Mega Q&A with my Wife - Live Stream

Can you hear me?

Hello?

I don't understand what's going on.

I don't know if you can hear me. I don't know how to use Open BS.

I don't know what OBS stands for. Open bullshit.

Where is she?

Um, I think they can hear me.

Where's your wife? Come here, wife!

ひ ど い ね。 ひ ど い。 あ、 次 が いた。 もう もう 一 人。 あ んな 逃 げ て る。 カ メ ラ やって ない よ。 Pre view.

Hello. OBS is very difficult to use.

Hello everybody.

Why did you end your last livestream early? Which one? My internet might have disconnected and I was too lazy to reconnect. What's that sound? There's infinite windows happening. That looks weird.

She hurt her neck.

I don't know why, but she keeps saying it's painful. And then she went to the doctors and they told her not to move her head around too much.

Oh.

And she has this cool pack that she puts on the pillow and she sleeps on. She puts it underneath her neck, and the doctor said not to use that anymore because it's making it worse.

I hear clicking.

Did you get a mouse? Yeah, I got a nice gaming mouse. I'm using the built-in microphone in the laptop, so it probably sounds really shit.

I don't think we need the chat on the left-hand side of the screen.

We have one on the right-hand side. That's her groaning. Don't mind it. Chat box, get rid of that. I could plug in my Blue Yeti mic. See if that sounds better.

No, I'm not turning on the camera.

My hair looks funny.

What laptop did you buy?

I bought an MSI 15-inch GTX 1060 Core i7. It's very nice. Wait, I want to plug in my microphone. Oh, Kaka Peep, thank you very much. You were almost a school shooter. No, we don't have guns in the UK. We're not crazy.

Be honest, you were almost a school shooter, right?

I need to set up the mic. Editor, audio input capture.

This one.

It's not I don't know how to set it up. It's plugged in. Do you need help on Streamlabs?

I'm not sure how to set up the Blue Yeti microphone.

The current mic is the built-in one.

It's not working.

Pee in my mouth, I'm thirsty.

Maybe later.

Change the mic to the Yeti.

I don't know how—

and the text-to-speech stopped working when I plugged in the microphone. Device Manager.

What's your name in Fortnite?

It's HIMR66.

So I'm on Device Manager.

I think you can see what I'm doing.

So where do I go?

Um, which one is it? Audio inputs and outputs. Microphone USB Advanced Audio Device. This device is working properly. But where is it? Is it this one? USB Advanced Audio Device.

It must be this one. Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

I don't know.

Hello?

I can't know.

Properties. Device USB. Oh, it's working, it's working! Hahaha, I'm a genius, I'm a genius! Oh, it's working, it's working! Hahaha, I'm a genius, I'm a genius! Why is it echoing?

Genius.

Wait, why is it echoing now? Why is it so distorted and echoey? Can you tell your wife to say hi? Say hi.

Hello, um, my neck so painful today.

Can you tell your wife to say hi?

I couldn't go work today.

Sounds better. Okay, does it sound okay now? It's a hero.

I'm not a hero. I don't tell my name.

Why is she moaning? I don't know, she always does that. Oh, my desktop audio is on. If I turn that off, I'm not sure.

Testing.

My name is Wifey.

I think it sounds good now. Does the mic sound too loud?

How many people looking now?

202.

202.

The text-to-speech thing stopped working after I plugged in the microphone.

Why?

Has your wife seen Tomoko's videos? Yes, she has.

Yeah.

Should we watch them now? Oops, it's not porn, it's just a woman rubbing her neck. She has 1,250 subscribers now. Who the fuck is subscribing to her?

Your fan.

Who's this guy?

Your hater, maybe.

How else? She's still uploading videos. 2 days ago. Where's the chat box gone? I can't see the chat now. How do I do this?

What?

It's gone weird.

I'm very confused.

That's my Steam. Pull the chat out. How'd you do that? It's only showing half of edge. How do I put it back out to show you the full thing? Oh, I don't know how to use this. I have no idea. The split-screen thing goes really buggy. Look, half of it's disappeared.

Oh wow.

It's like it's frozen in the split-screen mode and I can't put it back into full-screen mode. Close window. Just close everything. Look, it's doing it again at the bottom. It's really glitchy. Okay, I think it's, it's kind of fixed, but the bottom of the window of Edge has disappeared. Oh, I fixed it, I fixed it. It's okay. So this is Tomoko's YouTube page, and she's still uploading videos. 2 days ago, My Adventure, I Had 4 Accidents, 240 views.

It must be boring.

Video.

Who the hell was that guy? I don't know. Tomoko's videos are boring.

I think so.

She hardly says anything interesting.

Explain what happened to your neck.

I don't— we did hard serial yesterday.

No.

Can you hear my voice?

Do you have a job besides YouTube? Yes, I also stream on Twitch. twitch.tv/danielhimr. Check out Lemon Party. Does it have porn on it? I don't want to get banned from YouTube. My next problem is the text-to-speech and the alert box thing stopped making any sounds after I plugged in the Blue Yeti microphone. How do I fix it? Does anyone know?

Daniel broke my neck.

After I plugged in the microphone, the, um, alert box thing stopped making sounds.

Alert box.

I didn't touch her. She sleeps in a weird way. She sleeps on her stomach with her neck twisted to the side. She has really bad posture when she sleeps, and then she has this cool pack that she puts underneath her neck, and apparently that makes it worse. It's my blog. I'll donate $100 if you go. Okay, I'll check it out on my phone. What's it called? Lemonparty.org. It's a really bad idea to sleep on your stomach and have your neck twisted 90 degrees. Of course it's gonna hurt.

Hmm?

I didn't know that putting a cool pack underneath your neck would make it worse though, because usually if you have a sprained ankle or some part of your body hurts, you put something cold onto it to make it better.

Ah.

Hmm?

Uh-huh.

Does she know what cereal is? Yes, she does. Cold is for sweating.

My accent rate is rubbish.

Rubbish.

Rubbish. Not rubbish.

Rubbish.

If you have questions for the wife, here's your chance. Everyone keeps saying, why don't your wife— why doesn't your wife make a video? We'd love to hear What she says. She's right here, ask away. I love her creepy sounding voice.

What does she know?

Creepy.

So why do you think my voice is creepy?

Oh, thank you, Kai. Question for your wife. Toilet squid.

Squid.

Why is your husband such a toilet squid?

It's weird.

My favorite food is Korean barbecue.

I'm 37 years old.

Why do you like Daniel?

I don't know.

What? He's a good husband. That was her answer. I don't know. Why do you like Daniel?

Oh, very difficult question. I always thinking why I'm like him. I couldn't reply. Because I'm handsome. Because of money?

Handsome.

Handsome.

Do you think Daniel is handsome?

What would you change about Daniel?

Uh, his grass is—

what?

That's how you try to stingy. Cringy.

My style?

My— his grass.

Grass? My glasses?

Grass is gone.

My grass? We got new glasses.

My friend Told me his glasses is very dasai. Nandake?

Cringy.

Ugly.

Ugly.

Everyone says my glasses look horrible.

Cringy.

But we went to buy new glasses. They should be ready on the week— this weekend.

He look like a teenager. Cringy, cringy.

Would you let Daniel have cereal with Tomoko or another woman? Huh? Would you let Daniel have cereal with another woman?

No.

And when was the last time you talked to the Australian guy?

Oh, last time, only text.

When?

Oh, 6 months ago.

Really?

I don't know.

Are you sure?

He blocked me, maybe.

She said he blocked her on Facebook and Line. Why would he block her? Maybe we should leak his Facebook.

Your fan sent him the strange message, maybe.

Should we leak the Australian guy's Facebook? Someone found his Facebook. This German girl on Instagram sent me a message saying, I found his Facebook, is this him? She said it wasn't that difficult to find an Australian guy in the Kansai area. It's kind of creepy though. She said she wouldn't tell him about it. I don't know if she was lying or not. She seemed like a nice person. Why is your accent better than Norbert?

I don't know.

Nobita's accent is terrible.

Because I'm English teacher.

