Kick Livestreams/pre bed time show 2025-10-16 04_33 [68ce02f3-pre-bed-time-show] 480p

So where everyone tuning in from?

Wow,

tomorrow

Thursday.

Today Wednesday,

yesterday Tuesday.

Fingers crossed I don't wake up tomorrow feeling worse.

Try and get a solid 14-hour sleep tonight.

Pretty hot now.

Might play some Darkest Dungeon.

I might as well.

Ruin has come to our family.

Ruin has come to our family. 17 weeks. What is a K-Lay game? I don't know what that means.

I don't know who made it, actually.

No idea.

Oh yeah, right. Prosecute our war against the swine. We must first scout. Swine.

He dead. Continue the onslaught. Destroy them all.

I had a delicious dinner of pizza. Such blockages are unsurprising. These tunnels predate even the earliest Settlers. Thanks for asking.

Go up here.

Cruel machinations spring to life with a singular purpose. And then I want you to

Terrors may indeed stalk these shadows, but yonder— why is there enough gold?

Wow,

boss! So cool, boss! I love boss! Where everyone tuning in from?

Back to

the pit. Dead. Dead.

Uh, executed with impunity.

Dead. Dead again.

Dead. Formation is broken. Maintain the offensive.

When I had dinner, I had a pizza with pepperoni on it,

and it tastes very good.

Then I had some fruit.

Then I had some fruit. Then I had some— then I watched some— then I played some games— then I killed— then I decimated.

Then I do incision. As the beacon is, a great hope blossoms.

Oh, hello, my mate. Where are you tuning in from? Why don't you like the game?

Is this game— is it scary?

Don't be scared. Confidence surges as the enemy— wow, I can't be bothered. Too much go here, go there, find this person, find that.

I need a game where it's not like that.

You know how many times I lost or get stuck or die and get stuck on the quest.

Where am I going?

And then I'll kill one.

I just need to kill 2 hours and I'm running too many.

And then I shoot pistol shot in

here, and then I do

Are you— wow,

critical strike there. As life ebbs, terrible vistas of emptiness reveal themselves.

Remember that stupid girl who was like, if you could be a mythical creature, what would you be? What a fucking dumb bitch. I think she ghosted me.

Left me on rage as well.

Ask me the dumbest question ever and then have you dash to get all the meat. Those who covered injury find it emotional.

Why does my pistol man always die?

And then I killed the— oh, hello! And they went up.

And then I killed the pig. And then I killed the piggy. And then my highwayman found 2

Oh, and I shoot this, and then

I— oh, he dead, dead. And then— oh, quick, return! Can they still die in the— is it merely a trick of the light? Wow, look at the amount of things tunnels seem a little less imp— The plume and the pistol, a fitting end to my folly and a curse upon us all. This guy, shut

up. Why

not? Soon you will dare my house's failing. A mighty sword arm Anchored by holy purpose, a zealous warrior.

I want

Holy Lance.

Holy shit. Oh, I should finish him. 25% damage versus stun.

I'm playing on PC. Why would I play on Nintendo?

Oh my God, you got Nintendo!

Oh, hello Andy, very cold today.

What about where you

What? I want my leper,

Pashka.

This guy, the pistol guy— I put the pistol guy in the tavern, didn't I? He needed light.

And then maybe I choose— no, I might take Witch Doctor actually.

He's got Buff target 20% damage. Oh, I might get that.

Uh, what is it? Get rid of the blight. They've got 2 blight attacks, Blade Grenade and Noxious Blast. I want to get Emboldening Vapors and, uh, debuff resist, move steal, charge resist. Mastery

over life and death was chief among my early pursuits. I began— sometimes I like the game and then sometimes my ambition was limitless. Who could have divined the prophetic import of something as unremarkable as a twitch in the leg of a dead rat?

A devil walks these halls. Only the mad or the desperate go in search of him. And then I take the And then I killed a fly, and then I— carelessness will find no clemency in this place. And then I killed the worm,

and I fucked my left butt, and then I did a— oh, I killed it!

And then do the— and then how many times?

And then I go, what's everyone tuning? Whoa, 10 damage with impunity! 1, 1, 1, 1. That's win at flank number 9. Then I kill the fog, and then I miss the fog, and then I—

Then open the door and then fight the skeleton.

Might download some other games tonight, like Warzone, Resident Evil. Could play Resident Evil. There can be no hope in this hell. That game's still— no hope at all.

And then I see the background, then I see the people, then I do the tune, and then I hit the chill, then I do the tune, and then I

The slow death, unforeseen, unforgiven.

Confidence surges as the enemy crumbles. And then, and then

I

have a fracture, and then do that 27 first. That's how you do it. And let's take the victory. And then let's take victory nonetheless.

And do the—

and do the— oh my God, how do they always dodge both at the same time?

And then do the bomb, and then do the— and then do the bomb.

