I was so done with IRL with the last Bellerbox failure. I was so done with it. I thought I was never going to go out again.

Tintagel was like the final boss.

I feel confident that my setup's good enough for it now.

Been grinding on Bog Hill and Kit Hill.

Dun dun dun, dun dun dun, dun dun dun, dun

dun dun.

Did I talk to my family? I've been on stream the whole day.

No, I'm not going to talk to my family.

Say what? I can't be bothered.

They won't say anything useful. They'll just say, oh, you should talk to a lawyer. Wow, thanks really.

Never thought of that to myself. My mom would just say, oh, I told you so.

You never listen to your mom.

You shouldn't have left your hero.

I don't really see how they could help.

I only got one relative who's a lawyer. My Malaysian cousin studied law,

but I don't talk to him. Actually, I messaged him when I separated with Chihiro because I was scared Chihiro was going to come after my money. I messaged him saying, do you know anything about divorce law? He said it, it depends on the country, so I don't know about Japan's divorce laws. And then my sister met him,

I can't remember when, I think last year. And then he was telling her, oh yeah, Daniel messaged me back in 2020 about divorce law. My sister thought he was trolling or just making it up. I said, no, I did. I was actually very scared Shahiro was going to come after me.

45 minutes ago. Another long day, nearly done.

It's been a long day

at work. No one else does 15-hour shifts, do they? Don't ever call me lazy,

you will rue it. You will rue it good. You will rue the day. How— what even is ruing? Like, what do you do to rue the day?

Weird phrases. You shall rue the day. Rue it real good.

You're gonna ruin the thing real good. You know what I'm saying?

I really don't want to eat that kebab chicken. I think I'll have it with some soba noodles tomorrow, spring onions. It might taste better with a bit of soup,

hoisin sauce, or maybe make noodle stir-fry.

Or maybe try the venison steak. Venison, I think it just tastes like beef, doesn't it? It's red meat.

I would like to go to a shop that isn't Tesco for a stream, like a garden center.

I don't know, something different.

I don't know what I get at the garden center.

Maybe they got something interesting.

Ah, maybe Carrie B's right. Stay single.

Nothing but trouble, isn't it? You gotta protect your own life and your own stuff.

A spade? What for?

Carrie B's always been a profound advocate of MG Tao, but she's a

girl, so WG Tao.

She is asexual.

Carrie B's been with us a long time.

Always writing her books, always saying she would never want to meet me.

No offense taken.

It's all good.

She got a bit mad when I said something about self-harm scars. So did Blood Bucket. I remember Blood Bucket and Carrie B ganged up on me when I started mentioning, uh, the English girl at the Thai school's, uh, self-harm scars. I was like, oh shit, I better shut up about this touchy,

touchy topic.

Tutti frutti.

I don't know why people do it though. It just hurts, doesn't it? And then it leaves an ugly scar. What's the point?

Just makes me think, uh, what if you get sepsis and then you got to go to a hospital?

Victoria's dad got sepsis because he cut his thumb. Or was it his lip? You can get an infection into a wound and get sepsis from it. You know, sepsis can be triggered from any kind of overreaction to fight off an infection.

You do not want to get an infection. Sepsis, no joke, it shuts down all your organs. It like overreacts, goes into overkill mode. Shoots out, floods all these chemicals into your system to kill off this bacteria, but then it also kills your own organs.

It's no joke.

Organ failure.

Guy got sepsis from popping a pimple. Are you joking?

What about dildo up the bum? What about dick infection?

Am I scared of death? I'm more scared of the pain.

I want it to be over quick if I'm gonna die. I don't want to suffer for weeks and months. Just get it over and done with.

Such a handsome man.

Won't look like this forever though. 5 more years, 10 more years. That lovely black hair will be all gray.

In 50 years' time, when we're all old and gray, no one will care anymore about the things we did or the things we said.

Maybe we'll be able to laugh it all off.

Sticks and stones, you know.

Sticks and stones break my bones, but words will never hurt me.

Ding ding ding ding.

No one messages me on Instagram anymore.

It's been like 2 weeks since anyone messaged me on Instagram.

Completely fell off.

YouTube channel only gets 2K views. It's probably why she gave up. She thought, oh, this guy's falling off big time.

I need to trim my pubes again. I think it's been— must be months since I got that hair removal cream. It's finally grown back to a point where

I need to cut it again.

I used hair removal cream for OnlyFans before Kick. It's like growing back very prickly.

Hmm, I know what I want to achieve before I die.

I

don't really know,

like if I was gonna die next week. Would I be okay with that?

I don't know. I mean, I've got the money now,

which would have been my dream 10 years ago, because now I could just like live in Japan. I remember being in my early 20s desperate to live in Japan, thinking, oh God, if I could make money online I could just stay here and go here and go there. I wouldn't have to go back to the UK and

get a job.