But Nobita spent how many years living in Canada? His accent's still really bad. Nobita is a snake. I had a 40-minute conversation with him on Skype and he said he was gonna use it for future videos. He only used the conversation in one video and I was only in it for about about 5 seconds, and after that he didn't put my clips into anything else. I should expose him, create some drama. What should the video title be? Nobita is a prick. And then I asked him, I sent him a message on Skype asking him to send me the video of the entire conversation so I could upload it onto my channel. He didn't even reply. He could at least say, no, I don't feel comfortable with that. He just completely ignored me. I know I should have recorded it myself, but at the time I didn't have an iPhone and I didn't know how to record a Skype conversation. I was in one of his videos a few months ago. He only put me in for about 5 or 10 seconds. I can't blame him because he asked me a lot of difficult questions. I just answered with really lame answers like, I don't know. He said that his friend said that I look like him. I don't look anything like him. The only thing that's similar is I wear glasses and so does he. He even asked me if we could hang out if he came to Osaka. I said okay. Okay, he's a snake. Calling him out now. Any questions? Do you like Fortnite? Yes, my That video got really low views. Doesn't even have 5,000 views. It's so annoying. People keep saying, you complain too much, why don't you make a video about something you actually like? And then when I do, it only gets 5,000 views in a day. I never get less than 10K views in a day. I guess most of you guys don't really care about video games. Ask your wife if she finds you romantic. Am I romantic?

No.

Yes.

Definitely no. Contrary. He's not romantic.

Not at all.

Not at all.

He always He's hiding in my room.

It's my room. I pay half.

This is my room.

I pay half.

No, right?

It's half my room, half yours. So because of the Fortnite video, I don't think I'm gonna make any more videos about video games. It just doesn't get me views. I did want to make one talking about Zelda, but I don't think I will now.

Tell your English student about your husband's channel. I must got fire— get fire.

You'll get fired.

I don't know, uh. Hiding in my wife's feet.

Would you like Daniel to be rougher in bed?

Would you rough? Rough. Nani warakaste kureru te koto? Bedto de.激しい方がいい。首が潰れる。Work my neck.

Can't. She hurt her neck now. I have to be gentle. Has Daniel told you about his cuck fantasy? I have. How do you say in Japanese?

네 네토라레 네토라레フェ치?

네토라레フェ치?

네토라레フェ치는? 사 Daniel. So, so した ら ちょっと 興 奮 する。 ああ、 あ だから あれ か。 オ ー スト ラ リ ア 人 の 話 が 出 た と き 興 奮 して た。 He was excited when I told about Australian guy because ネ ト ラ レ フ ェ チ って なん なん て いう イ ギ リ ス 語？ カ ック フ ァ ンタ ジ ー。 カ ック フ ァ ンタ ジ ー。 It's true, I get turned on when she talks about having sex with other guys.

Ask your wife if she sees you as a leech. Do you think I'm a leech?

Um, not rich. He make money himself, but sometimes he take advantage me, so you know well.

No, I didn't.

No, I didn't. No way. He complained about me in the YouTube a lot.

I never used her money.

I was upset.

But I made lots of money.

He don't give me the money.

I bought you a coffee machine.

Only coffee machine.

You see, that's why I don't like it when people call me a leech, because I never used her money. I only use my money and the money that people donate to me. But then if you call a livestreamer who gets donations a leech, then that makes every single livestreamer on the planet a leech. At least I'm not a cockroach.

Cockroach.

Oh, and by the way, it wasn't my idea to kill the cockroach. My wife told me to. She kept saying, kill it, kill it, kill it. I was gonna release it outside. I cut out a piece of cardboard to put underneath the cup, and I was gonna scoop it up, but when I tried, 2 of its legs had fallen off. Somehow it pulled off 2 of its legs, and it looked like it was gonna escape from underneath the gap, so we got out this bleach spray and sprayed it instead. Do cockroaches even feel pain? I don't think they do. Why don't you get a bigger apartment?

Uh...

That would be nice. It would be nice to have a separate room to have a desk and a proper computer. The laptop's really good, but the fan's very noisy when I play games on it. If I had a proper computer, I could get a graphics card that had triple fans and it would be really quiet. But we don't really need to move.

Uh?

Would you like to move?

Move?

Bigger place.

Uh...

Boss is fine.

What's fine?

Uh, big— bigger room is better.

I want a square.

This room is narrow now. Only me, it's enough.

He—

a lot of stuff are there now. Because of Daniel.

He have— he bought a lot of stuff.

Computer, game, and coffee machine.

That's yours. I only have a laptop, an iPad, 2 phones, and a Switch.

I threw away his winter clothes— closet.

Yeah, she chucked away all of my winter clothes. When I ran away. When winter comes, I need to do a lot of shopping.

When?

When?

Winter.全部ユニクロで買ったから。ああ。 His fashion sense is bad. It's okay.

You should have seen my fashion sense 6 or 8 years ago. I used to wear cargo trousers, like combat cargo trousers with big pockets on the side. Save your Switch for Smash Ultimate. I don't know what to do with my Switch now. Now I have a laptop, I don't need a Switch. I don't need an iPad. The laptop does everything. I should have bought it in the first place.

Your wife as old as my mom. Why?

How old's your mom?

How old are you?

Who here has a mom who's 37? You must be really, really young then. Sell them on eBay? They don't really use eBay in Japan. Maybe I'll do a giveaway, fan giveaway. Switch and then my iPad, which is full of my naked photos and dick pics.

36.

My mom is 36.

Oh my God, I'm 60.

You're older than some of their moms. Why does she like younger men? Why would she like older men?

I don't like old man's physical appearance.

Appearance? She said old men are fat and ugly and bald.

And they smell stinky. Good. S A S M R.

何 病 気？ あれ 支 え 合 いて る こと。 うん。 マ イ ク に。 ああ。 Your your wife likes skinny.

Skin ny って さ め っちゃ 細 い す ぎ る って こと？ 細 い って。 うん。 My wife should make ASMR videos.

It's because she has asthma. She keeps making this sighing sound. I don't know why she has to. Make that sound though. I think it's just a habit.苦しい息がエロいな。エロいよそれ。Is my Japanese better than your English?

Which is better, my English or his Japanese?

He always talk to only me.

If he talk the native Japanese, he wouldn't understand what they say.

Yeah, I would. I've talked to lots of Japanese women in Japanese.

Well, only one-to-one. One-to-one is easy.

Too many people talking—

I get nervous. Even if they were speaking English, I wouldn't say anything. I passed level 2 JLPT back in 2009. That's really difficult, you know. And I nearly passed level 1. But I failed the reading section. Reading's really difficult. I don't speak to guys. I don't speak to Japanese guys. I don't see the point. I didn't come to Japan to talk to men. I can talk to men over the internet. So you have Fortnite on iPad, iPhone, Switch, and PC? Yeah, all of this is because of Fortnite. I downloaded it on my phone, then I bought a Switch, then I bought the Pro Controller, and then I bought the laptop mainly to livestream and play Fortnite. Does your wife see you as an Asian man or Western guy?

I almost— ex-boyfriend are Asian guys.

No, what do you see me?

What do you see me?

Ah.

Do I look like Asian or Western?

Western, I think. Not Japanese personality. He's not Japanese.

But what do I look like?

Look like Western or Asian?

Asian. Asian.

That's why I can't get a cute Japanese girlfriend. They only like white guys.残念でした。 What is ligma? People keep mentioning this ligma thing. Is it a new meme?

Ligma, what is that?

I'm zero zero point one percent black on my DNA test. It said forty percent Chinese, five percent Southeast Asian, forty eight percent. Caucasian, one percent Liberian or something, and then zero point one percent black.

Too many people sending the text. Why your wife want to be with you? I don't know.

Stop saying I don't know. She says I look Japanese when I have my glasses on because it makes my eyes look smaller, but when I take them off, I look more Western. Westernというよりまあミックスみたいな。It would be interesting if my wife got a DNA test. What would it come up as? 100% Japanese?

I think so.

But then Japanese people come from China, so wouldn't it say 100% Chinese?

Ah.

I don't think it traces it back that far. If you trace it all the way back, everyone's from Africa.

Why did you marry Daniel?

Why?

Why?

He want to with me?

I want to be with you.

It's a simple question. Simple reason why everybody asks me, so do you— why do you want to be with him or get married with him? My friends also asked me why.

No, Mark, simple, simple question.

Because she likes me. That's the only answer. Why else would she want to be with me? Because I'm a secret millionaire. What if you have Ainu?

Ainuが入ってたら。私？なんでWhy do you think I am I what Ainu？I don't know.