And then,

and do the pound, give them no quarter,

and do the— oh my Fuck, dodged again. See, this is why you lose in this game, cuz you'll just randomly get fucking dodged and missed 5 times in a fucking row. How the fuck can you miss twice in a row? As life ebbs, terrible vistas of emptiness reveal themselves. And in the hell

And another abomination cleansed from our lands. And I do the— oh, oh, you just had to go in.

Why can't I eat the food during

Their formation is broken. Maintain the offensive.

Yeah,

I'm scared to see what my electric bill is going to be like after all this heating.

Oh, not spiders again. As the night falls, a faint hope blossoms. And then let's hear

the voice in that one.

He died, didn't he? Narrator, couple years.

And then do the— destroy.

And then do the healing.

That heal was rubbish.

Perched at the very precipice of oblivion. And then they are fucking done.

And then they are.

And then done.

As victories mount, so too will resistance. I should run away.

Um, I don't want to camp. Every time I camp, I end up getting ambushed in the night.

And then we do, do, do, and then we do, do, do. Nah, we're going to leave. We're all going to die. Injury and despondence set the stage for Harold Wisdom or cowardice. That is not very good. Ignorance of your enemy. Very hard without a healer. In truth, I cannot tell how much time has passed since I sent

that letter. Why don't they ever give me a healer? Elusive, evasive, persistent. Righteous traits for a rogue.

I'm gonna take him. And I guess that's kind of— the ways and rituals of blood sacrifice are difficult to master. Those from beyond require a physical vessel

if they are to make the crossing into our reality. The timing of the chants is imperative. Without the proper utterances at precise intervals, the process can fail spectacularly.

Not cold enough for October. I don't know, I'm just gonna sit here suffering. Testament to my failures. It must be destroyed.

Why did I stop? And then Mr. Saw, and then a tube of barf, and then a tube of— then a tube of— continue the onslaught, destroy them all.

Reeling, gasping, taken over the edge into madness.

Come on, oh, you fucking idiot!

And then—

oh, you fucking miss every time. Not random gameplay, I'm playing, you idiots.

I'm the one playing.

How's random gameplay?

Press disadvantage. Give them— and then, and then I do hold my fire and it's my victory.

And then I expect to lose promises and then not get the dude and then not get the gold and then not And then I open the door, and then I cut the tape, and then I do the push-to-talk. Why is this all soft?

And then I, I, I, I, I then I do the bar, and then I do the— is that a thing?

How can I create one? Diminished. Okay, tell me what to do.

Then I do the fuse, and then I do the fuse, and then I do the fuse. Death waits for the slightest lapse in concentration. And then I do Okay, and

then do the— and then

Oh, 1, 1, 1, 1! Did you see that? Death by inches.

And

do the—

slowly, gently. This is how a life is taken.

And then I go up here.

I bleed. Oh no. Finding the stuff is only the first test. Now it must be carried home. Let me go in here and then I go in there and then I put it here and then I put it

Cruel machinations spring to life with a singular purpose. Hey,

I'm not going here.

Mind that such missteps are the exception and not the rule.

If only treasure could staunch the flow of otherworldly corruption.

Secrets and wonders can be found in the most tenebrous corners of this place. I want to eat the fish. This is flat. Who cares? I want to see the fucking fish.

This is the— that's not the boss. Then I do this thing. Oh God.

He's probably dead.

More blood soaks the soil. He's dead. Feeding the evil therein.

Then we do the paw, and then we

13-3. And then when's it my turn?

Oh, you fucking dodge every— that's why you lose, because You just randomly keep missing and fucking dodging. Game's bullshit. When you could be doing nothing wrong and then you just get 3 dodges in a row. Game's so bullshit.

Oh, you saved How the, the double dodge? A dizzying blow to body and brain.

Their formation is broken. Maintain the offensive.

Prove your claim. Tell me how Don't even tell me how to do this. Another life wasted in the pursuit of glory.

I hit the wrong thing.

As life— what? How did all his life— this sense of emptiness reveal themselves?

Is he going to die? Injury and despondence set the stage for heroism or cowardice.

How is he healing? Confidence surges as the enemy— oh, I just survived! Trifling victory. Not a victory. Lost 2 people.

We fall so that we may learn to pick ourselves up once again.

An eternity of Futile struggle, a penance for my unspeakable transgressions. If you give me a freaking healer,

okay, that's a healer. Healing,

mace bash. Okay, there's my healer, finally.

And, uh,

Um, no

one's leveled up cuz everyone keeps dying.

Can't even buy anything. Mastery over life and death was chief among my early pursuits. I began in humility, but my ambition was limitless. Who could have divined the prophetic import of something as unremarkable as a twitch in the leg of a dead rat? Why does he keep Same, same thing.

And then we got the— and then we got the— where everyone tuning in from?

And then the doozy.

Wow, another abomination cleansed from our lands.

Miss and dodge, and then let's do the shot. Another

one falls,

and then I do the

Thursday tomorrow,

and then Tuesday. Oh, 1, 1, 1, 1.