If you told me 10 years ago I'd be making like £6K a month, I'd be like, what are you doing in Devon? Go to Japan, man.

This is exactly— the thing is, when you're young, you want things, and then by the time you're old enough By the time you get the thing you wanted, you don't want to do the thing that you needed it for anymore.

You'll get what you want, but not when you want it. That's the annoying thing.

I mean, I do want the money, but not for the reasons I wanted it back then.

I think my dad was— wait, when's retirement? I forgot now. He died at 64. Isn't it 67 retirement age, or was it 66 back then?

I wonder if he was satisfied with what he achieved at his company. Did he feel like he helped grow it enough? I think he put a lot of— he had a lot of input in the company. Apparently when he started there, they weren't even using computers or something. They're doing everything analog, and he had to like push

Chris, the boss, into digitizing everything. And apparently it was my dad's idea to start using touchscreens for the machines.

Before they had like analog buttons.

I think he did try to, like, put— have input into the company and change things, not just sit there passively doing what he was told.

Actually, there's only 10 minutes left. To 15 hours.

Probably end in 11 minutes then.

I reckon I made quite a lot today. The viewership number was pretty high,

180. I somehow got a lot of people to come back. Maybe

I made 300, especially for 15 hours as well.

Pretty good. I hit 230 yesterday. Yesterday's numbers weren't amazing. I was just trying hard to get it back over 100.

That YouTube stream in the morning really knocks my wind out. That shocks. I can't believe 65 viewers. Holy shit, that's so bad. That's really over on YouTube.

I need a good night's rest. I need to plan what I'm going to say on the phone.

I think one of the problems is I can't really deny

some of it because, you know, I did say a lot of stuff.

Probably stream after 9, I guess. The phone call shouldn't last more than 15 minutes,

maybe like half 9.

I'm gonna make a killing this week. I'm gonna make like $1,600 maybe.

I want to end this month strong, like way above 4K,

like £4,200 in the month long would be nice.

I've got minus my Tesco shop, minus £77.

I don't know if I cancel this free trial for Hello— what's it called— Thai Friendly. Otherwise it's going to take £100.

Although I signed up to it using my Revolut, and my Revolut has no money on it, so they can't take the money out. I don't know if it's worth— I don't know. I mean, I guess you can meet women on it easily.

There just won't be any good women though.

I think the problem is the older they are, the better they are,

but then the worse looking they are. And the problem is the younger they are, the more annoying they are.

Like my other girl, 26-year-old one, she didn't reply today.

She's probably got 100 other options.

Now I don't know if I can text her again because I can't double text her, can I?

She didn't read it.

I don't understand the mentality of taking nice-looking photos where you look cute or sexy and then not being happy if the guy says he likes you because you look good. Then why did you take such good pictures? Why not take pictures where you look ugly? You want, you want the guy to like you for your personality, then

why are you advertising your good looks? That's what you put on display.

And she's got these pics where she looks kind of nice, you know, nice pose, looking good, and then she asks you why you like her. And all she's put on display is her nice pics.

Don't make yourself look hot and sexy then if you don't want the guy to be into your looks. Weird. 5 minutes. Yeah, I can tell from Just that phone call that I would not want to talk to her again.

She keeps going on and on and on about nonsense.

Why don't my cupcakes look like that?

Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. Where's the big moth? But it's dead up there somewhere.

Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun.

This thing was a pretty good purchase. I originally bought this for the car because my back was hurting,

but it was too big and it was sticking me out too forwards in the car, so I took it out. I remember putting it in, driving a bit, and then I just stopped at the side of the road to take it off because I couldn't drive like that.

My back was killing me because I was working at Every doing these— I was in the car driving for like 4 or 5 hours every day.

I did so much driving, car full of parcels.

I end up knowing— I knew the village so well I could just plan the route where I'd plan the first deliveries to be the furthest part of the village and then work my way back through the village towards my house.

I liked how you can pick and choose where you started to deliver.

How many minutes? 2 minutes. 2 minutes and then we go to bed.

S26 Ultra. What? There's no way that's been announced.

This might finally lead to a new design on the S 26 Ultra. Let me explain. What's up guys, Sal here. So the only meaningful camera upgrade on the S26 Ultra would be the 3x telephoto lens going from 10 to 12 megapixels. But that's not the full picture. The main 200-megapixel sensor and even the 5x periscope camera are

getting substantial sensor upgrades. And that brings us to 3 real improvements in image quality. Here's what's going on. First, Ice Universe says the S26 Ultra will use Samsung's new and unannounced HP2+ sensor for the main camera. I don't care about the camera.

Why don't they ever talk about like the modem connectivity? Why is it always about the stupid camera? They really already look good enough. Stop making them more and more megapixels. It's making me look ugly. Look how ugly I look with this one.

I don't want more megapixels.

15 seconds. Well, so much thank you very well for watching my stream. See you tomorrow after the lawyer call.