Danielはあなたが彼のために年を取ってるといったどういうこと？ Daniel said you are growing old for him. Doesn't make sense. Someone please tell me if Asians get circumcised. I don't know. Do Japanese people get circumcised?意味わかる？ Circumcisedって何環境環境上？ 新陳の皮膚を切る。 知らないそんなこと。え、Japanese guy?

The katsu. しないでしょ。 They don't do it.

Japanese people don't circumcise. Circumcised. Snip, cut off the foreskin.

I hear Turkish, Turkish guys.

Oh, I should ask my sister. Hussein is Turkish. Oh shit, I just said his name. I just said his name.

Katsura, katsure, katsure, circumcised.

Hey, I don't understand how you can be circumcised— be comfortable being circumcised. It must feel horrible having the tip of it rub against the inside of your underwear all the time. That's not his name, stop writing it. I don't think he would be happy. It happens sometimes. For example, if I get an erection in my pants and then it goes back to normal, the foreskin peels back and then the tip of the penis is exposed. And it's rubbing against the inside of my pants, and it feels really uncomfortable. How do you deal with that? I guess it gets less sensitive. I like having a foreskin. Foreskin, 일본語でなんて言う?

Foreskinって何だ?

何?

진진の皮膚. 진진の皮膚가? 사끼 사끼の皮膚. What does it stand for?

What does it mean in Japanese? Chin chin no hifu?

A foreskin.

Um, Japanese guy keeping you—

ah, BJ.

I don't know how to say foreskin in Japanese. Yeah, how do you masturbate without a foreskin? I think that's the whole reason why people cut foreskins off in the first place. The reason people circumcise babies is to stop them from masturbating. So if you can't masturbate, you're going to be more motivated to go out into the world and find a woman. Otherwise, you just hide in your room masturbating the whole day.

I 'm no religion. Religion? Religion で 合 ってる?

女 に でき ない よ。 フ ォ ー ス キ ン が な かった ら。 あ あ。 女 に し す ぎ る から。 女 に でき ない ように 切 ら ない。 切 る ん じゃない? へ え。 I think it's kind of barbaric though, just cutting off a piece of a baby. And the baby doesn't even get to decide if, if he wants to have it cut or not. If you circumcise someone, you should at least wait until they grow up into an adult so they can make the decision for themselves. What is the channel in the background? It's the Japanese woman who catfished me. She pretended she was 27, and then I met her, she looked like an old woman. I'm glad I'm not circumcised. I like masturbating. If I didn't have a foreskin, I'd have to use lube all the time. She told me she was 41. I don't think she is. I think she's older. I think she's at least 45.

Hmm.

I don't know. Maybe she just aged badly.

고주以上だよ.

Why does she look—

But age doesn't really matter that much. It's genetics. I've met women younger than my wife who looked uglier and older.

Her favorite kind of guy, Australian.

Australia.

Australia. I lived in Australia, um, 5, 6 years ago.

I didn't say my wife's ugly and old. I said I've met Japanese women who are younger than her that were also uglier and looked older than her, even though they were younger. You don't need lube, just spit in your hand. Spit isn't very good; it dries up quickly. You need to keep spitting on it.

Condoしてあげる。臭い。I lived in Brisbane. Brisbane.

If you could change one thing about Daniel, what would it be?

Ah, no, uh, too many.

Too many? Just one?

Just one.

You can only change one thing.

Um, I want to— I hope Social anxiousness.

Social anxiety.

Ah,それが治るといいな。あかん治ったらあかん治ったらあかん。No way, no no no no.

He said it would be nice if I didn't have social anxiety. なんで治ったらあかん?

Because if he don't have a social anxiety, I will be David.

Yeah, yeah.

Social anxiety is the only thing holding me back from becoming David Bond version 2. I'd be chatting up everyone. I wouldn't need Tinder. The only reason I need Tinder— I needed Tinder was because I didn't have the guts to go to bars or nightclubs or to approach women.

If he don't have a social and society, so, uh, he, he isn't in Japan, maybe.

Why not? I still like Japanese women. English women are ugly, no offense.

Mm, he—

I'd still come to Japan even if I Didn't have social anxiety. I think social anxiety is the one thing that's holding me back from everything. From working, getting a good job, getting an education, socializing. But that's what makes me me. If I didn't have social anxiety, I'd be a completely different person. What do you think of David Bond?

Just watching is like, but if he is my boyfriend, nightmare.

I don't choose him.

Maybe.

Do you think he's attractive?

He's not my type. Australian guy is better.

Hmm.

Why is Australian guys better?

Uh, why?

Uh, they're confident. I have this image of Australian guys being really confident and cocky, arrogant.

Uh, he have— he is sensitive and he have confidence.

そう ひ なん て いう の ど っち も 持 って た と思 う。 オ ー スト ラ リ ア 人 興 奮 し ちゃ う よ。 オ ー スト ラ リ ア 人 全部 全 員 が 全 員 に 興 奮 し ちゃ う。 オ ー スト ラ リ ア 人 あれ だから ね 明 る い から ね。 I don't like foreplay.

Foreplay's boring. Are there any men here who actually like foreplay?

Foreplay, honey?

Zenki.

Ah, his foreplay is very short.

We don't even do foreplay. Foreplay's boring. You're just kissing and cuddling. You can do that whilst you're doing it. Foreplay's fun for like the first 5 or 10 seconds, but then after 10 seconds you want to get it in, don't you? What are you waiting for? Just get it It's like if you're really hungry and you go to a restaurant and then you start rubbing the burger all over your face instead of eating it straight away. I've never really liked foreplay. Maybe I would if I did it with someone who's really hot.

Daniel is romantic, isn't he?

Romantic, yeah. Everything about Daniel is short. I'm five foot nine. I think that's average in Japan. 5 foot 9. 175 centimeters. I think I'm 5 foot 8.8, but if I wear shoes I'm definitely over 5 foot 9.

175cm, denchi, it says.

Denchi.

Denchi.

That's why I'm not into white women, they're too tall. They make me feel insecure. White women.

White? Ah.

In England, lots of women are the same height as me.

And the heavy weight.

Yeah.

Meet your YouTube, Daniel.

She watches boring stuff on YouTube, like makeup stuff or fashion.

And the Dog.

Animal.

Animals.

Daniel. That's not how you spell Daniel in Japanese.

Daniel.

Daniel.

Daniel.

Daniel.

Daniel.

Daniel.

I'm not tsumaranai. I'm the most interesting person in the world, aren't I?

What?

He's narcissistic.

No.

I am not. I am the most humble person ever.

No way.

Daniel's the best name. It's not too macho. It has a sensitive side to it. That's why there's so many Daniels in the world. But I feel like someone who's named Daniel will never become super, super rich and successful. Maybe just average. Do you know any famous Daniels?

Daniel?

Daniel Craig, James Bond. That's it, that's all I can think of. Daniel Radcliffe, Harry Potter.

Ah, Daniel Wellington.

I don't like it when people call me Dan. Hey Dan.

Alright, Dan.

White people often say you should get divorced with Daniel.

My friend also say you should, you should get divorced with him.

Call her now.

Make it.

Call her phone. I don't like it when girls call me Dan.

It's It's weird.

It's not Dan, it's Daniel. Dan sounds like someone who's a bit dim. Works at McDonald's, washing dishes, and then plays Call of Duty on the weekends.離婚してるのを見たいだけだからいいですか?

Everybody happy if someone are not happy.

Who thinks we should get divorced?

Who thinks?

Who thinks?

My friend.

Minna ni kiiteru. Rikon sta hoga ito moteru hito wa.

Dare? Yutte. Ei, dare ga dare ga? Rikon sta hito.

Minna ni kiita.

Na minna yes yes yes te uteru.

I think so. Me me. Why do you think we should get divorced? Everyone thinks we should get divorced.

Hideous, no, don't deposit.

No, don't deposit.

I'm unsubscribing.

Why?

You can't just unsubscribe without telling us why.

Everybody think so he get.

But we did, kind of.

Hmm.

We wanted to stay together and the only way to do that was for me to get a visa. So yeah, in a way we did get married for a visa. If I didn't need the visa, then we wouldn't have gotten married so quickly.

Hmm.

Yes, it's true. My— My mother and my sister. It's still now.

Her mom and sisters are still against it. 知らないでしょ結婚したって. They still don't know we got married.

I, I told my sister, but I. Didn 't talk much.

You told your sister? When did you tell her?