And then I do

the—

and then I do the— what is that? Ah, then I do the— confidence surges as the enemy crumbles. And then I'm gonna do— oh, give

them no quarter.

Even the cold stone seems bent on preventing passage.

I love it.

A dizzying blow to body and brain. And then I do this.

I

can't move to the front. No, I don't want this fight. Their formation is broken. Maintain the offensive. I need to move forward.

Formation messed up. A momentary abatement.

Wow, executed with impunity.

Hey guys, where are you tuning in from? Fear and frailty finally claim their due. Where everyone tuning— where you tuning in from? Vigor is restored. Wow, really? Oh, hello Streamlabs, nice to see you on the stream.

Back. 10 damage. 2 damage. Heal potion. 1, 1, 1.

Oh,

this expedition at least promises success. Don't have any food. Don't have any food. قاعد أتعهد إني.

Uh, 8 o'clock, 10 o'clock, it's gonna drag.

Then I do the shooting. Then I do the— then I do the— then

I do the— kill party.

Oh,

oh,

a lot of damage. Injury and despondence set the stage for heroism. Oh my gosh,

as the fiend falls, a faint hope blossoms. What's that?

And then after the star— oh, getting destroyed.

Oh.

Continue the onslaught. Destroy them all.

A

moment of worry.

And now the true test. Hold fast or expire. 1, 1, 1, 1. And then

Hit it, hit it! Third one, guys! Damn, push on to the task. Wow, I'm down.

And then I go to you, and then I go up. The darkness holds dominion, black as death. I'm leaving. I'm not losing my main guy. You cannot learn a thing you think you know.

That's my strongest guy.

A fever of willful determination sweeps through the barracks.

Put him in the bar.

Got 5,000 gold.

Dodge, protection, crit. Might go for— oh, antiquarian only.

Idol, amulet, or lucky charm. The simplest object can be a talisman against evil. Maybe get to the sun. Ah, this one. Excellent.

Okay, I'm going to feed my tortoise family.

Mastery over life and death was chief among my early pursuits. I began in humility. But my ambition was limitless. Who could have divined the prophetic import of something as unremarkable as a twitch in the leg of a dead rat?

Oh no, not the twitch in a dead leg rat. A devil walks these halls. Only the mad or the Desperate go to the church of him. And I go in here, and then I go to here, and then I get the torch. Littering gold, trinkets, and baubles. And then I pour in blood. And then I go to

the door.

Where's everyone tuning in from, guys? Moment of clarity in the eye of the storm. Sorry, guys, you're like insane.

There can be no hope in this hell. I get this car, and then I see the lady, and then I put the fire, then I hit the thing, then I do this, and then I do this.

See if that counts.

Hey guys, where are you tuning in from? My butthole.

And then, then, then I'm going to do— and then I did the— continue the onslaught, destroy them all. And then I do the heal.

And then I got in here. Confidence surges as the enemy crumbles.

And then I see this. Their formation is broken. Maintain the offensive.

Uh, dodge again. What? He dead. As the fiend falls, a faint hope blossoms.

Then I pick the chest, and then I go in here, then I pick the moon. Finding the stuff is only the first test.

This game's fun like an hour max.

Oh God, I can't do it anymore. Oh my fucking God, I'm fucking done.

Jesus Christ, the game's so fucking boring.

I don't know why it starts off kind of fun and then it just gets insanely boring. Oh God.

Why are there no games where it's just fun for more than an hour?

I already played the new Battlefield 6. It was boring.

All you do is spawn Spawn, run around, kill someone, get shot, spawn, run around, die, respawn, die, respawn, die. It's just the same as every other single shooter. This doesn't do anything interesting.

Oh wow, you got tanks. Oh wow, you got planes. So you can just roll around blowing everything up whilst you're basically invincible.

Tomorrow I get my pay, £620.

I still have £500 overdraft though.

Really annoying. Stocks are not really doing well.

I'm up £500.

Yeah, maybe I should take out some stock money, pay off some overdraft.

Or I just wait until next Thursday.

If there's 2 more Thursdays left, I can probably expect another £1,200,

so I'd be up £500, wouldn't I, end of the month? Now I have the credit card as well, so I'd be up £250.

Not very smooth sailing

for the savings, is it?

So I do 7,616. Let's say I make another £1,300

minus all the overdraft and minus my credit card, I'll be at £7,500 end of the month.

Oh God, this is relentless, isn't it? The money just never stops bleeding out.

The grind never stops. You endlessly need money.

Uh, money, money, money.

I might be at 7,500 end of the month. And then beginning of the next month I'll be down 900. 7,500, maybe 9,000 end of next month.

Come on, market, why are you just hovering in the middle? Let's fucking go up or down.

Good.

It's 8:13. Where? In the UK.

Market's not closed.

The US market is open, idiot.

Oh, I'm bored of the Rubik's Cube. Everything's so fucking boring.

Sick and tired of being bored.