In the in lying.

When? I didn 't know you told her.

結 婚 した って 言 って ない かな?

わか ん ない。 覚 えて ない な。 なん で 覚 えて ない？ 重要 で しょ。 Everyone who gets married overseas gets married for a visa. Because they want to stay together, and that's the easiest way to do it. So she said she doesn't remember if, if she told her sister or not, and her mum doesn't know. They don't even know what I'm like. They never even met me.

I haven't talked to my mom, uh, from March.

Since March.

Since March. Since March.

Nobita.

What do you think of Nobita?

I don't know about Nobita.

Uh, she thinks he's ugly.

Not ugly, he's not handsome.

They think I'm a translator. They don't— I don't think they know I'm a YouTuber. Her sister knows I do YouTube.

Yeah, but maybe she can't understand in English. If she find his YouTube channel, She won't understand.

Why did she divorce her ex?

Why did— oh, difficult question. Uh, my ex-husband had debit and lots of debt. Yeah, so, so, so, lot of debt. And we were 6 For 5 years. 5 years.

How long did it take to learn hiragana? It took about a week for hiragana and katakana. Kanji takes years. There's still lots of kanji I can't read.

I lived in Australia about 9 months or 10 months. I didn't speak English at all.

But Nobita doesn't have social anxiety. He just talks to random strangers on the street. Thank you, Dungeon MV.

Do you have advice?

You broke up with your girlfriend 2 months ago.

You think she could forgive me?

Why did you break up? Do you speak to each other mostly English or Japanese? Japanese most of the time. When we argue, I swear at her in English.

I understand everything what he say, especially he complain something.

It just feels better to complain in English. Why did you marry Daniel? Because I'm romantic.

No, not romantic.

Charming and kind.

Why did you your wife break up with a Colombian? Nanda Colombia guy na? Mukashi no hanashi. I had a Colombian boyfriend friend.

Wasn't it just two weeks? A few weeks.

Few weeks. 3 months, only 3 months.

3 months. Was he Spanish, Hispanic?

Oh, in trouble.

Why did you break up?

Because I have to go to Australia.

You broke up with him?

I didn't broke up with him.

We are, we We were talking on Skype when I was in Australia. But he—

He said he wanted to break up?

No, but he actually— he got married.

He got married?

In his country.

I didn't know it.

Joseph 2.0, thank you. Thank you for reading my comment. Really appreciate it, man. Like the videos you make. Don't stop what you do. Thank you. I can't remember which comment that was though. So the Colombian guy left you?

No, not left me. So I came back Japan after 9 months, so I met him.

He said We— he want to keep relationship, but one of my friend told me he got married with—

in his country.

So that's why we broke up.

He wanted to be your sex friend?

He didn't say it's sex friend, but it's like a sex friend.

So it is a sex friend. You can't say it's like a sex friend. Every guy wants to have a sex friend. Kai Sadist, thank you. Ask your wife if she wants to have a Leech Junior.

Leech Junior?

Daniel Junior.

Maybe Leech Junior. So pretty, cute.

My—

his mom want to My mum wants a grandchild.

Mm.

But my mum would have to come all the way to Japan to see it, or we would have to take the baby on the plane. And I always complain about babies on planes. It would be hypocritical of me if I did the same. What the hell is wrong with you, Daniel? I watched a few of your vids. You are absolutely sickening. Charlie Chia, are you that Charlie I know, or you someone pretending to be her? I know this girl called Charlie from Malaysia. I met her like eight years ago, and we used to speak on the internet.

Huh? Who is it?

この人だよ。誰が誰？ Charlie Chia.

그도した?

What's wrong with Daniel? Are you— What is wrong with you, Daniel? Are you— you're absolutely sickening. It's not very nice, Charlie. We used to be very good friends. I don't know if that's actually you or if it's It's someone pretending to be you. That's weird. I can't stand it when people bring babies onto aeroplanes.

Mm.

And then it cries the whole time.

They are sitting in the front always.

They are sitting front.

I'll avoid sitting in the front.

She put sellotape over its mouth to feed it tranquilizers. Dungeon MV. Thought she didn't love me anymore. Took a lot of things like Skyping at night for granted, even though— even thought she Was busy. I was just a selfish asshole. Ah,さっき彼女と別れた人。Just go on Tinder, find someone new. また寄ってる。That's what I did when Sayaka.

You always say.

When Sayaka dumped me for the Czech Republic guy, I was really sad for about two weeks. I cried every night, and I went straight back onto the internet, and I found. I found Sayuri, my first real Japanese girlfriend, and then I came to Osaka.

Sayaka? Sayuri?

The one who had a massive face, like a watermelon.

Hidouine.

Haha, hontoni ano hito da. You were a bit weird when I met you 9 years ago, but I didn't know you were this dark. How did you find my YouTube channel? What do you mean I'm dark? I've always been this way. You just didn't know me that well.

Eh?

10 years ago, um, So if no one knows who this Charlie is, let me try and explain who this Charlie person is. So about 9 years ago when I was looking for a Japanese girlfriend, I used to be subscribed to all of these Japanese online dating websites, and I met this Malaysian girl called Charlie, and we used to talk to each other a lot. And she was really obsessed with Japan as well, and we'd always talk about learning Japanese and anime and stuff like that. And I actually met her about 4 or 5 years ago when I went to Malaysia. We met in Singapore. We went to have sushi and it was really weird, and after that we kind of stopped talking to each other. I don't know if it's for sure 100% her or someone pretending to be her, but it seems kind of random for it to not be her. I've never spoke of her before. We were friends. Don't deny it. We were internet friends for several years, and your Japanese is shit, by the way. No offense. Hmm.

日本語下手くそあの人は。あ、そう。Does your friend think you're some Nothing happened between me and Charlotte.

The only thing that happened was we met and we had lunch. We went for sushi in Singapore once. I think she lives in Japan now.

Hmm.

I don't know where she lives, maybe Tokyo. I didn't think you would be so obsessed to actually check out my channel. Charlie's a guy's name. I know, I kept telling her that as well. It's not her real name, she has a Chinese name. But most— nearly all Chinese people have an English name because their Chinese names are impossible to pronounce for the rest of the world. I don't think Charlie would speak to me like that though. I'm calling it out as a troll. I think it's a troll unless you say something that only the real Charlie would know about. So many trolls, I don't know who to believe these days. Has your wife been to a host club?

Once.

A time.

Because my brother was working there.

Your brother was a host?

Yeah. I went with my sister, so we, we pretend we are not a sister and brother. But my brother and sister's faces are very similar. No one realized I'm his sister. So other guy is flattering me.

Flirting with you?

Flirting with me.

So it was exciting.

How much did you pay?

Only 2,000.

¥2,500.

Ah, so it's ¥500.

It's not very much.

Because only— it's a trial.

A trial?

Trial. First time, and it was the event.

Did you like it?

He is very kind.

He was very kind and romantic.

Romantic. More romantic than Daniel.

They're professionals. That's what they get paid for, to chat women up and make them feel good.

Really talkative.

Hosts make a lot of money. There was a documentary on TV about them. They get really drunk. They get really messed up. They have to drink a lot. They have that weird hairstyle.

My brother had a weird hairstyle. He was not—

he was normal, looked like normal guy.

Can't believe you are calling me a troll now just to make It look like I'm lying. I'm not saying you're lying. I just— I'm saying I don't believe that you're actually Charlie. Say something that only Charlie would know, and then I'll believe you. It's just very out of character. Charlie's a very nice girl. She wouldn't speak to me like this. But I do find it strange, very random, that a troll would pick Charlie of all people. People to pretend to be. I don't know what Chinese. I don't know how to read Chinese, so I don't know why you're typing in Chinese. We need proof it's the real Charlie.

You are— does your wife know you are gay? Daniel don't speak, uh, Kansai-ben.

I think it's silly. I like Hyo-jung. Do you have to be separated for a year in order to get divorced in Japan?

What? Do you have to be separated for—

You can get divorced the very next day if you wanted to.

I worked in Australia in a farm.

I was picking the strawberry and zucchini. It was tough, hard. I hate it.

If you're the real Charlie, send me a message now on Instagram. Otherwise, I don 't believe you.

K ans ai Ben is awesome. I think so.

Look, ah, この 人 だ よ。 Char lie Cheer.

Hee, cool y on.

可愛 く ない よ。 顔 が で っ か い。 め っちゃ で っ か い よ。 これ と 比 べ た ら。 写 真 は 可愛 く 見 える けど、 実 際 は ちょっと 違う ね。 It was walking.

holiday.

So before, the salary was good. Recently, so my Australian friends say it's cheap.

I'm not sure.

Australia sucks.

Why?

I don't see the appeal of Australia. I guess it's appealing if you're Asian. It's the closest Western country in Asia.

Immigration— immigrants. Many immigrants are living there.

In Australia.

Australia.

Now, so many Chinese are living.

There's Chinese people everywhere. Does your wife know about BJ in the park?

What?

Where is the BJ in the park? He, his face is so cute.

She saw. I have a photo of him on Instagram.

Your wife knows? Yes.

Did Charlie send you a message on Instagram? No, I'm still waiting.

Many OZ are blonde.

Where's Charlie gone? But Charlie's on my following list of people, I think. I think I'm following her. Yeah, I am, I am following her. You just went onto my followers— on my following list on Instagram, just picked some random person on it, didn't you? You can't trick me That easily. I don't know what ligma is. It's like this new joke that's going on. Does wifey listen to music? She has really bad music taste.

I like K-pop.

Perry.

She likes Katy Perry. Who else do you like? Who else do you like?

Who ask you like? Who else?

Who else?誰かな。いつも誰聞いてる？ Justin Bieber.

Oh my God! She likes Justin Bieber.

His face so cute.

But he's a dickhead. Everyone hates him.

America人や英語のアクセント好きですか？Actually, I didn't recognize American people's accent in the British accent. Recently, I can.

It's completely different. Who else do you like apart from Katy Perry and Justin Bieber? Third.

Third.

Musician.

Who else do you like? Ah, Justin Bieber was so many, but who else? I always listen randomly, so, um, you chose the music?

Show your music on your phone.

Music.

Why do you use Line Music? Why don't you use Apple Music? Apple Music's better. She has one. Why do you have Linkin Park? You don't like metal.

This song is not metal.

One More Light, Linkin Park. Maroon 5. Soul Brothers from Exile Tribe. Austin Mahone. Justin Bieber. Justin Timberlake. Fifth Harmony. Carly Rae Jepsen. Lots of Carly Rae Jepsen. I've never heard of that person. One Direction. Big Bang, Ellie Goulding, Katy Perry, Crystal Kaye, Janet Jackson, Taylor Swift, Utada Hikaru. Rubbish. What do you think of my music?

Rubbish.

Huh?

Noisy.

She hates metal.

She says it's just shouting, screaming.

How can you not like metal? It's epic. Has Charlie left any messages? Let me check Instagram. Yeah, she has such a normie music taste.

You know Crystal Kay? Japanese artist, but she Her father, mother from America. I'm not sure. Any song? I don't like anime songs.

Anime songs. I hate them as well.

Hiya hiya.

I showed her. System of a Down, Nightwish, My Chemical Romance, Bullet for My Valentine. She didn't like any of it. She said it's just screaming and noise.

American accent sounds like rednecks. Oh, why?

Stream yourself.

Me?

My?

I wanted to do that. I wanted to pretend to be a woman and try it, but I need a new phone number to make a new Tinder account. My other one got banned because I kept— I downloaded this picture of a white guy and I was using it on Tinder to troll Japanese women. I got 2 Japanese women to agree to meet up with me, and I didn't turn up because I wasn't Actually, the white guy. It's funny.

My friend found Daniel in the Tinder.

She told me.

Your hypocrite, hypocrite friend. Your friend who's also using Tinder to cheat on her husband.

I, I don't care. So because her life. She's a hypocrite.自分が。 She's my friend.

Huh?

She's not my—

We should expose her as well. She thinks she can expose me. She cheated on her husband how many times?

I don't know.

10 or more.

She has this crazy Japanese friend who's in her 20s.

She's very cute.

She has a few kids and she's married and she hooks up with 5 Japanese guys a month on Tinder, and she even got chlamydia. And then she told my wife that I was still using Tinder when she found my profile on it.

In December, it was December, I was really upset.

She said—

he asked me, so, do you use Tinder still now? I said no.

So he said, oh, he relieved.

So because I saw a Tinder notification when I came here, we were watching Game of Thrones. I wasn't living here yet, and then she had a Tinder notification said you have a new match. That's why I thought she was still using it.

嘘ばっかりや。 何嘘？ 何何？ That's why you. Still, I'm using the Tinder.

I thought you were.

Oh,お知らせが入ってきたから。I don't like you stream with your wife.

Why don't you like my wife?

That's what keep you not not not.

Charlie said you even blocked me on Facebook. No, I didn't. You can send me a message on Instagram right now. I'll give you $100 if you send me a message.

She's very cute.

Who?

Shirai Shimai. She is Nogizaka46. I'm not sure.

Don't you want Daniel to get a job?

Don't you want—

Do you want me to get a job?

If he is success in the YouTube, it's okay. He, he don't need find a new job. He, if he lost job, he should fine.

Hmm.

Because normal job so tough for him because he doesn't Social anxiety.

I can work maybe 2 months before I go crazy, then I start spitting in burgers and masturbating in the toilet. The audio is messed up. What's wrong?

Why?

Check した い。 なんか 初 め に 聞 いて、 本当 に いい。 You chose the music. う ん。 これ 古 い じゃ ん。 彼 が ゲ イ だから か もし れない。 Echo voice.

Yes, I have 2 jobs, but it's my choice.

I wanted to start something, so, so that's why I have 2 jobs.

Sounds fine now.

Both better.

I think it sounds okay.

Please give your wife treatment.

I don't know what ligma is. Someone explain. I thought you were messed up, but it seems your wife is as twisted as you. How is she twisted? Twisted.

Why? I'm strange, maybe. Everybody different, different personality. She's normal.

What is normal? No, what's normal?

Normal.

There's nothing wrong with the man staying at home and the woman It's just an old-fashioned way of thinking that the woman has to stay at home and the man has to go out to work. You know, there's this thing called internet where you can earn money on at home.

Oh, I just—

Lots of people work from home. Lots of people freelance, they work on the internet. It's not weird to work from home.

Japanese woman like American guy? No, contrary. Japanese woman is very feminist. Feminist.

Feminist.

Feminine.

They, they act They act like little girls. They act all cutesy.

Act cute, yes, act cute.

And it's irritating.

I hate—

It's just embarrassing when you have a 20— an adult woman pretending to be a 12-year-old girl. But Japanese guys like that. Japanese guys like cutesy immature girls over mature sexy women. Why do you think there's so much Hentai and weird anime stuff. There's this whole high school girl fetish thing that goes on in Japan as well. 女子高生フェチとか.

Recently, young guys like older Women, because they are.

Herbie for men. Herbie for men. They like older women. If you see those concerts for those girl groups like AKB, the entire audience are made up of men. middle-aged balding men. It's creepy.

Takakato is a famous, um, Japanese porn star.

Daniel sound— Daniel doesn't sound psycho in this stream. Thank you. I'm a pretty normal person.

Normal person?

It depends. If I'm by myself, I'm a bit more weird, I guess. When I'm with someone else, I, I'm— I control myself. I moderate myself.

Hope your neck doesn't hurt anymore. Thank you. I don't know why my neck doesn't work now.

You have bad posture when you sleep. She sleeps like a cat. She curls up into a ball in a fetal position, and then she wonders why her neck hurts when she wakes up. It happened to me a few times when I slept in a funny way. I woke up, my neck was really painful. But her neck's been painful for about 2 weeks now.

I have to take the rehabilitation.

Rehabilitation.

Rehabilitation.

To fix her neck. They might even give her one of those white collars they put on people's necks when they get whiplash, like a dog collar.

Dog collar.

Dog collar.

Ah, I have to slap the— She went to the doctor's today.

Color?

White color? White.

What's that? I don't understand what that is.

Your wife too sexy moan.

No, we're not. We need to get monetization on this. We'll get age restricted. I need to pay for my expensive laptop. Is your wife thick?

I'm—

I think I'm slim. I'm 153 centimeters, but my weight is 42 kilograms.

So she's not thick, she's very slim.

I think so.