Gaming's boring, watching YouTube's boring, Rubik's Cube's boring. I don't know what to fucking do anymore.

Oh

God, I'm gonna fucking let it end.

It's 8:30. I got half an hour plus 1 hour left.

Oh God.

It's not even 9. I can't go to bed at 9 o'clock.

Maybe if I do some pacing up and down. If I sit down, I feel like I'm asleep.

I'm gonna take the rubbish out.

I'll consider it tomorrow. All over again tomorrow? Yep, and then the next day, and then the next day, and then the next day. And the alternative is getting a fucking job that I know I'm gonna hate. There's no escape from the rat race.

Hate my fucking life.

Need some washing up.

Imagine how many people are desperate to become streamers and YouTubers. They wish they had what I have.

They don't know the hell that's waiting for them if they do ever succeed.

You sure you want this? You sure you want to be a streamer?

You see these nobodies with like 10 viewers. Hey guys, sub to me so I can get things like a fucking torch, man. When it becomes your actual job,

when it comes to your actual job, you're gonna love it.

Oh my fucking God, why does

Everything keeps falling over.

Why do I put the soap on the sponge and then it keeps disappearing?

Part-time job and streaming.

I mean, that would solve 2 problems. Number one, I won't have to lie about having a job because I actually have a job. And number 2, uh, and number 2, it will break up the monotony.

And number 3, give me something to talk about.

Could be a good idea.

And then if I did lose Kick, it wouldn't be such a blow because I'd still have the job.

I don't know, maybe I could try it.

Well, I just don't know what to apply for.

I can't be a waiter or do customer service. I just don't have the friendly, smiley persona. I can't do admin stuff because I don't have the professional kind of way of talking.

I can't do manual labor because I'm too weak. And I don't have to do anything. I can't do driving because I don't know how to drive anything apart from a car.

So that leaves kitchen, but I'd be really rubbish and get yelled at, or warehouse, which would be really depressing and miserable. Or just working in a petrol station, maybe.

No,

I think you need amazing customer service to work in a lot of shops. Just, you know, get the customer their fucking change.

It's pretty hard getting a job even in a place like Tesco. We've got the website, filled out an application form, filled out a stupid survey.

In a way, I kind of liked it and everything because it got me out the house.

And I felt quite, um, happy to finish the shift and come home, have lunch, and then do some streaming.

These are drying quite nicely. So funny, I was freaking out so much about not being able to dry my clothing outside, and now I'm just drying it inside without any problems. Don't need a dehumidifier.

Where everyone tuning in from, guys? Everyone tuning in from guys. Tuning in from guys. More strepsils? I've eaten half the box of strepsils in one day.

I think they were like £5 for a box. Not cheap.

I predict tomorrow the sore throat will be a bit better, but I reckon the dry cough is going to be worse. I've got to start drinking that chesty cough stuff that I bought last year. Hopefully I didn't put it in the bin. That would be really dumb.

I remember I had like a little fight with my mum over chest cough syrup because I asked if we had any cough medicine and she was like, why don't you look for yourself?

Debts look bad again.

Yeah, my mistake booking hotels and buying iPhones.

Kick money has been good, but

not that good.

What happened to the iPhone?

Um, I sent it back.

Yeah, I'm spending too much.

Oh, shut up. I did pay the car. Why are you getting scammed by some website and then believing that it's true?

There's no outstanding balance on the car.

If there's outstanding balance, then how come no one's— like, bailiffs aren't coming to collect it?

Oh, why do I still have to pay for the iPhone? Because it hasn't processed yet.

They don't send you a piece of paper saying you own the car. It's not a house. It's not like a deed.

Show proof. I did show the fucking proof and they said it was fake. So shut the fuck up. I sent screenshot of the email and they were like, oh, he wrote this himself. He's a fake. Shut the fuck up, you fucking pricks.

You think I'm lying when I say it, and then when I show it, you think I'm faking it. So if you're not going to believe what I say, then just shut the fuck up. Believe whatever the fuck you want then. I don't give a shit. What's the point when you don't believe anything I say? Then believe what

you fucking want then.

I don't care if you believe me or not, just shut the fuck up bringing it up.

I don't have the money because I spent it to pay off the car, you dumb fucking moron.

You people must have such pathetically boring lives if you have to come up with this stupid fictitious story to entertain yourselves.

There's no proof I can show where you're not going to go, oh, he faked the proof too. I don't care. I'm not that desperate to prove it. Don't believe it then.

Don't care at all.

Yeah, sure, whatever. I took the money, I blew it all on hookers. I still owe the debt on the car. Fucking believe whatever the fuck you want. Don't give a shit anymore.

See, you'll believe me when I say that, but you won't believe when I say the truth.

Dumb, stupid, annoying bunch of fucking pricks you all are.

God, I hate you.

I hate you so much.

You people are so annoying.

I don't owe you my honesty.

No, I'm not gonna get a 17 Pro Max. I'm fed up buying phones. Why? It doesn't even get any views on YouTube.

Star, I'm going to fucking ban you if you don't shut the fuck up. I told you I returned the iPhone Air to Amazon.

That's all you need to know.

Why do you feel so entitled to thinking that you need to know or have to know? Or are entitled to know every fucking single thing about my life. If I don't want to tell you, I don't want to fucking tell you. So shut the fuck up when I say I'm not telling you.

Who the fuck do you think you are?

Learn some fucking boundaries before I fucking ban you.

Bunch of obsessive, stupid, creepy fucking weirdos.

Why are you so obsessed? You want to know every fucking little detail about my fucking life.

No, I showed my face and they still took my stupid fucking money away because I wasn't interacting with the fucking stream.

I showed my face during all the violations. They said, here is a screenshot of the violation. It's just my face like this.

Didn't interact with the chat enough. Yeah, cuz I got fucking annoying chat, bunch of fucking morons.

Who the fuck would want to interact with them?

I didn't lose the iPhone, I returned it to Amazon. Are you deaf?

You always lie. Yeah, and if I lie, it's because I have a fucking damn good reason to lie.

I do lie a lot. I'm not even lying about it. I lie. I'm lying right now because there are things I can't say. It's called discretion. It's not lying.

It's not my fault you got this stupid fantasy of me being this honest YouTuber. I'm not fucking honest. Everyone used to be like, oh, he's— I love how honest he is. I'm not fucking honest. I never said I was honest. It's not my fault you just assumed I was.

I lie all the time.

I lie to protect myself. I lie to protect others.

If I can be honest, then I will be. But if it serves no benefit and only has de-benefits, then why would I be honest?

Yeah, Mina says she liked me because I— she thought I was honest, but I'm a fucking liar. Yeah, I am, because if I was going to be completely open and honest, I would get destroyed.

By life.

Not buying any new phones anytime soon.

Doesn't interest me now.

Wow, market tanking.

Told you,

but you didn't listen, did you?

9 o'clock, one more hour to go. Thank fucking God.

I

don't know why people are so interested in my car. Yeah, I know it's a nice car, and yeah, I know you'll never be able to afford one that nice.

It's stupid fucking weird. I just keep like trying to look up the details of the car on these random websites.

Now you're getting scammed because you're paying money for some stupid website that's giving you false information.

I only bought the car out When was it?

I reckon it was back in April,

so half a year ago maybe.

I'm kind of surprised if they haven't updated the records. I don't know why these websites would be saying that the car hasn't been paid off.

Maybe it takes like a year to update.

Nice.

You think he would just ignore them? Well then, what am I supposed to talk about? I mean, that just killed off half an hour.

You got to talk about something, I guess.

Okinyokinyaki. I can't believe someone pronounced okonomiyaki like that. Okonyokinyakinyoki. People are so fucking stupid. It doesn't even look like it's spelled that way. Why would you say it like that?

Chicken, chicken garage. That's so funny.

That's like the one thing I'm gonna remember about AJ. She just called it a chicken garage.

I never heard it pronounced like that before. And then I thought, the way it's spelled, yeah, it does kind of like garage.

Face in the frame all the time. Uh, I like where everyone's tuning in from tonight. We're tuning in. Well, it's just Kick's rules. Must always be in the frame interacting with the chat. Hello, guy, where are you tuning in from?

Fucking stupid dumb fucking website.

Fucking telling me how to fucking stream. I've been fucking streaming for 8 fucking years. Stupid fucking bitch-ass support team. Suck my nutsack.

No interaction. Fuck your interaction, fucking stupid bitch.

8 years of streaming on YouTube, never once got a complaint.

Fucking stupid website.

Fucking dumb fucking rules.

Yeah, I take that hand, shove it up my ass.

Idiotic rules.

Can't do this, can't do that.

Now I've got to keep saying, where everyone tuning in for every 10 fucking minutes? Because apparently that makes the stream so much better.

Sometimes I think Kick really ruined my life.

Yeah, it saved me financially, I guess, but then it destroyed my YouTube channel.

Made me depressed.

Now I probably can't go back to YouTube after this.

It's not fucking KickSpot.

Aren't you making big money?

It's not that big. It's like $500, $600 a week,

barely above minimum wage. Now I got to stream all day every day.

They got these stupid categories. I don't even know if the categories matter.

Does it matter?

Yeah, I was getting like 100-ish, 150 YouTube viewers when I was talking about moving to Thailand. That was like my next big idea before Kick happened. I was going to move to Thailand because

I was still not talking with my mom. So I thought if I have to choose between getting a job or going to Thailand, I'm going to go to Thailand.

Debt's climbing back up. Yeah, but so are the savings. You're not saying anything about the savings, are you? Why are you just cherry picking the negative? You're not saying, oh, savings going up. Wow, Daniel. But you gotta point out the fucking debt, don't you?

Typical hiding in my room viewer only cares about the negatives and ignores all the positives. Got to cherry-pick things as well.