Why don't you stream on Pornhub? Because I don't get ad revenue. Show face. We're doing face reveal at 100,000 subscribers. I'm 160, but I'm 43. I'm 175, and I'm 45. How many languages do you speak? I speak Japanese, English, and a bit of Korean.私のアクセントは Korean 미 じ ゃ いて 違う よ 違う。 何 か ここ を 喋 る ダ ニ エ ル が ダ ニ エ ル。 もう ああ 言 ってる どう し よう。 Ah, it'll go funny if you touch the cable. The cable is very sensitive on the Blue Yeti. It doesn't fit snugly into the hole, it's a bit loose, and if you touch it, it goes— it sounds weird.

Did you respond to the—

Who's the?

Who's the? The it nani? Who's the?

You are throwing me off.

I have no messages from Charlie, so that was a fake Charlie. I'm kind of disappointed. I got a bit excited that it was the real Charlie. She just completely forgot about me. How could you forget about me? We had sushi in Singapore, for fuck's sake. And then I became famous, and then she just completely stopped talking to me. Stuck-up bitch. Thinks she's so good because she has a university degree and she lives in Japan. Yeah, well, I live in Japan as well. What laptop is it? It's an MSI 15-inch GTX 1060 Core i7. Bitch Toria. Now we have Bitch Charlie. What do you play on Steam? I just downloaded Sims 3. We could play it now if you want.

Do you find Japanese pitch accent— pitch—

pitch intonation important? I don't understand the question. Play The Sims? I'm a bit worried it might mess up the stream. We could make Bitchtoria.

Bitchtoria. Bitchtoria Sims.

3. It was on sale, 75% off, only cost about £3. Oh shit, I just revealed my product code key. Oh, it hasn't installed. Damn, it just downloaded. Please don't steal My product code. Uploads installed content. How come there's no Sims 4 on Steam? Do you know what The Sims is?

Nani sim game? Make your my sim.

I'm not good at playing game.

This is an old game. Why is it in the corner? Okay, this is a game. I'm not sure why the screen's so small. Let me see, um, game capture. Capture foreground with the hotkey. Capture specific window. Sims. Hmm, how do I do it? Game capture.

I don't know.

Unrecognized video card. It just crashed. Oh no, it closed itself down. Why does it keep closing? Your video card was not found in our database. It keeps Hmm.

Minimizing.

Your graphics settings have been set as high as possible, but you may wish to reduce them if you're experiencing poor, poor performance. Oh, it's working! Okay, now don't show this message again. Is it working?

No.

But for some reason it's in the corner. I need to change the resolution. Edge scrolling settings, options, video capture, screen size. Here we go, 1920 by 1080. Can you see it now?

Oh.

She has a stupid metal ring on the back of her phone, it keeps rattling. Okay, we're playing Sims. Looks like it's working. So we create a Sim.

About what?

About murdered him.

Is his wife still mad?

Wow, this is like Total Biscuit's wife.

Total Biscuit.

Jenna Bain. Who should we make? First and last name. I'll make me first. Daniel, sex god, male, chubby guy. So, um, skin tone very pale, very skinny. Today, adjust muscle size. I think I'm even more skinny.

More skinny.

More. Change his face. Where's his hair? We need to change the hair. ugly right now.

Make my face so ugly.

Okay, we'll make my wife first.

Uh.

Create Sim. Why is it so slow? Okay, female. Daniel's wife. Yeah, Daniel's wife.

He bad taste. He's ideal.

Ideal.

My ideal woman.

Ideal woman. Chubby girl.

Big, uh, big boobs.

Big boobs.

Skin tone very pale.

He likes Nyanko Star. She's not cute.

She's cute.

Almost my friends say no, she's not cute.

Why all the face templates so ugly? That chin looks like Buzz Lightyear.

Blood bucket. What? Blood bucket. Blood bucket. Advanced.

Bye.

Her chin's too big.

Make the Australian guy next. The forehead's too big now.

It's really difficult making an attractive-looking person. It's weird, in Western games they always make the women look really ugly, but in Japanese games they, they're really good at making really hot-looking women. You play Skyrim or Fallout Fallout. The women look hideous. I think I like this nose. Maybe this nose. No, it's too big. Maybe this nose.

My nose is not too big. They sure?

Where's the hairstyle? She has a fringe and she has a ponytail.

Just ponytail, right?じゃないじゃないやつがいい。Fringeそれそれにしとき。 It's ugly. I show my face.

There's not many hairstyles to choose.

He makes my face now.

They don't have her hairstyle. Maybe this one?

Oh, like Katy Perry.

But the fringe is too short. Her fringe covers her eyebrows. How do I get rid of the glasses? Don't you think Daniel is misogynistic? No, I love women. He hates women. I love women.

You love women?

I hate men. They're ugly and they stink.

Guys.

And they steal the women away from me. How do I get rid of these stupid glasses?

Oh, sexy.

Fashion sense taste bud.

What do you mean I don't respect women? I respect them every night. I believe in gender equality. I treat them as equals, not as below me.

My tongue is long.

She has a really freakishly Long tongue. It's weird. The eyebrows look strange here.

You called every woman you dated ugly.

Because they were. It's not my fault they were ugly. If you saw them, you would agree. The only girls that I dated that weren 't ugly were fat. It 's either fat and not ugly, or ugly and slim. Her chin 's too fat here.

Oh, なんか 顔 が め っちゃ ス リ ム にな。 なん で ここ が さ、 この ここ が ある や な。 ブ サ イ ク。 I feel bad for—

why? I feel bad for your wife. Why you feel bad to me?

Her face is too fat. I don't know how to get rid of crosses.

Do you think Daniel should go back to the UK? Daniel told me he wanted to— want to back to UK 3 days ago because the Japanese staff talk a lot Japanese very fast.

It was so tiring. We went to the computer shop yesterday and the guy was going on He went on and on and on about computers and internet. I didn't understand 70% of what he was saying. I think I understood maybe 40%. 30 to 40%. Gave me a headache. They talk so much. The guy who explains the internet, he was going on and on for like 15 minutes. We were just sitting there listening to him read out this book to us.

Hmm.

And then in the end, they wouldn't even accept my debit card. We tried to get fiber optic internet. They said, we don't accept debit cards, we only accept credit cards. I only have a debit card. My wife didn't want to use her debit— her credit card. So we couldn't get fiber optic. I need to open my own Japanese bank account and then get my own credit card before we can get fiber optic.

So...

I have been to England before. Uh, when it's by face reveal? I don't know when. You think Daniel should get a job so he can improve his Japanese and his social skills?

I think my Japanese got worse. I lost a lot of confidence. I used to work in Lawson. I had to serve Japanese customers.

You always, you always listen to Japanese in that you are in Lawson's.

Yeah, but that was a long time ago. I was really obsessed with Japanese and learning Japanese. Now I don't care.

Why does your wife hate— I don't say— I didn't say I hate UK. I like UK. Why? Is your wife going to do another stream with you? Nani?

Mata ichini stream seru.

Samudaya. We've been with people.

We'll buy a mask, one of those kinky sex masks. Oh, I got rid of the glasses.

Which part am I from? I can't reveal my my home country. Are you going to the UK for Christmas? Yes, I will. Daniel, man, waiting.

Why does he keep bringing up the product key?

Hope wifey could do livestream more often.

We need better internet. I keep saying, why don't we have good internet? She said she doesn't need it. How can you not need good internet? Japanese people weird. They sit on the floor. They don't have chairs. They don't have desks, and they don't even have internet in their houses, and they don't have central heating.

Why doesn't wife show her face?

Because someone because she's ugly. No, no, no, no.

I'm not. Better than his ex-girlfriend.

Because she doesn't want people to know what she looks like.

Why did you divorce your first husband? I explained, explained erectile dysfunction.

You should do digital drawing. Make her chin more pointed. Um, it's too round and big. Chin scale. And now it's too small. Now she's, she's so ugly.

She's so ugly.

Because he like ugly woman.

This is so ugly. From the front she doesn't look too bad, but from the side she looks like a troll or something.

Siblings. Siblings. Yeah, I have siblings. One sister, one younger sister, and a younger brother. Why don't you pray with—

eh?

Does your wife look like any Japanese celebrity? I don't know. Did she hurt her neck giving too much head? He hit my neck— my head.

We were doing it too roughly. Hardcore serial.

Her English is good. Thank you. But he said my English is bad.

It's okay, I guess. It's not great.

Does your wife like Japanese guy? Doi koto? Does your wife like Japanese? Atashi ga nihonji no go suki ka te koto? Yeah, of course. I like Japanese guy. Japanese guy is very kind.