I have so much debt when I've got so many savings because £900 of the savings is not actually in my account yet.

£300 of it is YouTube money that's still in the AdSense account, doesn't get given to me until 21st.

620 of it is being shipped to me tomorrow at 5 PM,

but it's basically locked in, so I added it to my savings.

I get the Kick money tomorrow, that'll go straight to the overdraft.

It's shocking how so many of you don't understand how things work

with YouTube. The amount you made in the previous month gets calculated and sent into your AdSense account on the 10th, but you don't get the money until around the 21st or 22nd. It will just sit in the AdSense account until the 21st.

And then on Kick, the amount you made in the previous week gets calculated on the Tuesday, and then it doesn't get sent out to you until the Thursday.

Why not pay overdraft and credit card instead of letting it collect debt? Number 1, the Amazon Payments don't collect debt. There's no interest on it. It's 0% interest payment plan.

The credit card interest is like 25%. 25% of £200 over a year daily is nothing. It's what, it's like £50 over a year.

I'll get it paid off in a couple weeks. And yeah, the overdraft is the main concern, but I'll pay it off next Thursday, accruing about £3.80 of interest. I'll pay off £600 of it tomorrow and then the remaining £500 the next Thursday. The amount of interest accrued on £500 overdraft in 6 days amounts to a couple of

pounds. I don't give a fuck. About a couple fucking pounds.

Why rush to pay off this minuscule amount? Yeah, okay, it's accruing interest by the tune of a couple pounds. Boo fucking hoo.

Not every day. Every day is like 40 pence. I'm saying in the week before I get paid again, which is next week, it will accrue about 6 or 7 days of interest, which totals a couple pounds.

Don't care about a couple fucking pounds.

And then Thursday, $600. I should be up about a couple hundred. The next Thursday, I should be up $800, but then I've got to pay off the credit card, $226.

I just— I'd rather wait until next payday and then pay it off then than move money about just to save a couple pounds of interest.

It's time-consuming paying off the overdraft because The beginning of each month I get whacked hard by the rent and electricity, and then it takes me a couple weeks to recover.

So I got to use the last 2 weeks of the month to build a buffer, but I kind of overspent this month.

So that's the reason.

Hotels have been a bit expensive, but you know, it's the luxury of having a girlfriend, isn't it?

No, I don't spend more than I make.

I'm trying to limit the hotels to just a couple times a month.

Don't

get how this is sustainable long term.

Well, this is not a long-term setup.

I'm trying to figure out a plan where—

the problem is

I think there's just no way we can live together.

Without her finding out.

So I don't really know what the solution is here.

Yeah, I am paranoid she's gonna find out.

I don't know, is she gonna dump me? How pissed is she gonna be? Is she gonna be okay with it? I don't know.

But you know, I just kick the can down the road and think I'll worry about it later, like the US government with the trillion-dollar debt.

Kick the can down the road, you worry about it another day, enjoy the now.

Maybe should be fine with it.

It's not really something I want to risk right now though.

I don't know how to get out of it now.

I do not want her to know that I stream.

Because then I'd be even more like self-censoring about what I'm saying.

Yeah, I don't know, right?

Really, really tricky, this one.

I mean, it's so— there's so many women that get spooked by anything. Remember that gamer girl number 2? Because I got— I gave her my number, but she didn't add me. But then I got banned from the dating app, so I thought I lost her. But then she messaged me using my number, and then I told her

I got banned, not thinking that if I told her I got banned, she might ghost me.

I thought, oh, okay, she probably knows I'm banned, but actually she didn't. She didn't seem suspicious that I was banned. She just said, are we still meeting this weekend? And then I stupidly told her, admitted that I got banned. And then she was like, banned? Oh, no thank you.

Good luck finding what you're looking for. So I shouldn't have been honest, you're right. Being honest fucks you over. I should have just been like, oh yeah, um, I just deleted my account.

She didn't even want to hear why I got banned. She's just like, oh no thank you, you are banned.

And you can't be honest. Everyone just gets freaked out over nothing. I mean, if she got freaked out over that, imagine how she reacts if she saw half of what I do on my stream.

How can you just write someone off completely just because they got banned on a dating app? As if dating apps aren't completely unfair and unfairly ban people all the time over nothing.

Now, when it comes to love and romance, we're in a communication war.

Where any little thing can be a potential mine, landmine, that will just blow it all up.

It's a high-risk, high-reward game we're playing here.

Like one little slip up can— it will be over. One little slip up and it's over.

Then that person wasn't meant for you.

Well, yeah, but I mean, if you're trying to find the one who's meant for you, it's like looking for a needle in a haystack.

You want to have the, the, the biggest chance of success, not make it smaller.

Do I think my sister and her husband keep secrets?

Probably not.

Who knows? I mean, if it's a secret, then I wouldn't know, would I? But I would guess they don't if you've gotten to that stage where you got married and everything.

But I think at that point, like, something you did 5, 10 years ago really shouldn't matter anymore.

I think as long as you're not doing it still now, does it really matter what you've done 5 years ago or more?

Well, yeah, I'm extremely paranoid because

I know for a fact that 99% of women would not even want to carry on talking with me if they found out this stuff about me on the internet.

How many— 2 million people watch Turkey Tom video. Out of 2 million people There were how many girls interested in me?

One,

and then a bunch of other time-wasting trolls.

And then the one who was interested was a drug addict, crazy psycho nut job who was also in the end a time-wasting troll, waste of space.

So yeah, not looking good, is it? And then basically everyone else just thought I was this freak.

Moon— Moon's been watching since 2018. Yeah,

I thought it was crazy Moon actually wanted to date me after everything.

I was thinking, seriously, you want to date me?

I've given everyone every reason to not want to date me through my channel.

So yeah, I know that not people knowing about my channel does not benefit me in any way at all. And I would not want to tell anyone about it, really. I'm not proud of it.

I know for a fact that it won't do me any good if they find out about it, so that's part of the reason why I nuked my whole channel.

I mean, there were a lot of girls that liked me. Back in 2018, '19,

2020. But I think that's because I had clout. That's— it's just, I mean, I was the same despicable person back then, even more than now, because I was like really cocky and arrogant.

But I had the clout. Now I don't have that. The girls are gone.

Plus, I was probably better looking back then because I was younger.

But none of those girls wanted to like seriously date me. They just wanted a bit of fun, then they got bored and moved on.

I think like if a girl's just looking for fun and she finds a guy attractive, she probably doesn't really care that much. But if they're looking for someone to settle down with, then yeah, they start thinking about what does he do for a living, what's he like, what are his values, because they start thinking long term.

You know, sometimes it starts off like, I don't care if he's a bad person because I'm not looking for something serious, just want some fun. But then it turns into something serious, and then they're like, oh fuck. Then they try and change you because they don't want to leave you, so they try and change you, and then

they give up on that, and then they leave you.

That's how it goes.

Eventually a guy will get dumped enough times where he starts to change himself voluntarily.

I think Crypt is still active on her Facebook. She's just gone missing on all the socials she used to interact with us.

I'm so jealous of normal guys because they don't have to worry about any of this.

They got nothing on the internet that can bite them in the backside. They got no internet history. Like, they can have their names Googled and nothing comes up. I'm so jealous of those people.

God, I wish I was just some normal guy whose name didn't bring up any internet history,

who wasn't banned on dating apps.

I just made everything so much harder for myself.

It'd be so easy if I didn't have to worry about all this.

I wouldn't have any issue

He used to make fun of normie guys.

Yeah, because— I

don't know. I used to think the best thing in the world was having clout and fame.

Now I think, I think the best thing in the world is that no one knows you. No one can dig up info about you.

Yeah, well, I don't care if viewers warned me about it. I wanted to be famous, and I guess I got my wish.

But you become famous and then you lose the perks of being famous, like easy women and money, but the negative effects of the fame still linger.

No, stop being autistically pedantic. What the— who the fuck cares? Infamous, famous, whatever. You know what I mean? I mean, a lot of people know who you are. That's what I mean.

Stop with all this stupid autistic pedantism.

Just call it fame, whatever.

It's the easiest word to describe it.

Yeah, it's just really annoying that people can search up about you.

I hate that. I don't like people looking up about me and then making judgments, forming opinions.

Oh, but he lived by the sword, died by the sword.

Die alone, more like.

Going to fucking die alone because of some stupid fucking YouTube videos.

Maybe Google go bankrupt and shut down this stupid fucking website

allowing people to broadcast their lives.

Was probably one of the biggest mistakes of the modern day. Back in the olden days, you needed like, I don't know, television crews.

They didn't just let anyone go on television. They didn't just let anyone go on the newspaper or the magazines.

Like, some random person from a village couldn't just make themselves famous.

Or infamous. Happy now, fucking idiot.

Mm-hmm.

It's not really like any individual video that is the problem. It's, it's like

multiple series of videos which portray how I've treated women.

Badly that, um, don't really want people to find out about.

And stuff like, um, I got an STD from my love doll, like, that's not really what I'm worried about.

Yeah, I'm not very good at treating people well. I don't know why. And I mean, I try, I try hard in the beginning. Like, I pay for the taxi and I offer to do this and I book the hotel. And I feel like, yeah, I'm doing a great job. And then unknown, like,

things always end up bad.

I get frustrated. I say things I shouldn't have said.

It's very, very difficult maintaining good relations with people

over a long period of time,

especially when you're stressed out.

I've never been very good with people.

Anger issues. Yeah, I do get— people really make me angry.

People can be extremely annoying,

but the problem is people are the gateway to everything good in life.

Yeah, I used to rage about Faster all the time, like her driving, wanting me to pay for petrol,

taking me to restaurants where they only serve Thai food. I used to get so mad,

constantly wanting to phone every night.