But they have small penis.

And but they are very bright to do foreplay. Foreplay.

Very bad at foreplay.

We don't need to change our surname.

Surname.

Surname. Yeah, because it's our decision. I didn't change my surname, so because it's pain in the neck.

Pain in the ass.

Pain in the—

you can say pain in the neck as well.

Do you think Daniel is a good husband? Did he complain too much? He always complain. Anyone, anytime, anywhere.

That's what British people are like. We like to complain.

But he, he complained too much.

That's why we had the greatest empire in history, because we complained and made things better, better than everyone else.

Daniel, stop bullying your wife.

I'm not bullying her. We're just having a laugh, having some goofs and gaffes. No, this looks a bit like her, I guess. What do you think?

Huh?

Why, what feeling do you want to try? Uh, it depends. It It's up to him because he's a YouTuber. It's unstable.

I might not get any views next month. My channel might die.

I like kids. That's why I'm teaching English for kids. What do you think about British joke? Uh, I don't know about British joke because I am Japanese and I can't understand English joke everything.

You can't say that— you can't say the British Empire got their ass kicked by America. We were focusing on fighting the podium. America was like an afterthought. If we dedicated everything to control America, we could have won the War of Independence. But it was such a long way away. You can't ship that many troops and supplies across the Atlantic Ocean in the 1800s. It's too far away. We were preoccupied with Napoleon.

I teach kids English too. Worst job ever. Yeah, so teaching English to kids is so tough. I'm enjoying, but sometimes so tired. After come back to home, I'm exhausted, but he complains me, so don't, don't Sleep, don't sleep. But I'm exhausted that I working outside, so normal people understand I am tired.

She comes home, she just eats and goes to sleep. Boring.

Does your wife understand sarcasm? I hear hard Japanese people do not. Japanese— I think Osaka Japanese people can understand sarcasm.

But it's not the same as British sarcasm.

I think so.

If you don't get sarcasm, then the things British people say just sounds like they're being mean, but they're not really being that mean. They're just having a bit of fun. These noses are horrible.

I'm teaching English in cram school. Do you— what do you mean? I don't watch anime. Before, I read a lot of manga when I was high school student. My sister love collecting the manga, so I borrow it. I work at Call center. Call center. I'm selling the, um, hair food and cosmetics. I'm good at talking to many people. I'm not nervous and I know how to sell the stuff. Do you love it when your husband make video about you? Very time. You have little. Yeah, we used to have a lot of argument recently. Get少なくなってるなんていうコールセンターじゃ大変。Yes, call center is a hard job, but I don't care. She has such a nice voice. Thank you, arigato. For Japanese person, she speak good English, but it needs a little bit of improvement. Yes, I know. My sometimes I my grammar is.

これ Wi-Fi使ってる。これ使ってないじゃん。あ使ってるわ。 Stream s offline? な んで? な あ。 動 いて んで でも。 オ フ ライ ン だ って。 誰 が 今？ 誰 が じゃない、 St ream が 動 いて んで。 Oh, can you hear? I think it was lagging.

Hmm.

You're back.

Hmm.

I'm not sure what happened. My $2,000 laptop can't even stream The Sims. It's the internet. The internet sucks.

Huh?

We need fiber.

He's a sailfish.

No.

Does it look like me?

Selfish and, uh, childish and narcissistic.

What?

I'm not a narcissist. I look so ugly. This guy looks like a drug dealer.

Sorry.

She works in a call center. She sells cosmetics. That's it. Why is he wearing a collar on his neck?

犬 みたい。 D og 何？ Ch ain 首 は neck neck 何？ C ollar collar We paid about 何 ぼ 払 ってる？ ¥4,000 a month.

Oh, if we pay the fiber, we pay 4 ¥4,000.

It's only $40 for 5 optic. Why didn't we get it in the first place?

I don't know. He always change his mind. I can't understand why. He always change his mind. I always ask him, is it okay? Yeah, he said okay, but next day he change it. His mind changed. I could— I can't treat him.

Because I wasn't interested in playing games when we got the Wi-Fi a few months ago. I can't get rid of this stupid neck thing. How do you get rid of it?

That's so cheap. I think so. Japanese fiber fee is cheap, cheaper than UK, US. We always speak Japanese. I pay 100 yen. $110 for slow internet.

His wife knows he's selfish, childish, and narcissistic. Why is she with him? Because she loves me.

Yeah.

Why else? Freckles?

I don't know.

Loneliness, desperation, desperation. True, no, maybe she love him. A dark relationship and complicated. Yes, you're right, it is very complicated. I can't explain you why I like him. Australia. Internet in Australia is expensive and very slow. I remember Australian fiber internet is very slow. What is your favorite Japanese song?

I like I look so emo.

Emo?

Emo.

Emo? Otaku? Like Gnarld? How are you? Qualified. So qualified to teach.

How are you qualified? She's in the top class at her English school. Maybe she got a certificate.

Yeah, wife, do you listen to Hikaru? Yes, I love Hikaru.

You got lucky, Daniel. Any other woman would have kicked It's your butt by now. Well, maybe.

What do you think about Daniel's face?

My face?

I like his face. If he ugly, I didn't get married with him. He also same. If my face is ugly, he They didn't get married with me. It's easy.

Because she's the least ugly woman that I've been with so far.

Do you listen to Tokyo? Be ambitious. That's Daniel teach you? No, he, he don't. He doesn't teach English me.

I taught you some words, but you forget it straight away. Oh, this stupid neck collar is part of the shirt, that's why.

Daniel is divorcing you when he found Someone hot, maybe upgrade. He— Daniel, has she gotten into Star Wars? Yes, yes, it's true. I'm not really into Star Wars because I don't like sci-fi.

And she went with Jurassic Park with me. I downloaded Lost World and she fell asleep after 20 minutes. No, one of the best movies ever.

I was very offended, exhausted, so I feel sleepy.

So, but you just have to sit there and look.

It's only in English.

It's not difficult.

No Japanese subtitles though. I have to focus on the English, so it's tough. Half and hard after work. Do you guys have in common Jurassic Park? I think Jurassic Park is better than Star Wars.

No.

Or same. You picked a bad time to write Star Wars.

Star Wars sucks right now. All the new Star Wars movies are terrible, just really bad. Give it back to George Lucas. The prequels were better than this new stuff. I preferred Jar Jar Binks over the new stuff. All these trousers look horrible.

I watch anime, sub school all the time. Yes, I need a subtitle when I watch the movie, English movie. So concentrating 2 hours is so hard.

You just look at the screen. There's hardly any story for Lost World. Bad guys want to steal the dinosaurs, good guys want to save them.

But I read the subtitle, the words are difficult.

Add traits for Daniel. So I am— I think I'm artistic, and I'm also childish, I guess.

Jar Jar Binks.

Childish, artistic.

Better than new Star Wars. Jar Jar Binks.

Jar Jar Binks. Star Wars character. They should make a spin-off Star Wars movie where Jar Jar Binks is a Jedi or Sith Lord and he's evil and he rapes babies. No, maybe not. I am frugal.

I think I am frugal.

Great kisser. Do you think I'm a good kisser? Oh yeah, maybe that's why her neck hurts. I kiss her in this weird way where I grab the back of her head and I just lift her head up and down repeatedly and peck her face like a pigeon. She likes it.

I'm addiction. Daniero addiction.

Natural cook, obviously.

Luna.

Why Daniel Vuck is in anime? No, I mean anime.

Daniel's lifetime wish: celebrated 5-star chef, master of the arts, culinary librarian, professional author, illustrious author. Let's become a celebrated 5-star chef.

Do you like Daniel cooking?

Um, yeah, you—

uh, he— my cooking is good. I cook stir-fries 3 or 4 times.

Awake.

Oh, good. Oh, it's good.

Clumsy. This is your traits.

Me?

Me clumsy?

You are clumsy.

I'm clumsy.

You are, I guess, friendly. You are a heavy sleeper, definitely. Kleptomaniac. She is—

Could you beat Daniel in a fight? I couldn't beat him.

No sense of humor. Look, no sense of humor.

Do you think Daniel using you for a beta? I don't think so now. Before, let's see our family. Look.

Oh, Daniel, me.

Continue.

Your mom, where is your mom? Mom, he's And the ampishu, amp, honey, ampi, ampi, ampi is like onion smell. Sometimes like rag, rag, rag, a rag, rag, dirty, dirty rag.

Sometimes it smells like onion, sometimes it smells like a dirty Do you do we have a common friends?

No, no, no. We always hang out only us.

I met one of her friends.

My friend Yumiko. Yumiko.

She kind of looked like the married Japanese. woman I had sex with 5 years ago, but fatter and uglier. Can your—

can your wife cook? I can cook. Because he don't like— he doesn't like Japanese food.

Japanese food's boring. It's just miso soup, white rice, and maybe it's grilled fish.

And rice.

Boring food ever.

And one dish.

Give me fish and chips any day.

Oh, he's a picky eater. Fussy eater.

Fussy.

Fussy. The picky I'm not a kid.

British food is the best. We have roast dinners, shepherd's pie, Cornish pasty, pork pies. They don't eat pies in Japan. They're weird. Everyone says British food is bad, but it's good. And do you know why it's so good? Britain is the fattest country in Europe because the food is so good people can't stop eating it. You go to the slimmest country in the world. They're really slim because their food sucks, probably.

Hi, hi. Japanese food is the best in the whole world. I think so.

Most boring, bland food ever.

I like Chinese food. They eat raw chicken and Korean food and Japanese food. Does your wife—

they eat raw chicken, raw horse, and raw whale. Chicken sashimi. Mm.食べたことある?

Chicken sashimi.

Ah, ah, ah, yeah, yeah.

And raw fish. I like, I like it.

In England, you get salmonella food poisoning if you eat raw chicken.

Japanese chicken is very fresh.

I want a savaloy sausage. And chicken and mushroom pot noodle. Japanese food tastes like nothing. You have to cover it in soy sauce.

Colombia food is better than Mexican. I never ate Colombia food.

Chinese food is the best.

I want to try Colombia food.

I'd say Chinese food is the best, number 1, and then number 2, English food, and then number 3, Korean, and And then number 4, Japanese. Korean food's better than Japanese food.

I love— I like Korean food.

What house should we buy? We only have 18,000.

I think Daniel is missing home. Daniel said his mom's cooking is the best. He said, I want to eat here.

My mom's really good at cooking.

Hard dinner. Because she's Japanese. Yes, I am Japanese. That's why I like Japanese food.

Duh.

It's normal.

That's why I like English food.

Don't deny Japanese food. English food is better. It's okay. I don't— they're not against English food.

Look at this house. This affordable home is proud of its simplicity. This is not a trailer, really, it isn't. It just happens to be long and narrow, just like my dick.

Danny, your wife has gone off again. Replace, please. What?

I, I changed the Coffee machine water. Maybe the water gone off.

He said not gone off.

I think it's danger, dangerous.

Now Japan is very hot.

You boil the water and it's fine.

65 degrees now. Wait, this one.

Japanese people always say English food is horrible.

If you look it up on Google, you see all these message boards of Japanese people saying, Japanese— English food is horrible, tastes like rubbish.

But when I went to England, so England food is better than I think. As I think, it was better than I thought. I thought.

Not sure what house to buy.

Your wife is right about the water, Daniel.

But you boil the water and it kills off all the bacteria and anything in it. It sterilizes it.

I do not like English food. Water doesn't go off, it have used-by date, but it said it go stale but takes a long, a long time.

There's a house called the Mosquito Cove.

Do you know Daniel say mean things about you? I know. We, we did lots of argument. I didn't believe him before. I doubted he cheating on me. He was cheating on me.

She thought I was cheating. I would never do such a thing.

He deleted the cheating video. I knew it. Does your wife have ability to sleep? Do you mean ability to sleep?

What?

Utada Hikaru is trash.

I don't like her voice. She sounds boring. Welcome to The Sims Three. I didn't know Sims Three looks so old and dated. Thought it was more up to date.

Torikizoku de gaishoku shita koto ga arun masu ka? Do you eat out in Torikizoku?

I went there with the Japanese guy.

Ah.

In The place.

Daniel cheated on his wife. When will his wife cheat back? When will he?

She did. She said, "I miss your dick," to the Australian guy.

Ah, fuck you!

Cheated on me, and then she just said it was a joke, pretending it was.

He always say it's joking.

YouTube.

When I said in YouTube everything joking.

But that's YouTube and your one wasn't.

Was Australian guy that better than Daniel in the bed?

It's a secret.

We are in In Japan, I can tell you the God's words. It is—

Where's, where's my wife?

All guys use it. I was joking. Yes, exactly, you're right, it's joke. Cooking, huh? Does your wife have social media? I don't have. What a weird question to ask.

Oh, it's doing the tutorial. I hate tutorials. You think I'm so stupid I don't know how to play your dumb game? So easy to figure out how to play. Don't need you to handhold me and teach me how to play it. It doesn't look like me that much.

I'm get angry.

Who's this kid?

With Daniel.

Why is there no sound? When I have the Blue Yeti mic plugged in, there's no sound. Why are you running away from me? She's running away from me. Why are you running away?

Is Japan house more expensive than UK? Yeah, and I think UK's house is more expensive than Japan. Why sounds like a Pokémon? Why, why I'm Pokémon?

You sound like a Pokémon.

Why?

I was just joking. It's the easiest way to get out of anything. You just say it was a joke.

Disrespectful to you? Do you think Daniel is disrespectful to you? Uh, yeah, sometimes.

No.

Oh, he— thank you. She has You're a sweet boy. Thank you.

How do you sound like a Pokémon?

Pokémon. Pokémon. Not Pokémon. Pokémon.

I think her voice is quite deep compared to the average Japanese woman. Japanese girls, they speak in a really high-pitched voice. I don't know if it's for Forced or not. It's like they put on this fake cute voice to try and come across as more attractive to men.

Yes, Japanese woman's voice is so high, sometimes annoying. And they're, they're way screaming. Their voice is very high, like monkey. She's wifey. What's your name?

No names.

No name.

Can your wife sing? Sing for them.

I don't know. What time is it your place?

Right now, Japan, 5 PM evening.

Did you read this one? Taking disrespect. I think Daniel, uh, it's rare.

Rare?

Because it's social anxiety and society anxiety and society anxiety anxiety. Justin Bieber.

Rotate the furniture.

Oops.

Good roasting, roasting skills.

Roasting.

Roasting.

Waluigi. Ichimaru.

I did.

Waluigi got chosen.

I don't know.

Offline now. It's not offline.

She disgusting at that. Why did you marry a stranger?

We weren't strangers. We met and then we got to know each other.

When I visit Japan next year, respect— you have to respect the lady. Yes, he should. He said that man and woman is equal. But sometimes say, please understand me, he said. But he don't understand me.

You don't understand me. You took me into a horrible restaurant, crowded. Packed with people. And I said so many times I don't like restaurants where there's strangers right next to you.

Were you disappointed when you deposed his YouTube video?

Discovered.

Discovered? Yes.

Why disappointed?

It's not disappointed. I was very Shocked.

Shocked, yes.

Do Japanese hate Korea or China more? It's a very difficult question. They are noisy sometimes in the Public space.

They have no manners. They make noisy sounds when they eat, and they sit like men.

One old woman, she's sitting on the chair. She was.

아니?

아시 아グラ 카카고든 않든요.

She was sitting cross-legged on the chair in the restaurant.

Yes.

Korean lady.

Korean lady.

Korean girl. Korean girls just aren't very feminine. Their gestures are very boyish, unattractive.

Do Japanese hate Korean more than Chinese? Why do you think Utada Hikaru is good? She wrote— writing the lyrics and the melody. I think I like her song idea, song melody. Does YOASOBI hate Star Wars? Yes, I don't like it.

You don't like what?

Star Wars.

Why is good?

Should I?

Which Japanese script should I learn first? Which Japanese script?

Hiragana, katakana, kanji. Learn all of it. You need all of it.

You need all.

Learn hiragana first. It's the most useful.

I didn't know social anxiousity.

Anxiety.

Anxiety.

She doesn't really understand what it is or why I feel so uncomfortable in certain social situations.

I have a fantasy about Japanese women.

Why?

What do you have? Do you think Daniel should be better towards you? Reason for hating Star Wars, please. Why do you hate Star Wars? Uh, I don't like—

She doesn't like sci-fi.

Sci-fi.

I love sci-fi, it's the best. I like imagining what the future might be like.

Do you like Marvel movies? Mm, so-so.