Ah,

now I feel kind of stupid for getting mad about that stuff,

and then I kind of miss it sometimes because it made me feel like she cared,

and now it's gone.

Yeah, that's why I feel a lot of guilt about Vasta, because I did

not treat her very well. I got

irritable and lost my patience a lot. I don't know why though.

I don't know, like, maybe because in Thailand it was hot all the time and it makes you short-tempered. I just felt fed up all the time in Thailand. So fucking hot.

Damn weather, it's unbearable, the heat.

Oh God, my voice is just gone.

25 minutes left.

Oh yeah, I don't know where I get my anger issues from. My mum says it's from my granddad, and my granddad had bad temper as well. He beat his wife and his kids. And then I will left them.

Having, uh, temper and anger issues and trying to be a YouTuber do not go well together.

Them, cuz you'd never be a liked, respected YouTuber if you keep getting mad, raging at the viewers and people.

And like, you look at PewDiePie's success, he's always— I mean, there was that one time when he leaked his Xbox Gamer Pass number or whatever, and then viewers kept adding him as a friend, and then he raged at them. He was like, I'm not your friend.

I mean, even he's had his moments, but I guess if it just happens a few times, it's fine.

He was like, I'm not your fucking friend, guys. Imagine all the All the bros crying.

Yeah, the bridge incident. What a fuck. And then the N-word.

My first time I lost control and I raged, I think it was the leech thing. I made that whole video Telling people to stop fucking calling me a fucking leech.

I really regretted that video.

I was getting so mad about it.

I was making thousands of dollars a month and these fucking morons calling me a leech.

Saying, oh, how hard Chihiro works all day whilst I just sit in the apartment. Yeah, making 3 times what she makes.

They, they're like, oh, how does he make money? From fucking YouTube, you dumb fuck. Where the fuck do you think I make my money? Because these stupid morons don't understand. That if you get 50 to 100K views per video, you can make good money. You don't have to be PewDiePie and have millions of views. These people know

nothing about YouTube.

I mean, even to this day, I tell people how much money I make and they're like, how much? I'm in the wrong job.

Most people have no clue.

I make £3,000 a month average now since June.

Yeah, I mean, it is good, I guess, because if everyone knew, then they'll be rushing here to make

Dreams and stuff.

Yeah, if you're not a person of great moral integrity, probably not a good idea to stream if you can't keep it to yourself.

Yeah, I have done a lot of bad stuff, I guess.

Can't really deny that. Mm-hmm.

It's really hard to stop doing bad things. I don't know why though.

Stupid fucking fly flying around my face.

Time is it? 9:40.

Do I pay a lot of taxes now?

Not really, because the tax year hasn't ended yet

and I didn't make that much money last year.

The worst bad thing I did?

Uh,

Probably cheesing. You ran away from your date while she was in the loo. Yeah, that was pretty bad, but I didn't know what to do. I couldn't just say, sorry, but I don't like you, I'm leaving.

I didn't have the heart.

I didn't have the heart to break her heart to her face.

I don't know what to do. I just, I don't know, just ran away.

I didn't have the courage to tell her face to face. I was a coward.

Yeah, I should have just said, sorry, but I don't like you, I'm leaving. I, I couldn't do it. I was scared.

I just, uh, I don't know.

I don't know how I could have— I don't know what I would have done differently if I could go back in time.

I mean, I didn't actually want to leave. I wanted to stay and bang her more, but Fasta was getting suspicious.

I thought I better get out of here before she starts like demanding video proof or something,

because there's no way I would have wanted to lose Fasta over that Mizuki woman.

Although I did like how she sucks me off every night.

And just really annoying, she's on her period.

I mean, if you're gonna be on your period, why did you invite a guy to stay at your house?

Periods. Biggest cock blocker of all time.

I mean, don't have this problem if you're a kangaroo because they got 2 vaginas.

Unless both vaginas get perioded at the same time.

Yeah, everything was just a mess. I couldn't do anything properly or do anything right.

Every action just ended up hurting somebody. So I couldn't make any— I couldn't perform any action or choose any correct path without hurting somebody.

Impossible, unless they were all happy to like be part of a harem with me.

You just— you can't make everyone happy.

That's the problem with life. You're presented with all these decisions to make, and there's like no one decision where you don't end up hurting people.

Yeah.

It's hard doing the right thing. Takes a lot of courage and self-sacrifice. But when you're naturally selfish and a coward, You rarely ever make the right choice, do you?

Blocking people, ghosting jobs, disappearing.

This is so hard.

And then everything is just there for people to,

uh, find out,

cuz it's all online.

But I wanted to talk about it because it was

weighing heavily on me, and to be able to process it, I like to talk about it.

And people keep saying stuff, asking stuff like, why did you say this? Why did you say that?

Because it's my way of processing it, I guess.

Oh, probably

go to bed

now. My voice is fried. My voice

is completely gone.

See you tomorrow. Bye-bye.